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Irresponsible dog owner Dane Cook can’t be bothered to pick up his dog’s poop after multiple, multiple warnings. He should be grateful he’s achieved his level of fame despite pretty accurate allegations of jacking other people’s jokes and not making them any funnier. True to form, Cook is complaining on his myspace about the movie poster for his upcoming film with Jason Biggs and Kate Hudson, My Best Friend’s Girl. He’s right, the poster looks slapped together by someone who just learned how to use the pen tool in Photoshop, but maybe he should talk to producers and not air his grievances online. Lesser mortals have been fired for blogging negatively about their jobs. I would guess he has producers’ blessings though and that someone slapped this thing together to give him something to “joke” about and get the film some advance buzz:
Before the downpour let me just say that my new movie, “My Best Friends Girl,” is the best / funniest film I’ve done yet. It’s got a terrific cast. Kate Hudson, Alec Baldwin, Jason Biggs, and myself really kicked the funny around. This movie showcases our talents accordingly as it expands on them. It’s a fun R-rated flick. An edgy comedy with a dash of romance.
That being said, let me address the fact that although I’m not a marketing major, I have a bit of a trusted reputation after 18 years self promoting. I’d like to inform you I had no say in this marketing campaign, but if I did, things would be different since it is obvious that this poster is boring / odd and has zero to do with the movie I performed in.
Here are a few things that truly blow about my upcoming movie poster to promote the release of the film opening on September 19th:
1. Graphics:
Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with
3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using “You Suck at Photoshop” templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.2. My head:
The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ vagina.3. The Stare.
My character apparently has fallen in love with a strand of Kate Hudsons hair. Kate’s mannequin is desperately in love with the inside of my right ear while Jason is half stunned, half corsage.4. Lips:
It looks like I’m wearing Maybelline Water Shine Diamonds Liquid Lipstick. My characters name is now Winter Solstice and I’m a hooker with a heart of gold. Jason is my floral carrying pimp, while Kate is my first trick!5. Fashion:
My character is sporting a very high collar I mean damn they should be snow capped at that altitude. It’s going for the vampire lurking in the castle basement vibe. An Olympic pole vaulter would have a tough go clearing that collar. I’m also able to turn my head comfortably 180 degrees, because I was raised in an abandoned barn by a family of owls.6. Flesh:
It’s no secret that I’m more rugged facially due to a drunken visit by the teen acne fairy, but according to this poster I’ve got perfect porcelain flesh. I look like the fuckin’ bathroom floor at Caesars Palace. One of Marie Osmond’s dolls would look at me and say “shit … that guys got flawless skin!”7. Hair:
It’s actually a close up shot of Tom Sellecks Magnum P.I. mustache they photo-slapped on my noggin’.8. The set:
Pick one. This entire film takes place:A. on Gattaca
B. at the Fortress of Solitude
C. inside a crystal wind chime9. The cast:
Alec Baldwin is so fucking funny in this movie! Is he on the poster? I think so. He plays the wise talking plant Jason is clutching.10. Final thoughts:
I set out to make a movie like the contemporary men and women, that you and I respect, are making. My generation of comedians, actors, directors and producers that I wish to collaborate with as I build a solid body of work.Granted, one poster stinking up the joint isn’t the end of the world. Yet it sends the wrong message about our movie and I just wanted you to know, that I feel the pain. I really love the film and I know from past missteps marketing wise that the wrong poster sends the wrong audience into the theater.
Thanks again for all of your support. If you have not seen the red band trailer (which is excellent and represents the flick accordingly) watch it below! Just click of the mute button and your rolling!
PS - “Its funny what love can make you do.” I just threw up all over this awful poster.
Wow, wait … it looks better.Hey … I love my new movie. Jeez … it IS funny what love can make you do.
[From Dane Cook’s myspace via WeSmirch]
Maybe he’s trying in his own back asswards way to promote the film. Cook knows complaining will generate controversy and coverage, and he tries to temper his bitching with plenty of compliments for the movie. It’s possible this whole thing is a publicity stunt and they deliberately put out this bad poster to give fodder to Cook. Maybe it was his idea in the first place. What makes the poster suspicious is that Cook’s face has been obviously altered while both Hudson and Biggs look relatively normal.
Here’s the trailer. It looks completely predictable and annoying - except for Alec Baldwin. That man is teh sex. You can mock me all you want, I’m not changing my mind.

