
He doesn't want you to know that he spent the evening at Jennifer Aniston's house, begging her to indulge his sissy schoolgirl transformation fantasy. Look, I only call it as I see it. You know he's got knee-high socks and a plaid miniskirt in his closet. And Jenn isn't the one he wants wearing them.
And when John isn't being an insufferable douche, he's wrecking everyone's favorite video game. He was recently asked for his opinion about Guitar Hero. I know several hundred thousand people who have spent countless hour enraptured by that game. And John just pissed all over it! Those people have wasted valuable time for nothing! They could have gone to work!
"I don't ever want to be the kind of guy who rails against whatever progress has taken place. But Guitar Hero was devised to bring the guitar-playing experience to the masses without them having to put anything into it. And having done both, there's nothing like really playing guitar. I mean, what would you rather drive, a Ferrari or one of those amusement-park cars on a track?"
All those people who have slaved away unlocking song after song, and ignoring everything but that damn plastic guitar are quite happy with "amusement-park cars on a track", John! Damn you!




