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There’s never a dull moment when Amy Winehouse is involved. And last night she was up to her usual randomness as she cavorted around North London.
The troubled “Rehab” singer paid a visit to her old flat in Camden in search of her husband Blake Fielder-Civil, who was recently released early from prison.
Sharon Stone is all sorts of crazy. I think that’s safely been established – long before the nutball was cited in legal documents as wanting her 8-year-old son Roan to get Botox injections in his feet to stop them for sweating. To Stone, this was the logical first step – before telling the kid to put on socks or trying a foot deodorant (which her ex-husband Phil Bronstein luckily did, and managed to solve the problem in a non-crazy way).
Now Stone is denying that she ever even considered such a thing. Which makes it sound like she’s accusing the judge of lying – though she doesn’t bother to defend or explain a thing. Apparently just a “nope” is supposed to be a sufficient and all-encompassing rebuttal.
“This week it was reported in connection with Sharon Stone’s custody dispute that she wanted to have her young 8 year-old son undergo Botox treatment at this time for his feet. Sharon Stone never made this statement. It is a complete fabrication,” her attorney Martin Singer tells Entertainment Tonight. “Sharon loves her son Roan and only wants the best for him.”
The statement comes days after a San Francisco judge claimed in new Superior Court papers that the actress, 50, “delegates many of her parenting responsibilities to third parties” and has “simply refused” to participate in counseling unless her “schedule is accommodated and her demands are met.”
“Such conduct on the part of any parent … is unacceptable and does not serve the child’s best interest,” said the judge, who added that she tends “to overreact” to many medical issues involving her son.
The judge’s remarks were a tentative statement on Stone’s motion to modify custody. The judge has turned down Stone’s request to move her son Roan to Los Angeles, where she lives, from his father Phil Bronstein’s home in San Francisco. She is allowed visitation time with the child, including weekends and holidays.
[From Us Weekly]
I don’t know, when it comes down to the word of a judge who was smart enough to keep Sharon Stone away from her kid, and a crazy, shockingly self-centered actress who was not smart enough to keep Sharon Stone away from her kid, I’m going to believe the judge. Several of our commentors pointed out that Stone is a member of Mensa. I’d think if she’s half as smart as she says she is, she should know better than to let herself be responsible for another living creature. I wouldn’t trust Sharon Stone with my houseplant. Though to be fair, I have tried to Botox those wrinkles out of its leaves.
Here’s Stone at the Macy’s Passport 2008 Gala in Santa Monica on September 25th. Photographer: Faye Sadou. Images thanks to WENN.
Sharon Stone was really slammed by the judge in her custody case. Last week it was reported that Stone had lost custody of her oldest son Roan to ex-husband Phil Bronstein. However what actually happened was that she’d petitioned the court for a change in custody and requested that Roan move in with her full-time, which the court denied.
The judge said Stone was such an over-reactive and inattentive parent that she was clearly harming Roan. She also sounds like she’s mother f*#&ing stupid, too. For example Roan has a problem with stinky feet, like a lot of kids (and adults) do. Stone thought the obvious solution to this problem was to botox the kid’s feet. While this will stop the sweating (excessive sweaters also use it for palms), she had not tried anything else. This was her first solution. Bronstein pointed out that he had Roan wear socks with his shoes and use a foot deodorant, and the problem went away. You know, like what a normal, sane, rational person would do You don’t even need to be that smart to solve this problem, you just need to be smarter than a complete moron.
Sharon Stone is an alarmist parent who has gone off the deep end over and over, according to the judge who rejected her request to move her son down to L.A. The court has released what it calls the “Tentative Statement of Decision.” It is a highly sensitive document, which outlines a bitter, ongoing battle between Stone and ex-husband, Phil Bronstein.
Among many things, the judge says, “Mother appears to overreact to many medical issues involving Roan.” In one case, the judge describes Stone believing Roan had a spinal condition, but “there was no evidence to support this allegation.”
And then the court says, “Another example of an overreaction is that Mother suggested that Roan should have Botox injections in his feet to resolve a problem he had with foot odor. As Father appropriately noted, the simple and common sense approach of making sure Roan wore socks with his shoes and used foot deodorant corrected the odor problem without the need for any invasive procedure on this young child.”
The judge goes on: “Unfortunately, the problem caused by Mother’s overreactions is painfully real for this child.” There are many other specifics that we won’t publish. The judge says at one point, responding to Stone’s argument that she put her career on hold for Roan, “if Mother has, in fact, limited her career to make herself available for Roan, she has done little to make this evident to Roan, his school or this Court.”
[From TMZ]
Ouch. Just as an aside, if TMZ is withholding potentially disturbing information from the public, it must be pretty bizarre stuff, because you know they’d be all over it if they could. The saddest part of that statement was that it wasn’t evident to Roan that his mother has done much of anything for him. It’s not relevant but I’m sure it’s not evident to the public as well. I bet if you asked a hundred people on the street to list twenty things they know about Sharon Stone, not one would list that she’s a parent.
Sharon Stone has built a career on being crazy and bizarre, and though I’ve never been able to stand her, she made it work for her. But it crosses a huge line when you’re self-centered narcissism leads you to act this way towards your child. She clearly has some severe mental health issues, and it seems like she’s got some kind of personality disorder going on. Maybe she should spend less time trying to botox her kids and a little more time with a shrink.
Here’s Sharon and her assistant at the Coffee Bean and Tea in LA on Saturday. Images thanks to Fame.