Rare photo of Alec not chewing
After he was nice enough to give her the first interview about his divorce memoir A Promise to Ourselves, Diane Sawyer had the nerve to keep Alec Baldwin waiting because she was at the hospital tending to her husband after his silly heart surgery. I swear, some people. A source told the New York Daily News:
“Diane’s people couldn’t believe how angry Baldwin got. She was running back from the hospital!” (Source)
You mean the guy that called his daughter a “thoughtless little pig” actually lost his temper with somebody? The shock! I’d be more surprised if the source revealed that Alec sat down with Diane and had had a reasonable conversation . . . without his mouth full of cake . . . or without him skewing every answer to be about his love of bacon.
Alec Baldwin is currently promoting his divorce memoir, “A Promise to Ourselves,” and he turned down interviews with Larry King and others, because he only wanted to talk to Diane Sawyer. Diane agreed to the interview, but had to reschedule because her husband, Mike Nichols had heart surgery.
A source told Rush & Molloy that Alec flipped out, “Diane’s people couldn’t believe how angry Baldwin got. She was running back from the hospital!”
A friend of Alec’s came to his defense basically saying Alec’s anger was justifiable: “The interview was rescheduled at least four times. Then the air conditioning wasn’t working. Alec was a little annoyed, but not with Diane.” The air conditioning wasn’t working?!
Do you think Alec called her a “rude little pig and you have humiliated me for the last time?”
Alec Baldwin confounds me. I hated him for that terrible message he left his young daughter last spring. Then I started watching 30 Rock, in which he’s so great that I decided he could call my own mother a bitch to her face and I’d still take his side. Now it turns out he’s a supporter of PETA, and gave a really interesting speech to a group of their supporters recently. A speech I’m assuming is supposed to be ironic or funny or make you think… but doesn’t entirely come off that way in print.
On Wednesday Alec hosted a screening of Blinders for PETA. The documentary film shows the cruelty behind New York’s horse-drawn carriages.
Actor Alec Baldwin has urged visitors to New York to ditch the city’s famous horse-drawn carriages - and get drunk and take drugs instead.
The native New Yorker claims the vices are as valid a “tradition” as the carriages, which he claims are cruel to the horses forced to pull tourists around Manhattan.
Speaking at a People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals event in the city on Wednesday, Baldwin told WENN about the traditions he took part in during his youth in New York: “I walked through Union Square on my way to acting class and got offered loose joints. Drug dealing was a great tradition in this city.
“There are other traditions people can get involved with in this city. When I was younger, I used to get a bottle of wine and get drunk under the Staten Island Ferry… so there are things like that you can do.”
[From Showbiz Spy]
If you imagine him saying that last line as Jack Donaghy, it’s freaking hysterical. I hope a video surfaces. PETA president Michael McGraw clarified that Baldwin was definitely joking. He was pointing out that there were other traditions in New York that weren’t decent, and most people wouldn’t considering participating in most of those. Though to be fair, I have gotten drunk under the Staten Island Ferry. So drunk, in fact, that the whole ferry looked like it was painted a blindingly bright orange.
Here’s Alec at the PETA hosting of the screening of ‘Blinders’ in New York City on Wednesday. Images thanks to WENN.
My favorite crazy celebrity Irish father, Alec Baldwin, reportedly was hosting his own personal roast of his ex-wife at a private party held to celebrate the launch of his new book. Entitled A Promise to Ourselves: Fatherhood, Divorce and Family Law, the tome is his take on the court system, most specifically his experience as a father involved in a custody battle.
At the party, Baldwin referred to Kim Basinger, with whom he's been embroiled in a very public, very painful custody battle, "My ex-wife reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of highpriced lawyers." But Kim wasn't his only target. The 30 Rock actor also said, "There are serious repercussions for children living in a fatherless home. I won't name names - Lindsay Lohan!"
Go, he's so Jack Donaghy. I imagine he was wearing a tuxedo, while delivering this quip, a pointed index finger in one hand and a Scotch on the rocks in the other.
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Photos: Getty Images
More photos of Alec Baldwin promoting his books are after the jump.

Many an actor has made a failed – and generally embarrassing – attempt at a second career. The most notorious examples of this generally involve anyone putting out an album. But here and there you find a failed clothing line or a ridiculous attempt at dancing. But once in a while, an actor successfully crosses over the threshold into a successful second career. And for whatever reason, they seem to have the most luck in politics. Probably because their egos serve them well in the political arena. Alec Baldwin gave an interview to 20/20 which airs this Sunday night, and in it he says he’s considering running for public office.
