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Every morning when he wakes up and stares out of the window of his ritzy New York apartment, Eliot Spitzer sighs and tells himself, not today. The former governor is still atoning for wearing socks during his affair with prostitute Ashley Dupre, but he has so much to say about what's happening in our country right now. Since we broke the news that Dupre's interview with Diane Sawyer would air this Friday, Spitzer evidently decided to poke his head out of his apartment. In his sermon from hell in this morning's Washington Post, he provides a naughty prescription for restoring America:
If he had just waited a year or so, Spitzer could have gotten a lower price on his fun jaunts with paid women. As his one-time paramour Dupre chose ABC for her "consulting" fee and first televised interview since the scandal, Spitzer has followed up a bland interview with Time Out New York with an editorial in today's Post.
In the essay, Spitzer renews his call for a unified regulatory agency instead of an expanding bureaucracy. The piece is mostly an analysis of the ongoing situation in the financial sector, although it does give a shout-out to his former lifestyle:
Although mistakes I made in my private life now prevent me from participating in these issues as I have in the past, I very much hope and expect that President Obama and his new administration will have the strength and wisdom to do again what FDR did.
You just know Spitzer will be back. If it takes forever, he'll wait forever. And as alert reader Chileno notes, between "capital infusions," "explosion of leverage", "ability to probe", "invisible hand" and all that "self-regulation," Spitzer will be plenty busy with his favorite subject when he does.
How to Ground the Street [WaPo]
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You know what was sort of fun? When like around the year 2000, comedies about men stopped being about complete fucking idiots and the sassy exasperated women who love them and became comedies about slovenly yet lovable dudes who may chase the muff around, but in the end really just want to fall in love. They weren't the most progressive of films, but they were funny (Wedding Crashers, Old School, etc.) and at times endearing (40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up). But you know what isn't fun? The odious culture of Bro that Daily Intel is righteously angry about that sprang up like a nacho-cheese-smelling weed in the newly tilled field of gender studies created by these films.
I mean look: there are now books like Brocabulary: The New Man-i-festo Of Dude Talk and a social networking site called BroBible that allows dudes to "share stories of weekend revelries and exchange tips on romantic endeavors" (so basically, eHighFiving about Jaeger and pussy). There's also The Foggy Monocle—a site we admit to sometimes enjoying, except when there are posts like this. And, as the coup de grĂ¢ce, there is the Brody Jenner reality program, punnily called Bromance. It's just gone too far!
Beer and farts and pretzels and bikinis and boorishness and messy rooms and unwashed hair and sloppy Band of Brothers-isms and all that is sort of endearing for a bit, but the minute it becomes so hyper-commodified like this, co-opted by big ol' marketing strategies, it, like so many other trends, becomes so epically embarrassing that I can barely bring myself to admit that a book called The Bro Code even exists. But what's the corrective for it?
I mean, is the bro-ness blowback from the cult of Ladybusiness that was heel-clacked and button-snapped into existence by Sex and the City? Will this dudenami eventually ebb back into the sea of the gender war, and we'll have another placid few years of mild Friends-ian sexual dynamics to apathetically contend with? At this point, I sort of hope so. Because if I hear one more thing about guy code (even though it is used in the hilarious It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) or bro-ness, I just might have to get all up in your face with hilariously clueless karate moves or like a little kid with glasses or an Asian chick or something. You know, something that's bro-funny.
Actually funny bro-ness:

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Posted: December 14th, 2007, 10:55am CST
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Posted: October 26th, 2007, 9:40am CDT
Apparently there's a television show on VH1 called America's Most Smartest Model in which a group of models live together and strive to perform basic tasks like eating and exercising and trying not to sexually assault each other. The winner receives $100,000 and the title "America's Most Smartest Model." For one of the contestants, a Russian named Andre Birleanu, the eating and exercising were fine, but that last part he had some trouble with.
The 25-year-old model was at Cipriani Downtown when, according to a young lady:
"He touched my genitalia and I immediately moved away," she said. "Then I looked over, and he looked really upset.... I went up to him. And he was standing there with his head down. He said something along the lines of 'no.'
"He then grabbed my boob."

In his own defense, Mirleanu said, "I already slept with that girl, so it's strange she would say I touched her inappropriately." Oh right, we forgot, once you sleep with someone they are yours
forever! Another fun fact about Andre. When he was arrested, he was out on bail after being charged with stalking, aggravated harassment and attempted assault; in 2003, he spent 6 months at Rikers. What Would Tyra Say???
Reality Hunk In Sex Bust [NYP]

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Posted: August 27th, 2007, 11:00am CDT
"[R]eporters for the Times Ledger, the Queens weekly that was purchased last fall by Rupert Murdoch, thought their editors were doing their corporate big brother the New York Post a favor. The reporters had located Matt Murphy, who caught Barry Bonds's 756th home run, through their high-school alumni Website and gotten the first interview with him, which the weekly posted on the Internet. But the Post didn't appreciate the tip. "The Post basically had a fit and demanded the story come down off the site," apparently to keep the Daily News from seeing it, says a source close to the weekly. The Times Ledger complied, and the Post published its own version later that night." That's just how they roll over at News Corp., kids: Wait until you start breaking the financial scoops. Straight to the Journal! [NYM]