Enjoying a day out with her son Deacon, actress Reese Witherspoon was spotted out on a shopping trip in Brentwood on Thursday afternoon (September 25).
And while she’s usually found in the footwear and handbag boutiques, the “Sweet Home Alabama” babe made this particular outing all about her little man, as the two stopped at a local toy shop called Toy Crazy.
Madonna has always been a quirky lady. To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever accused her of being easy going or overly-accommodating. And considering how easy it is for her to back up her demands, she’s probably forgotten where the normal/bat-freaking-crazy line begins. Not that it would stop her, but it might help her tone it down.
According to the classic “insider sources” (which I think most likely means “disgruntled crew) she had all the toilets taken out, sanitized, and reinstalled before her recent concert in Nice, France. Yes, that’s taken out. Unscrewed. Lifted up. Hoisted, at some point. Each and every one that her Madgesty ass might touch.
Madonna is still the reigning queen of pop, so it’s not surprising that she’s picky about her thrones — especially when it comes to public toilets. Before her concert at the Palais Nakaia concert hall in Nice, France, on August 26, the singer had all of the commodes, showers and sinks removed, scrubbed down and then reinstalled. “Everyone thinks she did this because she hates the thought of dirty and germy things,” an insider tells In Touch.
The self-disciplined star has even admitted to her controlling ways. “Guy [Ritchie, her husband] tells me to loosen up,” she has said. “My friends do, too, but I can’t. I’ve always been this way.” And it’s not the first time the Material Girl has been occupied with lavatory troubles, the insider notes: “During her tour last year, a man stole some of the toilets from the Madonna tour and sold them on eBay for nearly $8,000!’’ Madge kicked off her Sticky & Sweet tour on August 23 in Wales, where the latrines were presumably spotless.
[From In Touch]
Do you think she does the same thing to Guy Ritchie? I could definitely imagine Madonna having some kind of elaborate anti-germ ritual/machine she has him go through. That could explain their supposedly uncomfortable love life. And his absolutely paralyzing fear of leaving her.
Here’s Madonna at her Nice concert on August 26th. Images thanks to Fame.
Filed under: Celebrity Justice
TMZ.com: Darius McCrary tells a completely different story than the one told by Karrine "Supahead" Steffans -- and it's chock full of crazy!In a restraining order filed against Karrine, Darius says he didn't hit her with his car -- she "jumped on the trunk of... Read more
Who would have thought it? Turns out, Nick Hogan doesn’t like jail. Which is odd, because most people are really big fans. What with the friendly service and great food and all, you’d be batshit crazy not to enjoy your free vacation.
Nick Hogan is not doing well in jail, friends say. The son of pro wrestler Hulk Hogan started serving eight months in California’s [sic – it’s Florida] Pinellas County Jail on May 9 for a drunken-driving accident that left his best friend, John Graziano, in a coma.
“Nick’s doing really bad. He’s struggling to even form a sentence,” one friend said. “They have him in a cell by himself, isolated from the general population, because of threats. He didn’t understand how awful jail really is until now.” That will be small consolation to Graziano’s relatives, who say Hogan has done very little for their son since the crash.
[From the New York Post]
Nick is also in isolation because he is the only minor in the jail. Though if he serves just two and a half months of his eight month sentence, Nick will have the pleasure of becoming a full-fledged adult in jail. I wonder what kind of birthday cake they get you when you turn 18 in jail. I’m sure it’s nothing fancy – probably one of those grocery store bought cakes at best. But still, something to look forward to Nick. Wait, they don’t get you a cake? Madness. I’d hate jail too. Poor Nick.
I’m guessing Nick’s lawyer is going to ask that he be transferred to some type of mental health facility – or pull a Paris Hilton and try to get him released altogether because jail makes you kind of unstable. Man, if only Nick had known jail sucks so much. You’d think that might have been a deterrent or something.
Filed under: Wacky and Weird
TMZ.com: Ice Cube and his entourage flew first class from SXSW -- but his "Friday" co-star was forced to sit coach!TMZ cameras caught the crew when they arrived back at LAX, but a spy on the plane says the guy who "got knocked the f**k out" in the 1995 flick... Read more
Professional media spokesman and dessert entrepreneur Michael Sands is already helping his new client, Britney-associated character Sam Lutfi, put a nonchalant spin on his shady activities. What's the best PR strategy when a client is facing legal peril as well as the public dismantling of his reputation? Make bizarre rationalizations to a little-known Hollywood blogger, of course!
Q: Why did Sam give her prescription medications when he is not a doctor? Sands: "Sam had been giving prescription medication smashed up to Spears via a psycho-pharmacologist. It was a cocktail of sorts. It was pills that she had to take and he took care of her."Q: Who was Sam to Britney?
Sands: "Sam was Spears manager. if you look at the movie "Frances," Britney is the 21st century version of Frances Farmer. Spears has mental illness called 'bipolar disorder,' I know this because my ex-wife suffered from it."
Filed under: Paris Hilton
TMZ.com: Superfans aren't supposed to be sane -- hence the kooky woman that lost her mind when she saw Paris make an exit from Villa!The offensively loud lady revealed what precarious part of Paris' past she'd like to emulate -- and it doesn't involve... Read more
Hurry up and watch it before it’s removed. It’s hard to tell what the hell Cruise is talking about, apart from the fact that in his addled mind he thinks he has the answers to everything. At one point he talks about SPs, which is Scientology-speak for suppressive people, or people who try to detract from their craziness, and how they don’t confront him.
