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Heidi Klum who has the best Halloween parties in Hollywood, dressed up as Tom Cruise in Risky Business to sell Guitar Hero World Tour. And I am sure there will be a lot of boys buying Guitar Hero now just from that ad…yeah right boys love their Guitar Hero, it is men who will buying it because of that ad.
These are my favortie 5 costumes from last night. Kyle McLaughlin as a tanorexic, Pink as a rag doll, Bette Midler as a butcher, James Van Der Beek because he looks awful and finally Heid Klum who always goes all out for Halloween!!!
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Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein. Today we will be discussing Project Runway, Harvey Weinstein's ailing reality television show that has to do with fashion and the human heart. Last night was that show's finale.
The fifth has been a brutal bruising hurricane season of Project Runway, full of tempests and tulle. Wednesday nights have ended typically in disgust and the nausea of knowing you've partaken in something unclean. For me and many of you—-you too, Joe the Plumber—the finale was a relief, not just because the winner deserved the honor of victory but because finally this sad vessel of Saturn and spite has finally found port and won't trouble our waters any longer.
Gloom aside, though the season offered the most meager of heroes and the most grating of personalities, the runway collections, I think, were some of the best of all the seasons. Kenley's collection was full of color and ruffles and managed to cull from her the best of her personality (color and ruffles) and not the worst (underminery cheesefaced bitch!) Korto's collection, as MIchael Kors correctly pointed out, managed to incorporate her ethnicity whilst not avoiding the costumey. The rich deciduous green Korto used for her signature look, a spin on a classic halter top, was arresting yet not jarring. And Leanne. I'm no petal pusher or concept slut. But her Wave Collection effortlessly wed a clear, concise and fertile concept with aesthetic beauty and wearability. It is only fitting that Leanne won. Her collection embodied the craft of Korto while adding the intellectual rigor of Comme Des Garcons, Rick Owens, Martin Margiela and other successful avant garde houses. It was only Kenley's collection that, upon closer inspection, fails in terms of ideas (there were none), craftmanship (capable but not outstanding) and originality (Balenciaga Spring 2008, Ready To Wear).
Leanne deserved to win not only for her collection but for her response to Heidi's query, "Why do you deserve to win?" Korto reverted to tautology. "I deserve to win," she seemed to say, "because I am worthy of winning." Useless. She did cry. Kenley, who also cried and whose voice warbled like the black-throated green warbler she is, said something (I think though again this is just a guess) about how she has personality and came to New York with personality and that she is capable of doing much more than what she did. She basically admitted that though what she has done thus far doesn't warrant victory, what she might do in the future does. It is no surprise that the judges decided not to award her a current trophy for something she has yet to accomplish. Only Leanne answered the question forthrightly with rock solid reasons and aplomb. "I'm innovative," she said, which is true. "Half of my fabrics are sustainable." Nailed it. She fucking nailed it.
Never having to hear Kenley's voice again gives one the same sense of relief after having moved from a fifth floor walk up for two years into an elevator building. (A supposition. I'm still in the walkup.) Yet seeing her father in this final episode gives one a peek into perhaps why Kenley is annoying as she is. Her father, the tugboat captain, never smiled and looked, on the whole, as if he'd rather be on the deck of a ship somewhere. It's very unlikely that he noticed the rope details with which Kenley sought to bind herself and her work to him. No wonder she acts out for attention.
When shall we see Project Runway again? The future of the show is murky and doubtful, buffeted about by the superegos of Harvey and Lifetime. If and when the next season airs, we'll be asked to throw our emotional lot in with another group of eager contestants. We'll go through the motions of being depressed, outraged, confused and engaged. But just as surely as seasons change, leaves fall and Michael Kors grows cattier every day, so too does the utility and relevance of Project Runway diminish. We may see you all on the runway again but the real question is if we'll care.
Before I leave, I'd like to thank Mister Hippity, Richard Lawson and all those who have journeyed with us this season. It has been a pleasure and an honor to work beside and amongst you. Your dedication and perseverance in the face of a season with little to commend it is impressive, a boon to me, to our readers and to all who value a vital and honest exchange of ideas. And with that, auf Wiedersehen, I'm out.
Tonight is the Project Runway finale on Bravo at 10p and for the first time it is 3 women vying for the title. Who will it be Kenley, Leanne or Korto? Personally I don’t care, I am just excited to see Tim Gunn in the Judge’s chair filling in for J-Lo who pulled out of the show at the very last minute due to an “injury”.
Joining a bevy her her celebrity pals, Selena Gomez attended the St. Jude’s 5th Annual Runway For Life Benefit in Beverly Hills on Saturday evening (October 11).
Held at The Beverly Hilton Hotel, the “Wizards of Waverly Place” sweetheart greeted and posed with her young fans before mingling with an A-list crowd including Hilary and Haylie Duff, Jaime Pressly, as well as Jennifer Love Hewitt of “Ghost Whisperer” stardom.
So on last week’s Project Runway no one was eliminated and all 4 will go to Fashion Week, but only three of their designs will count because one will be eliminated before they walk the runway. So who do you think those 3 will be? I have no idea because anything can happen.
Find out who moves and who shows but doesn’t on tonight’s Project Runway at 10p on Bravo!
Enjoying a sunny morning out and about, Eva Longoria was spotted taking her family for a shopping spree in Beverly Hills on Tuesday (October 7).
