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  • Permalink for 'Gawker/2008/02/15/Martha_Stewart_s_Blog_Is_Messing_With_Us_On_Purpose__Martha_Stewart_'

    Martha Stewart's Blog Is Messing With Us On Purpose [Martha Stewart]

    Posted: February 15th, 2008, 9:29am CST by Hamilton Nolan
    TagsBlog  

    marthablog4.jpeg"Come see the pussy willows in and around my home!" encourages Martha Stewart in her new blog entry, which we suspect is an elaborate joke by highly paid consultants to circumvent any mocking of Martha by making her own content patently ridiculous on its own, and seeding it with such obvious joke opportunities that to point them out would just make you look like a bully. "Jodi was diligently keeping a watchful eye on my pussy willow shrubs, waiting for the catkins to be open just so," adds fake Martha. Yes, of course. Well-played. It's like trying to think of sarcastic comments about an Edward Gorey book; impossible, because the grotesquerie is already in there. Can you look at the following three totally unedited captions and photos from the Martha blog and conclude anything else?

    marthablog.jpeg

    "This is my dear friend, Charles, in his Institute for Advanced Studies sweatshirt."

    marthablog2.jpeg

    "On my way back to the house I started to photograph all the beauty of nature including the allee of ancient apple trees, recently pruned and shaped."

    marthablog3.jpeg

    "What a darling little Eli."


  • Permalink for 'Gawker/2008/02/12/Brave_New_World__Realpolitik_'

    Brave New World [Realpolitik]

    Posted: February 12th, 2008, 4:21pm CST by Pareene
    TagsBlog  

    kissingerblogs.jpgAs Mr. Kissinger said in his remarks: "I don't know what a blog is. I don't know how to find a blog." His computer, he said, is used to read newspapers.

    "I thought my privacy was mine, not yours," he added somewhat feebly. Powerline's John Hinderaker shrugged and shot Kissinger a lopsided smile. "You should've known better. After all, I'm a blogger." [NYT]


  • Permalink for 'Gawker/2008/02/07/_NYRB__Explains_Blogs__Bloggity_Blog_Blog_'

    'NYRB' Explains Blogs [Bloggity Blog Blog]

    Posted: February 7th, 2008, 2:58pm CST by Pareene
    TagsBlog  

    bloooooooooggsThe New York Review of Books, highbrow home of Joan Didion letters and occasional epic literary feuds (or "nerd fights") today undertakes it greatest challenge: explaining "blogs" to its million-year-old readers. The author assigned to the task? Journo (and cartoonist!) Sarah Boxer, who has assembled a little print anthology of blog "writing." Which means that her task is two-fold, actually: explaining blogs to old people and justifying collecting them into a book to herself. How does she fare? Hilariously!

    There is, first of all, the all-important definition and etymology: "blog" is short for "web log" or "weblog." There are 100 million of them. Many of them in Japan! The "culture of linking" makes it difficult to anthologize blogs in print! Also, "bloggy writing" (oxymoron?).

    Sometimes they don't even stop to punctuate. And if they can't put quite the right inflection on a sentence, they'll often use an OMG (Oh my god!) or an emoticon, e.g., a smiley face :-) or a wink ;-) or a frown :-( instead of words. (Tilt your head to the left to see the emoticons here.)

    Sometimes bloggers they use something called "snark" ("read: snotty and catty"). Also, "Following links is like putting on 3-D glasses."

    Then Ms. Boxer compares a random post from a mommyblog to the first paragraph of Plato's Republic.

    Also bloggers are mean! "I'm pretty sure that bloggers have fouler mouths, tougher hides, and cooler thesauruses than most of the people I've read in print. Here's a sampling of words gleaned from some of my favorite blogs:"

    anyhoo, bitchitude, fan-fucking-tabulous, hole-esque, nastified, alternapop, coffin-snatching, YouTube-ization, touzing, Daddio, manky, nutters, therapised, Boo-Ya Nation, dildopreneur, dudely, flava, haz-mat, nut sac, sexbot, underwearian, fugly, vomit-y, consciousness-jumped, tear-assed, fetbryo, grapetastically, mommyblogdaciousness, Nero-crazy, Engrish, pidginized, votenfreude, angsty, malgovernment, bejesus, JumboTron, man-dresses, babe-aliciousness, droit de senny.

    Many of those words may be confusing and frightening to you, but don't panic: they will never again appear in the NYRB. Well, except "malgovernment", probably.

    Of course, considering that her audience is the readership of the damn NYRB, need Boxer actually explain (and nearly apologize for) the vitriol, bile, and unhinged cruelty of blog criticism? This is the publication in which Norman Mailer once compared reading a Tom Wolfe book to fucking a fatty. ("Once she gets on top, it's over. Fall in love, or be asphyxiated.") Gore Vidal has been making the letters section of Review of Books his own de facto blog for 40 years!

    (NB: The list of "books mentioned" will make you cry.)

    Blogs [NYRB]


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