“It’s our responsibility to educate, to create the new reality…”
A commentor on RadarOnline, which had a YouTube version which was removed, is a former Scientologist and offers some definitions for all the cult-speak.
And US Weekly has a transcript.
Thanks to reader Moogle for the heads up on this video.
It’s been a little while since we’ve slammed on Heather Mills. And it’s really not fair to let Britney hog all the crazy, much as she might like to. Heather Mills is one of those crazies that you can’t help but root against, and feel a little bit of smug satisfaction when nothing goes her way. And given the way the crazy, sanctimonious, delusional Brit behaves, I’m often left feeling pretty satisfied. Though she’s turned down multiple large settlement offers from estranged, soon-to-be ex-husband Paul McCartney, Mills may soon find herself in the poorhouse. She “mutually” parted ways with her legal team last month, after she went on a round of television shows bashing McCartney and saying she wanted to kill herself due to the way everyone treats her. She’d racked up a $4 million legal bill with her former divorce lawyers Mishcon de Reya. Heather had agreed to pay $200,000 a month towards the bill once she got her settlement, but now the legal team is in the process of writing a writ to make her pay up immediately. They’re afraid that her outlandish spending and stubborn/delusional personality will leave her with little or no settlement from Sir Paul, and that she may burn through whatever she does get on designer clothes and security guards.
But here, perhaps, is the nub of it all. For while Heather may have celebrated the festivities at her large £3.25 million country mansion, she is all too aware that the rug is coming close to being pulled from under her, while her soon-to-be ex-husband still has his £850 million fortune firmly in hand.
A writ from her former divorce lawyers Mishcon de Reya for an unpaid bill of £2 million is the tip of the iceberg. There is, say sources, an ever-growing overdraft of £1 million at the exclusive Coutts bank. She has weekly outgoings of more than £5,000, with next to no money coming in. Friends say the only way she can pay the legal bills is by selling the nine-bedroom house in East Sussex — paid for by her ex-husband so he could be close to their daughter.
What’s more, she is beginning to realize that instead of the £50 million figure it was first estimated she could get from Paul’s fortune, she will now be lucky to get £10 million. And at the rate she is spending, that will not last more than a couple of years.
[From the Daily Mail]
Apparently Heather thought that her appearance on “Dancing with the Stars” would make everyone fall in love with her, and she was counting on a financial windfall. I’m not sure how someone with such an extreme personality disorder has gotten as far in life as Heather Mills has. While she clearly has narcissistic personality disorder, I can’t help but wonder if she has her own special brand of delusional personality disorder. I know it’s not an official mental illness, but I’m pretty sure they should make it one.
Meanwhile, Heather’s plans for making money of her own have also backfired. Anticipating a rash of offers after her appearance on Dancing With The Stars, America’s version of Strictly Come Dancing, she set up five companies. But four of the businesses (I Do Care, You Care Worldwide, Raspberry Fields Productions and Beauty and the Baby) are dormant, and the fifth, Dissoi Logoi Productions, is about to be struck off the Companies House register.
“She thought she would get all these amazing deals after being on Dancing With The Stars,” said her friend. “She thought she would be invited onto Oprah and would be filling in for Larry King (the TV interviewer). She set up all these companies in the belief that she would be hugely popular. But it all came to nothing. While people might have admired her dancing, as a personality, she is not a ratings winner.”
[From the Daily Mail]
What will it take for Heather Mills to realize that she’s the psycho, not everyone else? Something tells me that losing her home will just further enhance her victimhood. Heather is now representing herself during her complex legal trial. If anything could assure her that she’d end up with a stack of old newspapers and some chicken eggs for a settlement, it’s Crazy representing herself. If things go as hoped, pretty soon we’ll see her auctioning that leg on eBay.
Let the conspiracy theories commence. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are reportedly trying to have another baby. The two have had no luck in the supposedly second attempt to impregnate Katie with the seed of Tom.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are reportedly seeking medical advice following a series of failed attempts to conceive a second child.
After the miracle of Suri, Tom and Katie want a biological boy to add to the clan. They have been trying to conceive since this summer according to sources. Holmes feels that having a son for Tom is “what she wants more than anything.” I guess she forgot about Connor. Nice way to show your love for someone who you claim calls you “mom.”
The fact that she has been unable to produce another Cruise offspring in the last 5 months has worried her. The two sat down and decided to take Katie to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles to get the problem identified and solved. (Yes, that is the same hospital where Dennis Quaid’s infant twins nearly died of an overdose.)
Yes, I am sure Katie is the problem here. Being that Tom is 45 and creepy probably isn’t a factor. I know being creepy doesn’t have anything to do with potency, but I am sure Katie’s eggs are hiding in fear. Let’s not forget the fact that he and Nicole had the same problems getting knocked up. I smell a dirty plot afoot!
Picture note by Celebitchy: Katie Holmes is shown looking like she’s going to a business meeting, but she’s really just trying to look fierce while she’s out spending Tom’s money on designer luxuries she won’t wear for more than a few hours out of her privileged life. There was speculation after the Bambi awards that Katie might be pregnant after she was seen with a tiny amount of bloat, but these photos from 12/22 show that she’s probably not. Thanks to Splash News.