Sporting a grey Omnipeace t-shirt with jeans and a Spurs cap, the “Desperate Housewives” hottie and the gang then made a stop for a little pampering, getting their nails done at a Hollywood salon.
With the news that fashion design reality fave Project Runway may not be airing on its new network, Lifetime, any time soon (because of a lawsuit between its current network, Bravo, their owner, NBC, and the Weinstein company, which produces the show), some may be wondering what the hell does this mean for the show. But I suspect that, like me, many of you have kind of stopped caring. Because the show has been pretty lackluster so far this season, and whenever the next iteration (the sixth go around) it's going to be on a crappier network and shot in Los Angeles, of all places. So really, NBC and Weinstein Company may be brattily fighting over a toy that's already been broken.
The lawsuit—filed by NBC/Universal, who say that TWC violated a first right of refusal agreement when they decided to switch to Lifetime—is only dredging up the uglier, more commercial side of the show, indicating that the product placement-crazed Weinstein Company (and implicitly its fearsome old leader, Harvey Weinstein) would have the cast members dressed up in NASCAR-esque sponsored jumpsuits if they could. There was something magical (like the Magical Elves, the show's talented production team, who won't follow the show to Lifetime) about the first few seasons. Here was a supremely entertaining show with enjoyable hosts and judges, that was also about actual talent, and that rewarded creativity and innovative thinking. Sure there was some producer tinkering (Wendy Pepper beats Austin Scarlett?), but for the most part the show held up a banner of integrity. It won a Peabody, for God's sake!
Which makes it so depressing to watch it slide into disrepair this season, with a questionably talented and too self-aware group of contestants and tired old challenges and obviously angry and frustrated judges. Bravo may have given up on this one because, heck, they were losing the show anyway, but it makes you wonder then why NBC is fighting so bitterly for it to return. The show isn't exactly fresh or new, it's six seasons old after all, with the sullied brand to show for it. Top Chef could be a serviceable (and younger) flagship show replacement for Bravo, right? Just let the grumpy old Weinstein Company ruin their show (incongruous location, new production team) and cram it into Lifetime's dim, uninteresting programming schedule. They'll basically hang themselves with their own taffeta rope.
This is probably the last season of Project Runway that I'll be watching, and I don't think I'm alone in that. Sure next season, whenever the hell it happens, will have Tim and Heidi and Michael and Nina and all that, but after all this bickering and tinkering and product placement and drama, I just doubt that anyone involved is going to feel that, in the end, the juice was worth the squeeze.
(photo from WireImage)
When Lifetime won the next season of Project, NBC went to court trying to stop the move saying they had the first rights to refuse the show. Well NBC won an injunction for the time being and Project Runway is not going to Lifetime next season as expected according to The Hollywood Reporter.
"NBC Universal is pleased that the court granted our motion for a preliminary injunction against the Weinstein Co.," NBC Uni said in a statement. "The overwhelming evidence demonstrated that the Weinstein Co. violated NBC Universal's right of first refusal to future cycles of 'Project Runway.' After hearing all of the evidence, the court issued an order prohibiting the Weinstein Co. from taking the show or any spinoff to Lifetime."Lifetime said in a statement: "We are disappointed with the court's decision to grant the preliminary injunction against the Weinstein Co. It's unfortunate that the people hurt most by this ongoing dispute are the loyal fans of 'Project Runway.' In the meantime, Lifetime will pursue all measures to uphold its valid and binding agreement reached with the Weinstein Co. for Season 6 of 'Project Runway.' "
I am bummed that it is not going to Lifetime next season because I was excited to see what they were going to do with the show. Especially after this season.
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Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein. Today I shall be writing about Bravo's Project Runway, much like Mister Hippity did hier. There are only five episodes left in the fifth season. Let's get started. Last night's episode the most interesting episode in Project Runway history. Well, from an ethnomusicology perspective and also from a rear perspective. Let's discard with pretense. Korto has a big ole butt and the many shots of it were among the most satisfying elements of this entire hohum season. Sadly it also smacked of end of the road desperation. Pick something from column A mix with column B and you have a challenge. It's like the The Great Automatic Grammatizator of reality television.
This episode's challenge was two fold: the remaining five contestants were forced to design outfits for each other but also use a musical genre (or gnnnra, as Mr. Gunn pronounced it) as inspiration. All this had the veneer of a stochastic process but in fact must have been calculated to bring shame and dishonor on the house of Kenley. Not that she has a problem bringing it on herself. Laxative for the soul Kenley was forced to design a hip hop outfit for the whitest kid u know Leanne Marshall whilst being dolled up as Britney Spears by Jor-El. Leanne meanwhile dressed Korto up in Kountry while Korto shoehorned Suede in a punk outfit and Suede dressed Jor-El in a rock-inspired outfit. Jor-El made Kenley look like Britney Spears.
The points of obvious glee were premised on two things: black people don't play or like country music so it was innately funny to see Korto dressed up as Dolly Parton and try to line dance. Also Kenley, as a cipher for whiteys everywhere, has no idea what hip hop is. Unfortunately, or fortunately, neither is true. It's also irrelevant structurally that Korto doesn't like country music. She only had to pull off the outfit as a model and Jesuslordchristonacross, she did that with elan. Her ass is like a big oak fireplace mantle and I love it. It's like a funhouse mirror in the best way possible. When she walked down that runway, all the real world exigencies faded to background noise. There was no economic crises anymore, just Korto and her lovely behind. MOVING ON!!!
