Yesterday you guys were pretty torn about the gold digger who's leaving her man now that the money is gone. Someone said Granny and Jed Clampett, which was funny. Ah well. Today we have an actress on a two month long coke bender, a gay singer who had some too-rough sex overseas, a paparazzi hungry actress, and a celeb who's going to giver her baby the craziest name ever.
1) "Which US actress has been trying to mend her recently broken heart with a two-month cocaine bender? Her entourage fear constant sniffing and weight-loss will lead to grief." [Mirror]
2) "This openly gay singer has spent some time overseas. When I say overseas, I mean not in his home country wherever that may be. Anyway, it turns out that our singer got into some trouble recently. Not the kind of trouble you would expect, but more of the, "crap this is going to cost me big." Our singer has always had a bit of a violent streak when it comes to his sex life. He knows this and only participates with people who are aware of it and can handle it. Never been a problem until now. Seems that while overseas he took a liking to someone who was ill prepared for the experience and ended up in the hospital for several days. The person he took a liking too was barely legal. Hell, might not have even been legal. It took a massive monetary bribe to make his parents go away, and not press charges. It took another massive bribe to keep the one of the local papers from printing the story. Look for our singer to be playing a birthday party really really soon." [CDaN]
3) "Which now-pregnant celebrity is determined to give her baby the most talked-about baby name ever? The father wants the baby to have a normal name like his, and is furious that she is determined to give the baby a really stupid name simply for the attention it will generate. He should not be surprised, though, given that she spends a lot of time thinking up new ways to get press. The most recent iteration of the name consists of something you would buy from your butcher plus the town where they believe the baby was conceived. No, it’s not Prime Rib Pittsburgh, although that would actually be an improvement over the one she wants." [BlindGossip]
4) "This celebrity couple is breaking up, but not for the reasons that you will read. The truth is that she isn’t getting the attention she craves - from the paparazzi. The couple was photographed constantly in the beginning of their relationship, but attention has since waned, and thus her interest in the guy. She even considered having a baby to generate more attention, but instead decided to ditch him and start fresh. Her next beau - who has already been selected - will be someone who will generate that photo op buzz to which she is addicted. Her big decision now is whether to roll out the new guy now, or to wait until after New Year’s to take advantage of the slower news cycle. Yes, she is that calculating." [BlindGossip]

Yesterday you guys figured out that the 

Yesterday you guys thought that the
Good morning and happy Monday, dear friends. I may or may not have had a few drinks with the author of Gossip Girl over the weekend, so you'll excuse me if I quietly explode on the ground. While I'm doing that, you can entertain yourselves with blind items about a relapsed actress, a too-grabby actor, and, yes, a secretly gay actor. Shock! 
Everyone thought that yesterday's 

Yesterday you guys thought that the actor who got 

I am back from vacation! I don't know why I'm exclamation marking that, because it's actually just kind of depressing! In honor of my return there is a blind item bonanza after the jump. We have a Lehman Brothers wife going on a shopping spree, a billionaire trying to sex it in the bathroom, PageSix using cutesy quotation marks to describe gay marriage!!!!!, one about Scarlett Johansson probably, and a bunch about some other people. Read them and discuss while I lie here on the floor, dreaming ever still of California! Sob! 

So, have you all signed up to feed the homeless, tutor a child, and read to the blind thanks to your lingering Obamamania? No. No you haven't. Instead you sit poised to judge the secret foibles of others, which, let's face it, is the right thing to do, because your clicks translate into solid American jobs in this shaky economy. The true patriots: you. Today in blind items, a celebrity chef who's cheating on his wife, a celebrity who hilariously misunderstands "democracy," and a paranoid singer secretly trailing her man:
Did you expect that celebrities would all turn their attention to the election last night, and therefore the tabloids would refrain from printing scurrilous blind items on this day of historic import? You foolish, foolish bastard. Gossip does not "Change," nor does it "Hope." After the jump, an actor with a secret history of sexual assault, a fading socialite, a singer with dandruff, and a (possibly flack-concocted) item about the nicest actress in the whole wide world:
Good morning! WHICH gossip blog editor who usually writes the blind items post went on vacation, and may or may not still be passed out from last night's unknown debaucheries? (IT'S RICHARD). Nevertheless, we're not going to let you, the public, go a single day without semi-slanderous thinly veiled celebrity gossip items to project your own insecurities upon. After the jump, a coke-sniffing wife of an athlete, a socialite's sister with two degrees of sexual separation from OJ Simpson, and a starlet who hates her "faux boyfriend." 
So basically you guys figured that yesterday's 