Filed under: Wacky and Weird, Drunks
TMZ.com: Dancing in the middle of the road and screaming in a language that doesn't resemble English (no, it's not Bai Ling!) one crazy woman made quite a challenge for four of New York's finest. TMZ spotted the grunting wonder at 5th Avenue & 17th St., where... Read more
Normally I would write an article like this with the caveat that “I’m just passing this along because it’s funny.” But Britney Spears is absolutely insane/demented/possessed by a pack of wild beavers that I believe she would do pretty much anything. You could tell me that she was spotted hovering over the Grand Canyon in an astronaut suit she bought on eBay, and I’d be like, “Wow, she has really bad spending habits.” But I would never accuse you of lying, because Britney Spears can and will do anything to get attention/get her way/prove that you can have an IQ of 73 and still get reasonably far in this world.
According to the National Enquirer, Britney is using a love potion to try to win Kevin Federline back. Look, I’m going to be honest with you. Yes you should take most everything from the Enquirer with a grain of salt. But Britney has been reported to have done far crazier things by far more reputable sources in an attempt to win back the love/wife beaters of Kevin Federline. So there could well be a kernel of truth here.
The “Gimme More” singer has been consulting a psychic on the Hawaiian island of Maui who claims she can concoct a potion to make Kevin fall back in love with Britney. “Britney is desperate to change her luck and get her life back on track,” revealed a source. “She is still in love with Kevin and dreams of reuniting as a family.” Britney’s psychic adviser - the same one who told the pop princess it was a good idea to marry the unemployed dancer three years ago - told her she could concoct a mixture using special herbs to create a powerful love potion that would make her irresistible to Kevin.”
[From the National Enquirer, Dec. 24 2007 print edition]
Delicious. And absolutely true I bet. Not the part about the potion working, but absolutely true that Britney’s consulting a psychic to make one. When your IQ is 73 (okay I picked 73 at random, but I defy any of you to prove me wrong… and keep in mind, the average American’s IQ is about 100, and Forest Gump’s was 80 – ever point counts) you’ll pretty much believe anything. That psychic could tell Britney that her kids were not carried in her womb but rather were spit out by the sun and Britney would believe it. And then pay the psychic $10,000 for the privileged information.
According to the Enquirer, the plan doesn’t seem to be working, as it required Britney to get Kevin to agree to come to Hawaii for New Years, at which time one of them would slip him the potion. Kevin apparently isn’t having any of it – and when Kevin Federline is too smart to fall for your tricks, it’s time to check into the state hospital. HEAR THAT BRITNEY SPEARS! YOU NEED TO CHECK INTO A HOSPITAL!!
Picture note by Jaybird: Header of Britney last night visiting a gas station on Sunset Boulevard where she purchased a packet of cigarettes and a lighter before heading to Raffles L’hermitage. Image thanks to WENN.
I have to give Amy Winehouse credit for one thing: she hired herself a PR rep. Maybe she’s always been around and just hasn’t been saying much, but an official person is now speaking on Amy’s behalf. Considering all the talking she, her family, and in-laws have done, it seems like a good idea to call in a pro.
Now just because someone hires a PR rep doesn’t mean that person will say anything the rest of us find remotely believable. But at least the person lies to us, which sort of amounts to some admission that Amy is doing things bad/weird/dangerous enough that they can’t be admitted to. On Sunday morning Amy was photographed outside in just her jeans and a red bra, wandering around and looking disheveled. No makeup, no beehive… I mean who the hell goes out without their beehive on? I don’t care that she forgot her shirt, but at least put on your 13 inches of hair. My God, the depravity. Well apparently, Amy wasn’t on a bender, coked out of her mind, or suffering some sort of complete mental breakdown. She was just sleepy and confused. If I had a nickel for each time I wandered around without a shirt because I was tired, I could retire. Maybe Amy should consider that.
“She was not on an all-night bender,” her U.K. rep tells PEOPLE of Winehouse’s appearance outside her flat at 5:45 a.m. Sunday morning. Winehouse, 24, was sound asleep when she heard a noise outside. Having had friends over earlier in the evening, she wondered if one returned, according to the rep, who said: “She heard all these noises, and she went outside to look and there were all these photographers.”
The rep added, “She’d been sound asleep, and then there were all these photographers – of course she looked startled.” British newspapers reported the singer – captured in photographs sans makeup and her trademark beehive – was “muttering incomprehensibly.”
Says her rep: “In light of recent reports, it’s easy to make assumptions, but she’s trying to get better and she needs the space to do that.”
[From People]
Um…. alright. Amy Winehouse was surprised to see photographers? I was under the impression that they follow her pretty much 24/7, considering all the odd things we’ve seen her do. It seemed like she pretty much couldn’t escape them, so she just decided to go about her drug-fueled existence pretending they weren’t there. And I know that everyone has their own sleeping patterns, and perhaps a deep sleeper wouldn’t be totally awake and rational, but I can’t imagine they wouldn’t remember to put their shirt on. And even if they did, one step out into London’s cold December air would likely wake them up pretty quickly. At which point a normal person would look down, see their ta-tas, gasp, clutch their hands over their chest, and skittle away. Unless they were on drugs. Then they’d probably keep wandering around, looking for that magic caterpillar that brought them the nice lunch yesterday.
Britney still wants K-Fed back and is said to have told him that she doesn’t want him to have any more children without her. She’s recommended that he get a vesectomy to rule out any possibility of future Federlines, and was willing to get her tubes tied if he agreed. Kevin has a new girlfriend, Colin Farrel’s sex tape co-star and former playmate Nicole Narain. Britney is said to be worried that super-potent K-Fed is going to get her pregnant too, and has volunteered to pay for the cost of surgical sterilization. As Kevin is said to have told her, it’s not like he’s the one who needs to get fixed:
“After all that’s happened, Britney still wants to get back with Kevin - and she certainly doesn’t want him having any more children with anyone else,” said a source close to her.