I think it should suffice to say that Kenley is truly a bad and mean thing. She's disrespectful to Tim which is simply inacceptable. I'm happy he called her out on it. She whines. She's all up in Leanne's bidness and still can't get her jeans in order. She's defensive and dismissive of hip hop and hip hop style. She's hubristic and at the same time provincial. Flowers aren't graffiti, you asshole. You aren't Jesus, hip hop is not oversized and do not—DO NOT—try to argue with LL Cool J because he will knock you out!
Poor Suede, sent home and all dolled up like Chris Gaines at a rave. He didn't deserve to be sent home this episode. It shoulda been Kenley obvi. The vision of rock n' roll that the judges have—-and punk for that matter—is dated and specific. People who dress like how they want rockers to look make bad music. Their names are Scott Weiland. Suede's look was only middling but compared to Kenley's automatic hip-enhancing shitpile of an outfit, it was revolutionary.
Although he's gone, at least Suede can console himself that he's off what has become the Waiting for Guffman of fashion television. He'll go on to be slightly less ridiculous and certainly less debased in the real world and we wish him the best. In Suede's ridiculous 3rd person disassociation, his occasional/frequent bad choices, his faux-hawk and his pasty jowls, there is at least humanity. We all have a face that we hide away forever. Some are silk, some are satin, some are Suede and some are leather. They're the faces of the stranger but we love to try them on.
Below, I've compiled some relevant musical clips. Except the last one which is just one of my favorite songs.
A Musical Selection
"Texas Medley" Charley Pride and Johnny Cash
"Country Girl" Rissi Palmer
"Buffalo Stance" Neneh Cherry
"Big Ole Butts" LL Cool J
"Slither" Velvet Revolver
"It Hurts me Too" Karen Dalton
She’s been on hand at the tents of Bryant Park as a spectator over the course of the week. But earlier today (September 12), supermodel Heidi Klum took her turn on the catwalk.
Introducing the fashions from the latest season of her hit show “Project Runway,” the Victoria’s Secret sweetheart looked lovely in a long-sleeved black dress with a notch at the top teamed with beige platform heels.
Whether she’s on a fashion show runway or the streets of New York City, Heidi Klum commands the attention of those around her.
And yesterday, the German supermodel was stopping traffic in the Big Apple as she emerged from her chauffeured car, on her way to a meeting at a nearby office building.
Jennifer Lopez, the fading entertainment personality, had been scheduled to be the celebrity guest judge for the season finale of Project Runway. (The contestants' final, Bryant Park runway show happened this morning.) Now she's out, apparently having suffered some sort of foot injury—which probably translates to "a sudden realization of complete cultural irrelevance." Filling in for Jenny from the block? Style guru and Runway mensch Timothy Gunn! It'll actually be the first time in the show's five year history that he's had a say in the judging process, which he says is "a thrill and an honor." [EW]
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Hello. My name is Joshua David Stein. I used to work here now I just drop in biweekly to discuss Bravo's reality show, Project Runway. Yesterday was the ninth episode of the fashion competition's fifth season. Soooo, um, totes out of character for me, I got pretty blitzed on Tocai before watching yesterday's episode.* Usually I keep my shit together but last night I was, as a little man we both once knew might say, a red hot tranny mess. So last night's episode kind of passed before me as an undifferentiated murmuring light show. Some narrative nuggets though were so bleak however as to pierce through my inebriation. They follow.
PROJECT RUNWAY CANNIBALIZES SELF: I've been watching the show intermittently and whatever plot there was I lost a long time ago.** But it can't be a good vital sign when instead of reaching beyond the borders of the show, the producers decide to resurrect contestants of seasons past and, like so many bony mares, and force them back through the grinder. They do this twice in this episode. Once when they force this season's contestants to pair up with already executed ones (like Lame-o Jerry! Weenie fuck Dan! Gossip Girl Wesley! Angry Mormon Keith!) and again when they are confronted with another batch of zombie designers from season's past at the natural history museum. THIS IS WHY MUSEUM'S AREN'T FUN!*** Then they throw in Zodiac signs? Come on, you lazy reprobates! You can do better. Zodiac signs are only good for picking up high school girls in the Barnes and Noble cafe.****
TERRI IS SAD EX-MORMON HATER Keith is annoying, fine. I'm glad he's gone. But SRSLY! Terri, you are a skunky bitch. Keith doesn't like you. You don't like him. But at least he put aside his pride and put himself at your disposal. That's the challenge. Instead of making do, you were acerbic, defensive and bitchy. You once made us like you because you wondered what Suede was packing (in his pants). You asked whether it was a vajayjay (vagina) or balls (balls). But you squandered our good will when you let your bitchiness really injure those around you. Keith was already vulnerable in last night's situation. Imagine how difficult it was for him to be there. That you got sent home is not only a direct consequence of your inability to work with others but just retribution for your callous cruelty. I shan't be sad to see you leave. My only regret is that you didn't leave sooner.
BLAYNE, I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS BUT.... We've mocked Blayne in the past. He is still the same twerpy tangy troll. His design last night was also hideous. But, well, I'm getting choked up.*****
Blayne, I'm sorry to see you leave. You left with a strange and bizarre grace.
