Sienna Miller filed a lawsuit against a London-based paparazzo Darryn Lyons and his Big Pictures agency in the High Court of London to prevent them from taking photographs of her. Whether she's filing the lawsuit because she's upset about her pending split with Balthazar Getty or because she just hates the paps that much, the British legal system is about to establish another interesting precedent. Since celebrities can't retaliate any other way but in the courts, paparazzi fanfiction is here to let them settle the score.
The hardest job in the world next to blogging – and nearly as well-thought of – is following celebrities around with a camera and snapping their every move.
But filing a lawsuit and dragging this guy through a lengthy legal process doesn't sound like much of a solution. We recommend Sienna take up the following prescription from our favorite fanfiction site, AdultFanfiction.Net. The following encounter by user 'Achtung Baby' suggests one possible solution to the pap problem, and features a fictionalized, gun-wielding version in a woodland setting of Eliza Dushku:
The gun fired with a loud pop and an orange dart shot out directly into the deer's jugular vein. The deer collapsed unconscious. Eliza walked up to it and checked its pulse, then nodded. She whistled, and all three of her male companions stood up and came out of the blind. They moved forward and surrounded the deer. Clarke was holding a roll of duct tape and Nate a large plastic garbage bag. Eliza drew a curved knife from her belt and slit the animal's throat, finishing it off with one clean cut. Damn, Gary thought as he watched Clarke and Brad start to push together and tape up its legs. This is great!
Eliza was stepping back now, putting away her weapon while the men turned over and bagged the dead buck. Gary took a shot of the dead animal, then another of Eliza and her knife. He then moved to the side, hoping for a better angle for his next frame.
SNAP.
Gary cursed as he stepped on a loud twig. Instantly Eliza's gun came out, up, and fired. The dart hit Gary right in the chest before he could react. He let out a yell of pain and fell, barely keeping hold of his camera as he tumbled out of the bushes and halfway down the hill. "Shit!" Nate shouted, dropping the freshly bagged deer.
"Oh my God," gasped Brad. "Eliza, what did you-?"
"It's okay!" his girlfriend snapped, lowering her pistol. "He was watching us in the parking lot earlier. I think I've seen him before. He's a paparazzo."
Remind me not to follow around — or blog about — Eliza Dushku, OK?
Gawker's 
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Oh dear. The book Misha: A Memoire of the Holocaust Years by Misha Defonesca, about her time as a little girl escaping from the Nazis and living with wild animals, was very popular. It was translated into 18 languages and was made into a French feature film. The only problem with this embiggening, lupine story? It's not real. It seems that Defonseca did not, in fact, escape the Warsaw ghetto, kill a Nazi, and befriend a pack of wolves during the war. "I ask forgiveness to all who felt betrayed. I beg you to put yourself in my place, of a 4-year-old girl who was very lost," Defonseca, whose real name is Monique De Wael (and is not actually Jewish), said in a recent statement. Though, to be fair, her parents were killed by the SS, just not the way it happens in the book. Sigh. Just don't tell me Life Is Beautiful wasn't real. What wacky places those concentration camps were! [
First 
You've heard Peter Bjorn and John's "Young Folks," the insanely catchy tune "built around a whistling hook so addictive that it has helped regenerate an art form long relegated to the realm of dog-walkers, bird-watchers, and the TV-hawked tunes of Roger Whittaker." Guess what? It's a big hit in Beantown! And you know what else? It is responsible for a renaissance of whistling in the hellhole by the harbor.