“Britney even offered to pay for the vasectomy and promised to get her tubes tied if Kevin agreed to it. She told him: ‘You have four. You don’t need any more. Please think about it.’”
But Kevin - who has two boys with Britney, plus a son and daughter with ex-girlfriend, actress Shar Jackson - just laughed off Brit’s request, said the source.
“Kevin won’t get a vasectomy but thinks it’s a great idea for Britney to get her tubes tied. He told her: ‘Hell, no! No one is snipping me!’ He wants more Federlines,” said the source.
[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 3, 2007]
It seems like Britney does shit just about every day that defies explanation, and this is uncharacteristically sane, if not selfish, of her. Kevin is not an ideal parent, but he’s a much better one than she is, even if his primary motivation initially seemed to be cash.
The FedEx can be seen on the cover of Details Magazine this month, where he’s lauded as number seven out of the top 45 men of the year. K-Fed and Larry Birkhead were named fathers of the year. Perez Hilton is also featured, so maybe it’s all tongue in cheek.
Header image of Britney pregnant with Sean Preston is thanks to Splash News.
Karaoke chanteuse and former publisher Judith Regan turned down a $6.5 million settlement from her former employer HarperCollins, we learned a few too many words into today's Observer cover storyHer lawyer says she found that number "unacceptable," but is Judy really motivated by a desire for more wrongful-termination money? Based on the nutty scope of her suit (bringing down Rudy Giuliani! etc) and its timing, this article posits, it seems like she's more concerned with grabbing the spotlight than the cash. Also, this is confusing: in Judith's article about herself in Harper's Bazaar, she claims that she wants her "life to get smaller now, not bigger." So why is she now doing the most attention-getting stuff possible? Hey, is Judith Regan, like, crazy or something?
DUH, YES. See: "Probably my finest skill relates to art directing the process, which includes the design, the marketing, and the sales. The books on my list were so beautifully designed, I used to take art direction credits under a pseudonym--I didn't want anyone to know. And I had the best art director in the business."
And she's recording an album! God, what can't this woman do!
Also, throughout the article, a "source with knowledge of her thinking" is quoted. We aren't exactly sure who this person is, but wow. What a terrible knowledge to have.
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Nicole Richie stopped by traffic school yesterday to take care of some court-ordered business stemming from her DUI last year, with her faithful fiancee Joel Madden by her sidde for support. Despite the circumstances which led to her enrollment, we actually think these pictures are incredibly encouraging - who doesn't love the story of a mother giving up on her wild ways in favor of handling their business in a mature manner?
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We're also duly impressed by the dedication Nicole's showing by taking care of her traffic school in the advanced state of pregnancy she's in!
From the mailbag: "at Milberg Weiss, Judith Regan has just filed a defamation lawsuit against Harper Collins, NewsCorp. and Jane Friedman." Looks like Judith is making good on the promise she made back in January, getting it in under the wire before the statute of limitations ran out. Brace for crazy!
Heather Mills has been offered a lot of advice, not much of which she seems to be taking. I’m thinking about turning her journey of divorce into a book and titling it “How To F**k Up Your Divorce and Get Nothing, Just Like You Deserve You Crazy One-Legged Bitch”. Now, it may seem harsh to make a rude comment on someone’s disability, but she claims her husband did it…
“There are other recordings Heather says prove Paul referred to her as a ‘one-legged bitch,’” says a friend of Mills’. “She’s hoping this shows people what she’s had to put up with, and will let the public make up their own mind about who was to blame for their split.”
“Heather insists these tape recordings are crucial for her future. She’s been branded a liar so many times, and has a massive point to prove,” another source says.
She was making recordings of her life with Paul McCartney in anticipation of their divorce, which somehow I doubt were to store as memories but rather to use as leverage in their settlement. These might prove she’s not a liar, but it doesn’t seem to say anything good about her character.
According to reports in the New York Daily News, Paul McCartney will now only be dating women of means. Since McCartney is meant to be worth over a billion dollars, maybe the queen would be a woman of appropriate substance? Rumoured flame Nancy Shevell is independently wealthy, but perhaps a more sensible idea would be to have an iron-clad pre-nuptial agreement.
Note by Celebitchy: I think Heather Mills either started a new psychiatric drug or recently went off the meds she was on. She is seriously unhinged, and she may be well groomed but she’s not sane. It’s not even funny anymore.
Here she is in March campaigning for PETA to save the mother pigs and their piglets from farrowing crates, which are small metal enclosures that mother pigs are put in after they give birth. They are supposed to prevent the mother from crushing the piglets, which would not happen if the pigs were given adequate space, so they’re not needed in non-factory conditions and seem particularly cruel. In close conditions, though, they do prevent piglet death. I was going to make fun of her for this, but then I actually read about it and felt sorry for the pigs. If I keep doing research like this I’m going to end up a vegetarian, which isn’t a bad thing, as long as I don’t get all smug like Heather.
Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.
Few things in life piss me off more than really bad Italian food. And apparently that’s the one thing Amy Winehouse and I have in common… well that and unnecessarily big hair. Before her disastrous performance at the MTV Europe Awards last week, Snoop Dogg, the show’s host, decided to pay a visit to Amy. Snoop is nothing if not polite that way. When he got there, he witnessed a scene so bizarre that it freaked even him out – and you know Snoop has seen some crazy shiznit in his day. Amy was throwing spaghetti bolognese all over the walls of her dressing room, cutting up the rug, and hurling whatever she could get her hands on. Which leaves me to wonder: diva, or drugs? Or a diva on drugs?