CONFIDENTIAL TO KENLEY You have a nice rack and a pretty face. Stop being so overpoweringly annoying. PLEASE! I want to like you but you are making it next to impossible. You don't look at collections? Come on! You have one week to comply with our request to stop being shitty. At that point, we shall have no other choice than to move you from Column A (Things We Actually Like) to Column B (Things We'd Like To Shut Up)
* As if! It was really two glasses of Friuliano. 2007 was the last year one could call Tocai Tocai. According to a recent EU decision, the Italian grape from the Friuli-Venezia region is known as Friuliano after losing out on naming rights to the Hungarian varietal Tokaji, pronounced, confusingly, Tocai. Oh well, Klonopin is still Klonopin!
**Memo to Mr. Hippity: I read your comments the other day (Nice job liveblogging yesterday. Always a pleasure to read.) One of the reasons that I'm here every other week is because the wonderful Mr. Lawson loves/hates/watches the show as much as I do. By alternating weeks, we ensure a plurality of viewpoints are voiced as well as gaining biweekly Wednesday night parole.
***I know, I know. Museums are fun.
****They're reading the Utne Reader. You're reading The Changing Light at Sandover. She's drinking an Iced Latte. You, an Earl Grey tea. You ask if she's a Virgo. She says, "Yes....born in 1990. Back off, creep!" You reply, "Oooh, Virgos are feisty." 1, 2, 3, 4, slowly walking to the door...
*****OMG, did anyone watch Jerry McGuire before Project Runway? Tom Cruise is sooo good in that. Also, Zellweger wasn't as hideous as she has since become. You got me at Hello! AWWWWW! I choked up. (I get sentimental when I get pissy drunk, off the Henny and skunk.)
(photo from WireImage)
Lifetime is postponing the new Project Runway until January according to Hollywood Insider.
It had been expected the show would debut on its new network sometime this autumn. "With this move, the series will resume its traditional cycle of two seasons per year," according to a Lifetime spokeperson. "We look forward to ringing in the New Year by giving Project Runway loyal fans a superlative season six with Heidi, Tim, Nina, and Michael. The new date and time will be announced soon.”
I am happy that Lifetime has decided to postpone the show until next year because otherwise it would have been too much Project Runway in a short period of time. Let's hope Lifetime changes it up because this season hasn't been as good.
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Heya! It's me, Joshua David Stein. I'm back briefly to talk about Bravo's study in sartorial mediocrity dubbed "Project Runway." We're now deep in the heart of Season 5. Some of the people—term loosely used—on last night's episode were familiar faces. Other faces we saw were strange and stranger. Laura Bennett was a familiar one. The once-pregnant redhead from last season (the season with Hung and Marcel and Capricorn) was a guest judge. It was nice to see her Paltrowian mug. Then there was this thing called a RaytchillZoh (sp?) who was also a guest judge. Earlier in the episode we met a funny-talking cargeigh named Christopher Webb. Where was he from? HE WAS FROM SATURN! And by Saturn of course we mean Torbay, an east-facing bay and natural harbour, at the western most end of Lyme Bay in the south-west of England. But more than a cavalcade of stars and seams, the show was about one thing, a thing with four doors and an EPA estimate of 32 MPG Highway: SATURN.
The contestants—idiot sheep people they are—were invited to go to rooftop. This caused confusion and hope. Blayne thought perhaps it was some exclusive celebrity and they had to go "rooftop style". Mariah Carey was mentioned by Korto. [BLAYNE WALKS LIKE A FUCKING KEEBLER ELF! WATCH VIDEO!] Even when they arrived at a parking garage, that sneaky bitch hope still filled their eyes with stars. They got on a freight elevator. Only Joe, the man from Detroit, remained unfazed. You could see in his eyes he'd been through this shit before. Anyway, Mariah Carey wasn't waiting for them. Only a fleet of affordable yet chic hybrid vehicles [NB: Saturn, please email me my car at joshua@joshuadavidstein.com".] They had to use car parts and upholstery to make their outfits.
To skip over the boring bits quickly: Keith, the whiny ex-Mormon, bitched, moaned. Terri made a shite Jeepers Creepers joke then rolled on the floor. Jor-El redeemed himself when he said, "Don't trust the bitch" referring to Terri and then flashing a false smile. Korto wove this fairly beautiful mod dress out of seatbelts. Everyone used seatbelts. Suede didn't use suede. Jor-El did. Cat Power stuffed her models panties and made a great dress. Stella calls her sidekick on a Sidekick. His name is RATBONES. He has an iron cross tattooed on his forearm and his motto is, "if you don't like it get the fuck outta here." Ok, ok, I'm on my way out.
On to Judgment Day. Is guest judge Rachel Zoe the Montauk Monster? Rachel Zoe from what I pull from the cultural ether, is a celebrity stylist for Lindsay Lohan and others who reportedly drugs her charges into skinniness. Is that fairly accurate? She's a girl-version of Blayne but brined, a deflated doll, a beige tarp thrown over a tower of bones all bungied together and animated by greed. One of those Godzilla dolls you get from Archie McPhee. She also has her own ill-fated show called the Rachel Zoe Project. From the flash of previews, it involves the small raisin woman yelling at other people and occasionally crying. She seems horrible. The show seems horrible. I bet she doesn't even drive a Saturn.
