Sultry beach hero hottie set to save journalism! [NYDN]
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Don't you wish there was a magic pill you could take when you go to bed that would make you wake up on time, feeling refreshed, without an alarm clock? Well according to medical science, there is no such thing. Sorry. But according to 37 year-old mom of three Cathy Beggan from New Jersey, her special time-release blend of herbs and vitamins can do just that. And a Daily News reporter says they really work, science be damned!
I decided to try the pills for myself. Just before hitting the sack, I took two of the rather horsy pills. Sure enough, about seven hours later, my eyes popped open. With an unusual and almost alarming degree of lucidity, I walked into the kitchen and started my morning coffee ritual, then realized that I didn't need it...I tried the pill a second time, with even more dramatic results. Deliriously exhausted, I went to bed at midnight, and made the classic mistake of setting the alarm for 7 p.m. instead of 7 a.m. About four hours later, I was awoken by a loud swarm of fighting stray cats in my backyard. They kept me up for about an hour before I could fall back asleep. Despite the interruption, and the fact that my alarm never went off, I still woke up at 7:30, and got out of bed after just a few minutes. This was huge.
So, it has what you might term "testimonial evidence" on its side. But what do the scientists say?
"I don't know of anything that indicates that these ingredients are helpful in improving daytime function when taken at night," warns Dr. Gary Zammit, director of the Sleep Disorder Institute in Manhattan and clinical associate professor at Columbia University."To my knowledge," says Zammit, "the best way that we can feel fully refreshed is to ensure that we've had an adequate sleep period. There's no herb or vitamin that can replace that."
Why not spend $30 and buy them here, then let us know how they work? You can always sue if you need to.
The ongoing quest to make personal finance interesting to average schlubs is not just confined to the internet or television; the Daily News gets into the act today with its own celebrity-infused financial advisory articles that may or may not contain sound advice [NYDN]. First, the paper lets us know what to do with our upcoming national tax refunds: Splurge! They come to this conclusion by asking the most obvious personal finance experts: Rich people!
CNBC "Money Honey" Maria Bartiromo says she is a "big saver," but that she feels entitled to go ahead and splurge with her $600 from the government, because "Everybody deserves a treat." This is a good perspective, as long as your salary meets or exceeds hers.
An art director says he's buying a flatscreen; a lawyer is going for a new laptop and a piano. The only one who says she will paying down debt with her refund? An editor. Figures.
[Also, in what may be the tenuous connection champion of the year, the paper illustrates a story on flex spending claims with a picture of Tom Cruise and a caption reading, "Tom Cruise could have saved some bucks on his braces with a flex spending account." Well done.]
Since January 20-- the day the New York Giants won a trip to the Super Bowl-- the New York Post has run 281 articles with the phrase "Super Bowl," an average of 20 freaking stories per day. Today, in addition to the daily 20, the Post also published a 32-page special pullout section on the game, and a wraparound cover with a team picture. The Daily News responded with its own 40-page special section that swallowed the entire Sunday paper, covering up other minor news like, you know, the paper's presidential endorsement (spoiler: Hillary). As a serious football fan who is gonna jet out of here pretty soon to go watch the game, I can only say: Thank God this shit is almost over.
The Giants in the Super Bowl has been a TRAIN WRECK for our local tabloids. Not for the sports reporters; this lets the ones on the football beat stretch out a few more weeks of actual news, and gets them a free trip to the irrigated deserts of Arizona. But the damn game has forced its way into the news hole in such a way that the real stories that the Post and the Daily News should be covering-- Baby kidnappings, rat infestations, sex scandals, and blood spillage-- have been squeezed into minor slots on the inside pages. Just look at the important events that were shamefully left off the covers of the two papers today:
"I'm dying & you want $5?"
"Guard gets sucker punch, heart attack"
"GHOULISH GARAGE SALE"
"Ivy League scam gal nabbed"
And, good lord: A cemetery worker almost got buried alive when a grave he was digging collapsed around him. That was only good for 200 words from the Daily News? It's the New York Giants' fault that I don't know how that man's wife felt, how his neighbors feel, and how he felt in his harrowing moments beneath the surface. It's enough to break your heart.
Nobody really cares about Mike Lupica's unedited hyperbole about the biggest game in New York history. Nobody really wants to read thousands of words about the Giants' 41-year-old punter, and whether his wife is worried about his health. What we want is a big, front page photo of a cemetery worker clawing his way out of a newly collapsed grave in a Farmingdale boneyard. And a good headline about zombies.
Daily News gossip/lovers Rush and Molloy tell the entertaining story of a careless food critic who left her notebook at newly-refurbished Brasserie 44. Waiters at Brasserie 44 at the Royalton Hotel thought they'd made the catch of the day last week when they found a mystery diner's notebook. When they peeked inside to determine the owner, they realized it could only belong to a restaurant critic. What's more, the notes were so sophisticated, they reasoned it must belong to Frank Bruni, culinary arbiter of The New York Times.Of course it wasn't Bruni's who doesn't make a habit of leaving his notes at the places he reviews. The call, it turns out, was coming from inside the building.A careful reader of the Daily News will notice that our favorite critic Danyelle Freeman just so happens to review Brasserie 44 in today's paper. And with prose "so sophisticated" like "sequestered deep inside the belly of the hotel, Brasserie 44 is strangely adrift in a veritable abyss" it's no mystery whose notebook was lost. Adrift! Veritable! Sequester! Abyss! That does sound sophisticated. But perhaps the best part of the Rush and Molloy item is the creepiest part at the end.
[F]ood and beverage manager John Cassanos tells us, "I thought it would be a great idea for a play, to have a restaurateur murder a critic before the review comes out."Woah! Cassanos, totally the new Peter Braunstein.
The Daily News is gracing us today with the story of the Upper East Side's best doorman, voted as such by the residents he watches over at 460 E. 79th Street. "There isn't another doorman like Steve, and we're keeping him," says one. "He's part of the family here," another tells the News. Yeah, we totally make our 81-year-old relatives carry our bags and deliver our packages too!
The Daily News may not turn a profit this year, according to owner Mort Zuckerman, who told a British Parliamentary group studying the media in September that the news business is "a glorious way to lose money." In fact, in minutes from Zuckerman's meeting with the group obtained by Portfolio's Jeff Bercovici, Zuckerman paints a less than rosy picture of how the News is doing. Circulation figures and ad dollars are down, an advertising office in Detroit has been closed and so have all twelve of U.S. News & World Report's foreign bureaus. The New York Post is a "non-economic competitor," according to Zuckerman, meaning that the Post can afford to undercut the rival News by spreading out any losses around NewsCorp properties, something the smaller News can't do. In fact, Zuckerman's comments to the committee have a distinct smoke signals feel; could he be making overtures to potential buyers out there? Given who pointed out the Portfolio item to us&mdash Mort Zuckerman himself—we're going to go with 'probs.'
New York is depressing again! After years of relative safety and fun (and occasional terror), tourists across the nation are now flocking to New York City to entwine themselves forever with oblivion. According to the Daily News, more than 10% of New York's suicides are committed by out-of-towners— 407 of them from 1990-2004.
Our buildings are tall and we have a large number of bridges, so it's natural that "jumping from a height is more common in New York than in the rest of the United States," as a report from the New York Academy of Medicine says.
In the rest of the country, people tend to do kill themselves in the privacy of their own homes, but as usual, New York attracts the attention-seeking and the egotistical, and then crushes their narcissistic dreams by forcing them to confront the oppressive anonymity of their own insignificance. Or something. That helpful and macabre graphic from the News explains it much better.
Some 'tourists' choose city landmarks for suicide [NYDN]