Amy Winehouse went on the warpath before the MTV Europe Music Awards in Munich last week and caused thousands of pounds’ worth of damage to her dressing room. The Camden caner was armed and dangerous - with a plate of spaghetti bolognese that she picked up and threw over the walls. Angry Amy lobbed anything she could get her hands on - fruit, tables and chairs. And then she turned on the rug in her dressing room at the Olympiahalle, and cut it to shreds.
Legendary party king Snoop Dogg, who had dropped in to visit the beehive-haired diva before the show, was shell-shocked at the carnage. A member of his entourage told me: “An hour and a half before the show, Snoop said he wanted to see Amy. When we got there, she was in a right state. Everyone, including her management, just stood there as she lobbed spaghetti up the walls. It went on for about five minutes - with her kicking the walls and throwing whatever she could get her hands on - even the tables and the chairs. Then she started cutting up the rug. Snoop was just standing there open-mouthed. He was pretty freaked out by it and didn’t want to hang out with her after that.”
[From the Mirror]
When you’re too crazy for Snoop Dogg, you’re too crazy to live. I had a lot of evidence prior to this that Amy Winehouse was likely going to end up dead by the end of the year. I mean she’s got to be the most self-destructive celebrity of the last twenty years, and often makes Britney Spears look like a kitten. Britney has yet to go running through the streets in bloody ballet shoes with cuts on her face… that I know of. Even after overdosing and walking out of rehab, Amy is still having drug dealers bring packages to the windows of her apartment – with paparazzi around. All those things made me worry for her. But Snoop Dogg thinking you’re crazy messed up? Thinking you’re so mental he doesn’t even want to hang out with you and snort a little blow? That’s practically like a psychiatrist saying you’re as good as dead.
Picture note by Jaybird: Here’s Wino accepting her award at the MTV Europe Awards on November 1st. Header is Snoop Dogg hosting the event. Images thanks to WENN.
In the yet-to-be written history of women and lesbians who've done important things during what they used to call the AIDS crisis—Rebecca Brown, who wrote the best book to date about AIDS, Terry McGovern, who founded the HIV Law Project, basically the whole staff of the staff of the Center for HIV Law and Policy—has there been any greater hero than this week's Modern Love columnist, Virginia A. Smith?
For what seems like a century, Virginia has been desperate to reproduce. But something terrible happened! Every gay guy whose seed she wanted to steal kept getting the AIDS! Finally she met this guy at church 17 years ago and on the very first day she met him she asked him to impregnate her. And he was like "Great!" and they became best friends.
But he was brand-new to New York! And so she'd see him cruising guys and she'd be all "DON'T DO IT! IF YOU HAVE SEX WITH THE MEN, YOU WILL NOT THEN BE ABLE TO IMPREGNATE ME." Except apparently she never said anything to him? (This is okay, because according to today's Times corrections, apparently some people think that AIDS began in 1990 and ended in 1995. Heh.)
Then she found out he was sleeping with one of an AIDS-having friend's boyfriends??? Suddenly her baby-daddy was not attractive to her. "I had a vision of his healthy face desiccating before my eyes until every last piece of flesh had sunk into bone."
So then she did what any American hero would do. She stopped speaking to him totally. And never told him why.
This is exactly the kind of powerful, assholish first-person writing we have come to expect from Modern Love.
A decade and a half later, apparently the guy has not become a desiccated corpse, and is doing fine on the other coast, except for today, because he's probably just read Modern Love and thought, "Wow, that woman was fucking crazy and this is the most passive-aggressive non-apology for being shut out of someone's life that I have ever been subjected to!"
So basically these days, if you wanna go to the loony bin, you just rip off your clothes and go to 42nd Street. Just three weeks ago, Josh Drimmer did it. Last night, some dude came down from White Plains and disrobed. Says the Post: "'By the time he got to Times Square, he was naked,' an NYPD spokesman said. After being apprehended next to a vendor's cart marked NUTS 4 NUTS , he was taken to Bellevue Hospital."
TIMES SQ. NUDE DUDE: PART 2 [New York Post]
Just in time for Halloween, New York Press sex columnist Kelly Krethtells us which writers and "writers" she'd like to bone next, now that already notched loser- director-pervert Eric Schaeffer on her lipstick case. We read this so now you have to, too: "James Frey... I want to curl my tongue around yours like the southern drawl does the tango with yours. I want to be your drug. Snort me, inhale me, shove me up your nose, up your ass, swallow me, digest me; you will not have to drive to Harlem to try to score. I want to search your face for scars and lick them when I find them. I want you to bite me with those altered teeth as hard as you can. I want you to guzzle some of my blood and wear the rest like a coat. Big Jim, will you be my dime bag? I'd go down dirty alleys and go down on you in them." Also: "He's that guy, the one who will lie to get into your pants." Well, yes.
Apparently Maximilia "Ava" Cordero, formerly Maximillian, who has claimed that maybe-millionaire money-manager Jeffrey Epstein had sex with her when she was (by New York law) underage but after she became a woman, which is very tricky, has had her lawyer-lover amend her complaint! It's pretty out there: "Epstein suddenly went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later wearing red lipstick and wearing a matted red wig. He said to plaintiff 'Call me Janice'."