Keith's outfit was by far the worst. Stella's was also pretty bad but Keith's was just inexcusable. Of course he made excuses. He blamed the model for sitting down. He blamed the critics for not appreciating him enough. He was pissy on the runway. Of course he was eliminated. He left, muttering "no worries" through red eyes on his way back to SLC. The voice of reason last night belonged to 5 percenter Michael Kors who advocated personal responsibility. Rachel Zoe, a woman who perhaps could learn something about personal accountability, scowled like an uncomprehending demon. When the television lights were dimmed, the spark left her eyes too and a PA snuck up behind her, opened the rubber nipple and let out any remaining air.
Fashion expert Tim Gunn says he doesn’t understand why Katie Holmes has suddenly ditched her sleek look for those baggy, rolled up jeans.
“I have to say, Katie Holmes has become so much more sophisticated in so many ways, but I think she’s in a dip right now. I can’t explain it.” Gunn actually sees the adaptation of the new look as a move back towards her younger look, saying “She ascended from this tomboyish waif look to an incredible sexy sophisticate. We realize how much style she’s capable of. I don’t get it.”
Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston have also been seen rockin’ these 80’s throwbacks. So why isn’t TG slamming everyone wearing them…simple my friends. Some people have the shape to “make it work”.
After some bad haircuts and many more good ones, we finally get to find out who will Shear Genius tonight on Bravo at 10p. Will it be Nicole, Charlie or Dee? I just hope it is not Charlie because he has annoyed me most of the season. Could you imagine his ego if he won? Huge and even more annoying.
And don’t forget to watch Project Runway first at 9p to see what crazy material they will be working on tonight.
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It's a widely known fact that drag queens are magical space fairies, sent to this Earth to rescue most events (Thursday nights out, birthday parties, brises) from gloom and boredom. So it was disheartening to witness last night a situation that was so fraught with misery and frustration that even the drag queens' faggy cosmos magicks couldn't salvage it. Of course it's Project Runway of which I sing—un-watered hanging Babylonian garden of a once great series that it is. At least the judges demonstrated their impeccable taste and kicked one of the season's chief annoyances out on his bedazzled behind.
The challenge was drag queens, as introduced by a Flight of the Valkyries-costumed Chris March, the lovablest contestant from the ridiculously superior last season. There wasn't really any context to the challenge or, rather, there wasn't really any NBC/Universal marketing tie-in so that felt both refreshing and, admittedly, a bit strange. I couldn't help but feel that there was nothing timely about the whole smoosh—wasn't mainstream drag queen mania birthed and put to bed in the 90's by movies like The Birdcage and Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything IRS, Love Wesley Snipes? Whatever, it brought Chris back so that was fun, but then he didn't even get to be the guest judge! What hooey! It was nice to see RuPaul alive and well and living in Stevie Nicks' hair, at least.
Design-wise, there weren't too many surprises. Jerrel, though he is so so so annoying, can make clothes well. The trouble is he has no taste, as witnessed by his strange mess of greens and blues this week (and his floppy dustbowl prom queen ensemble from the Olympics challenge.) Those brown haired girls are proficient enough, but so sleepytime. Stella fell down some stairs in Detroit in 1976 and hasn't been the same since. Suede's design was capable if uninteresting, like the designer himself. Terri's was fabulous, probably because she was the most excited about the damn dairy queens and she chose the hardest one. It was nice to finally see someone take a risk rather than lashing together some little cocktail dress. Speaking of lashing together, Keith fashioned another of his car wash fringe debacles and Blayne did something involving wings and Silly String that was so bright it made a 10-year-old girl from Tokyo blush (I know it's drag queens, but this was just urgly.)
Also, Blayne continued on his Quest for Catchphrases, prancing around the design room saying that if he was a drag queen (rather than the tree burl dipped in buffalo sauce that he is now) his stage name would be Neonlicious. Because, I guess, what? Farrah Moans. There's a funny, punny drag name! Neonlicious is that new flavor of Mountain Dew you can vote for over the phone. Tranny Ferocia—or whatever Christian's chosen wrestler name was—was even cleverer. Someone put Blayne in a drawer, please.
And then, pfffft, Joe won for his infantile "Ann-Margaret on The Love Boat" sailor pantsuit. For some reason, the outfit, and the way his model wore it and walked in it, made me really uncomfortable. It was like watching Shirley Temple, fifty-years-old and drunk, doing some kind of Charles Nelson Reilly pastiche. Or something. (I'd been drinking at this point.) At least Daniel went home for once again failing to complete the assigned task, choosing instead, as always, to make one of his poorly-crafted, boring frocks. No tears shed for the loss of his "high-end glamor" aesthetic or whatever it is he's peddling.
So yeah, if I seem exhausted it's because I am—with drag queens, with this show, with August (and everything after.) I switched over to the Olympics once the show was done and there was competition that felt fresh and exciting and genuine. And those damn things have been around for thousands of years. Though, they didn't try to have five competitions in three years, now did they?
Oh, and look. Love. Blech.
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Heya! It's me, Joshua David Stein. I'm back briefly to talk about Bravo's study in sartorial mediocrity dubbed "Project Runway." We're now deep in the heart of Season 5. Post partum party girl Brooke Shields was on Pro Ru last night. She's apparently in one of those television shows that has two names. First name. Two syllables. Is something feminine. Second name is something aggressive—Lipstick, Jungle; Cashmere, Mafia; Pete, Pete. The merry band of idiotic sewers were forced to design an outfit for her. They had to present their sketches to the increasingly more alien-looking actress. They also pandered to her. Particularly annoying was Jerrell—who Richard and countless (well, 1,084) liveblogging commenters already pointed out—is horrible. Later in the show he dressed up like Jesus and was annoying in ways too idiotically subtle to enumerate.