Alec Baldwin says he’s ready to be Mr. Nice Guy - and he’s mulling a run for public office. The Massapequa, L.I., entertainer, eldest of the four Baldwin brothers turned actors, says in an interview airing Sunday that politics looks appealing now that he’s turned the corner on 50. “There’s other things I want to do,” besides acting, the left-leaning performer tells CBS’ “60 Minutes.” “There’s no age limit on running for office, to a degree.” It is “something I might do one day,” he said.
Discussing his public divorce from Kim Basinger and the custody battle that led to an angry voicemail to daughter Ireland Eliesse, calling her “a thoughtless little pig,” Baldwin said he is learning something about tact. “You can pretty much bet all you own that I would never leave another voicemail message for my daughter that wasn’t just like something out of a Rodgers and Hammerstein score,” said the “30 Rock” actor.
Over the years, Baldwin has done little to hide his brand of politics. He has called Dick Cheney a terrorist, then said the vice president wasn’t a terrorist but rather “a lying, thieving oil whore and murderer of the U.S. Constitution.”
[From the New York Daily News]
I came down pretty hard on Alec after the whole calling his daughter a pig fiasco. But that was before I ever watched 30 Rock. And now that I’ve seen it, I can say that I really am spineless enough to love Alec Baldwin no matter what the hell he does. He’s THAT good in it. Rarely do I admit I am wrong, but he can call any kid any name he wants, for all I care. And I’m pretty sure if I’d turn this quickly just because he’s a good actor, there’s a pretty decent chance I’d vote for him too. Sad.
Header of Alec Baldwin attending the opening night of ‘Top Girls’ at the Biltmore Theatre in New York City on May 7th. Images thanks to WENN.
Filed under: Wacky and Weird
TMZ.com: Alec Baldwin turned half-a-century old yesterday and celebrated with his favorite (and only) daughter, Ireland.His relationship with his cute-as-a-button 12-year-old daughter had been strained, but she looked happy at LAX -- not an easy feat after a... Read more
Last summer, they were hangin' out in the Hamptons together, now we've spotted Renee Zellweger and Alec Baldwin having dinner at the romantic and exclusive Waverly Inn restaurant in NYC!
From the way they snuck out separately, there could be more to these two than "just friends".
And it kinda sorta makes sense in some odd (extremely odd) way!
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Is Renee doing the walk of shame?
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Alec's certainly got the stride of pride!
Alec Baldwin's HuffPo blogs are best read to yourself with the voice of his '30 Rock' character Jack Donaghy. Heed this advice especially while reading the final paragraph of his post titled
"Three Random Things":"I miss my make-up artist, Stacey Panepinto. I miss my hairstylist, Richard Esposito. I miss all of the 30 ROCK cast and crew, who I don't see anymore because of this motherfucking, motherfucking, motherfucking strike."
In specific: Alec Baldwin hates "horrible" Amsterdam Avenue—all those bars. He would also like a job, if WNYC is hiring. We've got the audio from today's Brian Lehrer Show on WNYC: Have a listen!
Earlier: Alec Baldwin Says The Upper West Side Is The Dirtiest Neighborhood In Town
Hey Alec. Honey, we all know off-the-cuff situations involving recorded audio aren't exactly your forte. We've talked about this in our last meeting, remember? About how you were going to call your publicists before you got that urge to say something moroni—sorry, creative—anywhere near a mic? So what is this I'm hearing about your having called into the locally-beloved WNYC Brian Lehrer Show just now during a quaint little discussion about city streetscapes to trash his tote-bag-toting audience's favorite neighborhood? You couldn't possibly have mentioned, during a live taping, that the Upper West Side is "one of the dirtiest neighborhoods" in the city? That its cachet is marred by "all the mid-priced restaurants" clogging up the place? And you actually let on that you've lived in this dirty mid-priced neighborhood for years? Those liberal literazzi will so hunt you down, bro. If you survive the week, give me a ring and we'll talk about an ironic make-nice SNL appearance. Or maybe a permanent Left Coast relocation. You are so fucked. Lotsa love, Matt Hiltzik & the gang.
Another celebrity's potty-mouthed racism has been exposed, blah blah blah—especially since we're not sure that "Dog" the Bounty Hunter, the latest "gotcha" tabloid victim, really qualifies as such? However, we are impressed by his ability to so alienate his son that the kid has no problem selling a tape he made of his dad being a total prick on the phone to a tabloid for wads of cash. It's the new thing! Getting parental revenge, Ireland Baldwin-style.