Epstein: 'Call Me Janice' [Radar]
Jeffrey Chodorow, the insane Tevye of the New York restaurant scene, is opening another of his overwrought hyperbolic restaurants. Chodorow is close to signing a lease in the Empire Hotel (up at Broadway and 63rd) for his newest restaurant. We already have half-assed ninja shtick at Kobe Club, golden sperm gestalt at Wild Salmon and the nostalgic outer boroughs idyll of Borough. What odd theme will Chodorow tap next? We bet it has to do with unicorns but it's really up to you.
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Tom Cruise is laying out plans to build a huge underground bunker at his Telluride, Colorado estate. It will have a state of the art air purification system and will be large enough with enough equipment and supplies for at least ten people to survive for years. That’s not crazy or anything.
Devout Scientologist Tom Cruise plans to build a $10 million bunker under his Telluride, Colorado, mansion, a source tells Star! Equipped with a high tech air-purifying system, “it’s a self-contained underground system where up to 10 people can survice for years.” Apparently, Scientologists believe that the evil deposed galatic [sic] ruler Xenu is set to attack Earth, and they’ll need a safe place to survive.
[From Star Magazine, print edition, October 1, 2007]
According to the drug-fueled ramblings of Scientology’s founder, L Ron Hubbard, there was a big attack 75 million years ago in which this Xenu guy made billions of people line up by volcanoes and terminated them with hydrogen bombs. All of our problems stem from this one incident, claim Scientologists, and our memories and psychological problems are made up of the fractured souls of the people who were killed. We would all have god-like knowledge and ability if only we could free ourselves of the trauma of that event. This is something that Scientologists are brainwashed to believe they have achieved once they surrender enough time, money, common sense and free will. Only when they reach the highest level of the cult, or Operating Thetan 3, are Scientologists told the story about the volcano genocide, but thanks to the wonder of the Internet you get it for free.
I wasn’t able to dig up much about Scientology’s teachings on the end of the world, and maybe you can help shed some light onto this matter. According to Wikipedia, Xenu is supposedly trapped in an alternate universe forever, kind of like those three villains stuck under glass and floating in space in the Superman movie. He could come back though, and only the super rich deluded folks like Cruise and Travolta will be prepared.
Concern for the survival of one’s family in the event of a nuclear attack or massive world war is only natural, and maybe if I had a quarter of a billion dollars I would consider setting up a giant underground bunker too. I really doubt it though. The only preparations I made on December 31, 1999 were getting an outfit and having my nails done for a New Year’s party. Stockpiling water and supplies for the millennium just wasn’t high on my to-do list.
Maybe if Cruise could pop some lithium every day he wouldn’t be so worried about the end of the world. Along with providing ease of mind and more stable moods, it would be a hell of a lot cheaper, too. L Ron Hubbard must have realized that prescription medication would help his most devoted followers figure out what bullshit he was preaching, so he decided to make psychiatrists enemy number one. The guy was crazy like a fox.
In other Tom Cruise news, he has been given permission by the German government to film scenes for his Nazi hero movie Valkyrie at the Bendlerblock building, a World War II historic site. The German government was initially reluctant to grant permission to film there due to concern for the preservation of the site. A minute of silence was observed at the location this weekend before filming began.
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are shown leaving an Italian restaurant in Berlin on Thursday. Thanks to WENN for these pictures. All details about Scientology from Operation Clambake and Wikipedia.
I’m not going to say that it actually sucks to be Britney Spears – I means she’s got money, fame, a decent amount of talent if she’d actually use it properly… but it’s got to suck a little bit, at least lately. There definitely aren’t as many people that’d be willing to trade live with her as there used to be. Brit had a pretty crappy day yesterday: the surprise secret witness (who wasn’t as exciting as we’d all hoped – who else was pulling for Perry the manny?), former bodyguard Tony Barretto, submitted a sealed declaration about Brit’s drug use, nudity, and “safety issues” involving his sons – all post rehab. Brit’s lawyers chose not to cross-examine him, which shocked Barretto’s lawyer, Gloria Allred. Does anyone else think it’s really weird that someone so non-famous chose Allred as his lawyer? I mean he’s no Amber Frey, what’s he hoping to get from this?
We don’t yet know how specific the allegations are (ie did he see Brit high or did he see her with a needle in her arm?) but hopefully, they’ll be unsealed or leaked at some point. I say hopefully because we’ll have a field day with them. I think the drug use and nudity have all been pretty obvious – I mean the girl can’t keep her undies on in public, why in the world would she bother in private? But I am curious about the specific allegations involving “safety issues” relating to the kids, and those seem the most urgent to me. Apparently “Spears hired Barretto when she left a rehabilitation facility in March but fired him May 17 because ‘he didn’t hear her when she asked him to pick up her hat,’ Allred said,” according to the Associated Press.
“A former bodyguard for Britney Spears went to court Monday to support a sealed declaration about questionable behavior by the pop star in a child-custody dispute between the singer and ex-husband Kevin Federline — but never got to testify.
“Tony Barretto, 28, arrived with a lawyer but Family Court Commissioner Scott M. Gordon held only a brief open session before clearing the courtroom of everyone but attorneys for Spears and Federline to privately discuss unsealing documents in the ongoing case. Outside court, Barretto’s attorney Gloria Allred issued a statement calling him a “key and secret witness.”
“We are shocked that Ms. Spears’ attorneys chose not to cross-examine our client as to the substance of his declaration,” Allred said. “Our client was prepared to testify on issues of nudity by Ms. Spears, drug use, and safety issues involving the children post-rehab.”