Ethinicity also played a role in this episode. My first idea of it started when Ms. Shields told Korto who is from Liberia and who presented an impressive sketch, "The touch of ethnicity is delightful." That was curious and also true. Later, Korto snaps at that guy from Detroit for undermining her (which he did) in front of Tim Gunn. He furiously backpedals and tries consensus building. (Their garment, btw, was in my opinion, lovely.)
The moment of wonder: In a segment that was the most curious and also the most true of any statement ever made, Terri questioned whether Suede was packing balls or vajajay. She also noted that she doesn't have any children and that, therefore, no one should be sucking on her titties. (On the other hand, when the artist Peaches sang in a song, "Sucking on my titties like you wanted me," she presumably isn't talking to her infant.) This truly was delightful for Suede is a little whiny bitch.
Speaking of! Daniel, who I thought I liked, is a little whiny bitch too! When he's getting made fun of or criticized he adopts this look of helpless confusion like a little doggie woggie. He wore this face on the runway. His face says, "Me? Me? You're talking about me? I don't understand!" Kenley also scored some serious points for helplessly laughing when the little twerp reiterated that he had impeccable taste.
I also realized something about orange muppet Michael Kors. His face is never a reliable indicator of his inner life. You could tell him his kid died and there would still be that rictus frozen there. You could tell him he just won Crest Whitening strips, a lifetime supply, and that workmen had just finished installing a carrot juice fountain in his home (two of the things I bet would excite him most) and that smile wouldn't change. All you can judge from are his glazed over eyes which sometimes, if you look closely, are crying for help.
Still, balls or vajayjay!
Brooke Shields is the special guest star on tonight’s Project Runway on Bravo at 9p and I can’t wait to see what the designers design for her. You know Brooke has been acting for so long, I sometimes forget she used to be a model.
And don’t forget to watch Shear Genius after Project Runway at 10p on Bravo where the remaining contestants say goodbye to those who were lost this season the show!
Project Runway dealt with the serious subject of Tanorexia on yesterday’s show. Poor Blayne is going through tanning withdrawal in NYC during the winter and needs his tanning fix. How long will he be able to go without the sun turning his skin brown and his hair blonder? At this rate, he will go out of fashion faster than the clothes they design.
Blayne stick with it, before you know it the sun will be able to tan your skin again. You can do it!
Holla!!!
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Hello, this is Joshua David Stein. I am back briefly to talk about the fifth season of Bravo's Project Runway whose third episode aired last night. Contentious, heated and puzzling, last night's episode was a pitched battle for who is the most annoying character this season. In the running is Suede, the bargain-bin mohawk Smurf who inconsistently speaks about himself in the third-person; there's Blayne, the blonde tan troll droll; and Jerrell, who Mr. Richard Lawson and I agree, says nothing substantive but does it in a tone of voice as if what he is saying is clever and bitchy and we're just assholes for not getting it. And then there's our own Montauk Monster, Stella Zotis, the walking D.A.R.E. ad. She's not so annoying as just nervous-making. She did however remark whilst banging a gromit into yet another pair of leather pants, "What a gay little gromit this is," which may be the best line of the entire series. At those words, little Blayne's pointed poison ivy ears perked up. He's a gay little gromit too.
The narrative arc of last night's episode have been exhaustively and episodically brilliantly covered by MisterHippity and his 882 twitching liveblogging fingers. The challenge was to take New York City as an inspiration. The contestants took wildly out-of-focus photographs of idiotic details we find in our fair city and then tried to render them in fabric to various degrees of OMFG That's Hideous, Get A Way From Me, You Monster Sewer.
It has been done before and is done every season and as always some poor fucks flounder. The loser this week, spoiler whatever, is that long-necked scary-eyed pseudo-hipster chick who made a black dress with day-glo puke ruffles on its front. Strangely, a model in a little black dress with day glo puke running down the front of it truly is a New York sight. Anyway, she got axed. But funnily, Blayne made almost exactly the same dress. His is on the left. Witness:
Anyway, at a later point in the show, Blayne puts Tim Gunn, who we all love in these parts (you should see where I'm pointing!) in the bad bad position of saying, "Holla atcha boy!" See, that's something that Blayne says because he's an idiot asshole. That's not something Tim Gunn should say because, after all, no idiot asshole is he. It made me feel bad like when I watched that video that a deeply immoral soul posted of his Grandmother watching 2 Girls 1 Cup. The dignity of the olds shouldn't be sacrificed for the pleasure of the young.
Let's face it: We all know Blayne is rotten to his carrot core. He's a bad egg. He's ugly cabinetry. He's a mediocre fool and what's worse than that? He's a gay little Gromit. He's bird poop straight from the cloaca. And when he says "Holla Atcha Boy" it makes me want to scream.
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Hello, this is Joshua David Stein. I am back briefly to talk about the fifth season of Bravo's Project Runway whose second episode aired last night.