[From the Associated Press]
So all around, not the best situation for Britney. L.A. County’s Department of Children and Family Services, which had closed their investigation into Britney’s parenting, appears to be involved in the case again, though to what extent remains unclear.
In matters professional (and I used that word loosely when describing Britney Spears) Brit’s brand-new manager, Jeff Kwatinetz, fired Spears and got the hell out of dodge.
“Manager Jeff Kwatinetz of the Firm dumped Spears as a client after just one month of repping her. ‘It saddens us to confirm media reports that we have terminated our professional relationship with Britney Spears,’ the management company said. ‘We believe Britney is enormously talented, and has made a terrific record. But current circumstances have prevented us from properly doing our job. We wish Britney the best.’
“Like Wasser, Kwatinetz reportedly had issues with Spears’ decision making. The move comes just a week after Spears’ Video Music Awards flameout. Regardless, Spears’ label, Jive Records, says the behind-the-scenes maneuvers won’t affect her ballyhooed comeback album. ‘The label does not comment on artist/management relations. We’re gearing up for a Nov. 13 album release date,’ the label said.”
[From E! News]
Let’s break down what they were really saying:
“‘It saddens [relieves] us to confirm media reports [fuel the fire] that we have terminated [gotten the hell away] our professional relationship [“working girl”] with Britney Spears [drunken train wreck]. We believe Britney is enormously [vaguely] talented [bullshit], and has made a terrific [shitastic] record. But current circumstances [she tried to eat our cat] have prevented us from properly doing our job [the cat yowled and we realized it sounded better than Britney’s new album]. We wish Britney the best [as long as she stays the hell away from us. And our cat].’”
So I think that pretty much sums up Britney’s current circumstances. She does drugs naked while her kids sit in the bathtub alone drinking bubbles while she eats cats. Really, at this point, would that be all that shocking? Maybe a little, but not at all surprising. Britney, I’m no longer going to tell you to get your act together, because that’s clearly not going to happen. But I have the number of a nice, spa-like asylum that has some restraints with your name on them.
Legal Disclosure: By reading this article that you’ve already read, you agree to acknowledge that Britney Spears doesn’t really eat cats. Most likely. If you lack a sense of humor and/or are one of Britney’s lawyers, you must agree to hold harmless the writer. She will compensate your client with a lifetime supply of Cheetos.
Picture note by JayBird: Header image of Tony Baretto, back when he was working for Britney in May. Images thanks to WENN.
A review of the cover story in the September Harper's: "I'd love to be able to summarize the 11-page piece for you, but given the author's penchant for language like 'wielding bathymetry collected by its petroleum directorate' I'll have to give up, and say that Mr. (or Ms.??) Mr. Funk's previous article in Harper's, 'I was a Chinese Internet Addict' sounds like a lot more fun." [MediaPost]
Photoshop composite from Planet Hiltron
Getting coked up, commandeering an SUV, engaging in a high speed chase, and having police draw their guns on you are just part of an average evening out for Lindsay Lohan, but it turns out the people being chased weren’t such big fans of the whole experience. The passenger is the car Lohan hunted down last month has filed a lawsuit against the sorta actress. Praise Jebus! I wonder if you can get served at a rehab facility?
“Lindsay Lohan was sued Tuesday for assault and negligence by a woman who was a passenger in a car the actress is accused of chasing while under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Lohan ‘put me through one of the most frightening experiences of my life,’ Tracie Rice said in a statement after the lawsuit was filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court.
“’What Miss Lohan did that night was extremely dangerous and reprehensible. Someone could easily have been killed or seriously hurt because of her irresponsible decisions that evening,’ Rice said. The lawsuit also alleges intentional infliction of emotional distress. It seeks unspecified damages and also payment of medical and other expenses related to emotional distress.”
[From the Associated Press]
Not that a coked-out, crazed Lindsay Lohan isn’t infliction of emotional distress in and of herself, but thanks to Lohan’s unbalanced and dangerous behavior, they all ended up with guns pointed at them. That’s certainly traumatizing.
“The lawsuit doesn’t provide a reason for the chase. However, two men who claim they were unwilling passengers in the car driven by Lohan have said she was upset with the daughter of Michelle Peck. Peck was driving the vehicle carrying Rice. Rice ‘was convinced that their lives were in danger and that they had to outrun the pursuing car or they might be killed,’ the lawsuit said.
“Peck finally drove through a barricade and into the parking lot at the Santa Monica Civic Center next to police headquarters and the sport utility vehicle followed, the lawsuit said. Rice got out and ran toward police officers and saw a woman, who turned out to be Lohan, run from the SUV toward her, she contended. ‘Police officers approached all of them with guns drawn,’ the lawsuit said. Lohan was arrested a short time later.”
[From the Washington Post]
That must have been incredibly frightening, and I’m very sorry Ms. Rice had to go through that. But I have to admit the thought of a bunch of cops pointing their guns at Lindsay is the least she deserved that night. I hope it scared her like she scared all those passengers and motorists. I wonder how many of the other people involved that night will sue her? It seems like they’ve all got a pretty good case against her. Rageaholic actress steals car with two passengers already in it, refuses to let them out, chases the mother of her former assistant through L.A. at high speeds, and ends up getting arrested and testing positive for alcohol and drugs. I’m no lawyer, but considering Lohan’s well documented destruction, I’m guessing they’d all have cases. I really hope she gets served in rehab. She needs to actually understand that there are real consequences for her actions. Plus, the image of Lohan scrubbing toilets while being given legal papers will help me sleep a little better tonight.