After the results of the next four elimination challenges were leaked on Wikipedia, I began to dread Wednesday's episode. As a pitiably cableless fuck and a people person I, like many others, spend my Wednesdays in the company of fellow Runway followers. We huddle around the television, wringing outrage and joy from the illumined rectangle like it was a hearth and we but cold laborers. But with spoilers in the ether, I feared perhaps one of my friends would feel compelled to announce the loser prematurely.
I was in a bind. It would be insulting to preemptively warn against spoiling. What kind of animal would even consider it? It's like walking down the street with a friend, seeing an old man with shiny shoes and bits of stubble where he missed while shaving, and sternly warning your companion, "Hey man, I don't know if you were going to do it but don't kick that guy in the dick." Would you really want to be friends with someone for whom that warning is necessary? On the other hand, the stakes are pretty high. Not only could this episode's dramatic tension be lost, but the thread for the next three episodes would be cut short too. This season five isn't strong enough to endure that. So I watched and ate Indian food in dread.
We watched models being interviewed. They had nothing to say. We wondered whether that cute designer from Portland named Leann Marshall is related to Cat Power aka Chan Marshall. She isn't. We saw Stella of the Junkie Lean create a horrible asymmetrical dress that looks like it came from Hot Topic. We watched Blayne say he loved Stella's leather face. We found it funny how she says "leather" the way Billy Joel says "fire" (and "danger") in The Stranger. We soaked up our Chicken Tikka Masala with naan, All the while, eying nervously the cable box like it was an atomic clock. Twenty minutes until the end. Ten. Five. Until the contestants were on the runway and it was clear either Chan Marshall's unsister was going home or the good looking but bland Wesley. Twenty seconds left. Heidi's face filled the screen, an expanse of Germanic skin and brilliant teeth. The elimination music started. We heaved a sigh of relief. And then...
From out of the corner, a voice: "I read that Wesley is going home...." WHAT. THE. FUCK. whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck. Beetlejuice! Yes. It happened. I had stepped out of the prison gate and was struck down by a speeding truck. What is this urge to tell? "It's not like those five seconds were going to make a difference," the spoiler said. In his mind, he had euthanized the episode—arguably a good call. He had done it for his own pride but he also killed it for the rest of us. I left that house fuming, full of ਚਿਕਨ ਟਿੱਕਾ ਮਸਾਲਾ and rage.
As a coda, I'm talking to Richard Lawson now on Adium. He tells me the spoiler said Suede was headed home. Not Wesley. Suede won sooooooo.....I don't know. I'm still filled with anger whether the spoiler's spoil was a joke or a lie or mangled truth, the effect was the same. He kicked the old man in the nuts. It might not have been murder but it certainly was manslaughter.
The tumult surrounding Project Runway continues, now with illicit spoilers. The fashion design competition show has been involved in all sorts of hullabaloo ever since the news dropped that the series would be moving from Bravo to Lifetime after the 5th season, which premiered last week. NBC Universal was pissed and threatened to sue. Then came more bad news about Nina Garcia-related woes and a much groaned-about move to Los Angeles. As this new season approached, Bravo seemed to barely acknowledge it—almost as if they were bitterly trying to sabotage the show. And now these spoilers. Some sneaky someone went onto the show's Wikipedia page and added results for the next four challenges, including who gets eliminated. Is it real, is it a hoax? Take a look after the jump at a screenshot of the "Designer Elimination Chart" and judge (heh) for yourself. Update: Most of the chart has been removed from the Wiki page, but we still have the screenshot!
Goodbye, Jerrell! See ya later, Suede! You were too annoying and queeny for this world. As we tend to play the wild speculation game around here once in a while, we like to think that this was all part of the same great Bravo super plot that squelched any buzz for the current season. Wouldn't that be wicked and hilarious? Truly as bitchy a move as a bitchy network like Bravo could muster. Of course it could mean lawsuits and firings and all that, so we're just sayin' is all. Just sayin'. Can't wait to watch what happens.
Hey, wait a second.
It was good to see stalwart judge Nina Garcia on Project Runway last night, especially after all the foofaraw about her fashion director position at Elle magazine. As the show has tie-ins with Elle, if poor Nina got completely muscled out of that job, her PR gig could have disappeared as well. Luckily that didn't happen. She's still "working" for Elle as long as this season is taping, but she's basically dunzo. To that end, she was embarrassingly introduced as an "Editor-at-Large" for Elle on the show , which we all know is a bullshit title. So sad! Poor Nina! Though, don't feel too bad. The woman is getting paid thousands for public "celebrity" appearances.
A source tells us, when asked about Garcia's final months at Elle: "One of the last things she did were appearances for Anne Klein and I think she charged somewhere around $60K-$70K for it (though possibly a bit more) plus of course, all her expenses, first class travel, 5star hotels, etc. She charged for everything...she charges for appearing on PR as well."
Oho! Good on you, Ms. Garcia. Makin' a buck and knowing how to do it. If she's getting that, can you imagine what Tim Gunn is getting when he makes public appearances? Actually we do know. When Tim Gunn appears in public he gets... sad.
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Hello, this is Joshua David Stein. I am back briefly to talk about the fifth season of Bravo's Project Runway whose first episode aired last night. Last night marked the beginning of the end of Project Runway as we know it. At the end of this season the program will make its much ballyhooed jump to Lifetime so when we first hear the shleeooop sound marking the beginning of the episode at the crazy hour of 9 pm, it was a bittersweet moment. Soon however joy spread over us like some sort of munificent eczema. Season 5 is made up entirely of cute girls and crazy people.
Of the sixteen contestants, three really standout as people you'd cross the street to avoid but also who you might want to follow at a discreet distance to better observe them. Are they really born of woman? Can the same crimson blood that course through their veins course through ours? Yes! Or, yes if your blood is made of Kool Aid, Heroin and Suede.
Blayne Walsh, 23: Tweaked-out Norfin Blayne says he's been a designer for six years. He's from Seattle, WA. He's tiny and will be played by Mary-Kate Olsen in the movie adaptation to the sequel to his life. He's also—I hate to say it—god awfully annoying. No 23 year old Seattle elf should bandy about the phrase, "Holla at your Boy." That is a bad thing to do. On the other hand, he is obsessed OBSESSED with tanning which explains a little bit why he looks like an orange alien. Blayne also says Girlicious a lot and even went so far as writing Girlicious on the poor girl who became his model. She's like chattel but dressed in a goofy diaper.
Fun Fact: Blayne's real name is Richard and he's a barista! Also, he might be the most annoying person on planet earth.
Stella, 42: Woah! It's like a Ramone is on the show. Stella looks like Cher but every time Cher turned right to get Botox injections, Stella turned left onto the Bowery to score. She seems permanently stuck in the junkie lean and has the monotone intonation that accompanies central nervous system damage. I don't know about you all, but watching her makes me really nervous. She almost went home but Lloyd from Entourage went home instead. This is a good thing since watching her is exhilarating albeit in a bum fights kind of way.
Fun Fact: Her middle name is Barbarella and her Myspace page is AWESOME!
Suede, 37: I suppose no reality television show is complete without someone who refers to themselves in the third person. Like, "Suede gotta do what Suede gotta do!" The first thing faux-hawked maybe-future-Dale Suede had to do, apparently, is change his name from Stephen Whitney Baum which he did! Now Suede's Suede (let's call a Suede a Suede) and he moved from Seven HIlls, OH to the city. Is he the Chris March of the season? Who knows but I do find that he addresses himself not only in the first but also second and third persons to be a good sign of things to come.
Fun Fact: Suede is loaded. According to this article, he owns an apartment in Chelsea, a 30-acre hideaway in the Catskills and he set up an endowment at his alma mater, Kent State.
Assorted Notes: 9 pm is a horrible new time. It means dinner at 6 which is just embarrassing. Probably has something to do with the fact that Lifetime viewers are all old women who are eating their television meals alone at home anyway on one of those seats that also is a toilet.
The guy from Detroit is like Kevin from last season but even straighter and cooler. He's from Detroit. He has no use for this noise.
I didn't realize how much I had missed Michael Kors until I saw his large incredulous puppy face.
The season premiere of Bravo's fashion competition is upon us. This is an experimental liveblog. Your master of ceremonies is Mister Hippity. Comment away.
Project Runway premieres its fifth season and final season on Bravo tonight at 10p. I can’t wait to see what characters are on this season’s show and what designs they come with up.
After this season the show says auf wiedersehen to Bravo and walks the red capret over to Lifetime.
BTW don’t forget to stick around after Project Runway on Bravo and check out Shear Genius at 10p
Project Runway premieres its fifth season and final season on Bravo tonight at 10p. I can’t wait to see what characters are on this season’s show and what designs they come with up.
After this season the show says auf wiedersehen to Bravo and walks the red capret over to Lifetime.
BTW don’t forget to stick around after Project Runway on Bravo and check out Shear Genius at 10p
With the new season of Project Runway hitting airwaves tomorrow (Wednesday July 16th), Heidi Klum is working overtime to get everything ready.
The German supermodel was spotted hot on the promotional trail this morning with an appearance on NBC’s Today Show. And she looked brilliant as she exited the Rockefeller Plaza studios, stopping to sign autographs sporting a silver minidress and heels.
Last week everyone was wondering where all the Project Runway info was. The fifth season of the fashion design challenge show premieres on Wednesday night, and there hadn't been a peep about casting, challenges, or (shudder) product placement. Today this precious treasure trove of knowledge has been released upon the world and, blah, it's not all that exciting. The product placement has gotten increasingly irritating on the show, but producers the Weinstein Company keep it going as they stand to make ridiculous millions off of the deals. (Though, will they have to offer a disclaimer in future seasons?) Our old friends L'Oreal, Saturn, AmEx, and TRESemmé are back, as is last season's Macy's replacement BlueFly. Expect more sentences like "It's so great to apply TRESemmé and L'Oreal products to your windblown features after driving with the top down in your Saturn roadster while wearing your scarf from BlueFly that you purchased with your American Express card, which is priceless. I mean it's everywhere you want to be. I mean don't leave home without it." And the cast? Oh, it's your typical gaggle of gals and gays and one straight man. Play a fun game of guess the breeder after the jump.
Blayne
Daniel
Jerell
Jerry
Joe
Keith
Suede (ahem)
Wesley
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Answer can be found at AfterElton.
No no no no no, Jesus no! No, Jesus, no! Not Project Runway! *jumps on coffin, wailing and writhing* Sources say that, not only is ProjRun losing two of its key producers in the move to Lifetime, but it's relocating to Los Angeles! Los Angeles? Fashion capitol of the world? Not exactly. Heidi Montag's clothing line is based out of there!
Produce