The annual War Against Christmas is starting again! This is the time of year when secular humanists and other assorted anti-American forces do various things to undermine Jesus, such as asking for the term "Holiday party" to be substituted for "Christmas party," and requesting that Jews, Muslims, and members of other blasphemous religions be "included" in things. But this year it's even worse, because some atheists have started a public ad campaign designed to destroy God! Fox News is taking this threat very seriously:
"WASHINGTON, D.C. — You better watch out. There is a new combatant in the Christmas wars."
Lock and load, Christian soldiers! The American Humanist Association is putting ads proclaiming that there is no god on buses in DC, right where children can see. And a black man seems to be involved. This proves that Obama is the Antichrist.
[via Adfreak]
One reason getting older isn't so bad is that at the end of every year, one gets to watch as the Times 
Just in time for the birthday of shop-loving Baby Jesus, the Times covers shop-dropping, the practice of placing items in stores. (Aww, remember the 
Dear 
Christmas Eve for Jews is depressing! Especially for me, in part because I hate Chinese food. Also, it's the birthday of Christ (who my people killed) so that makes me feel bad. But, one way I could see feeling better about myself is going to 
New study shows that 7 out of 10 gays own pets! 9 out of 10 gays say their pet is "a member of the family" and 2/3rds of gays have BOUGHT THEIR PET A HOLIDAY PRESENT. "Anyone who knows me and my partner Greg also knows that our Wheaten Terrier Chester is a big part of our family," says prominent sad gay Wesley Combs, President of Witeck-Combs Communications, Inc.
News Corp. employees picked up their holiday gift bags today—what did they get? "A Simpsons page-a-day calendar, some Jeff Foxworthy book, and The Simpsons Movie DVD," one of the lucky recipients tells us. Anything else? "We also got an Emergency Procedure Guide." Oh! Well that will definitely come in handy should there be a second 
Rep. Dem Yvette Clarke, first-term Congresswoman from Park Slope, "was one of just nine members of Congress who last week voted against House resolution 847, a symbolic bill that, among other things, acknowledged 'the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith.'" SHE VOTED 'NO' ON CHRISTMAS. [
Earlier this week, Congress passed a resolution affirming that "the House of Representatives ... expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide; acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;[and] acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization." That ought to clear up any lingering confusion. [
From the mailbag, about the big News Corp. party on the 14th: "Omg you would not believe the news corp holiday party invite. it's in the form of a comic book about how 'we saved the planet. (*not yet but let's party like we did.') My favorite nauseating bit: 'When it comes to climate change it's important to remember the 3 Rs: Relax!! Rejoice!! Rock!!' Whew--i feel so much better about my planet's future now that NEWSCORP is on it! Also we're asked to wear something blue in honor of COOL CHANGE, the party's theme. And all the rooms at the hilton have appropriately dubbed monikers for the party (my favorite being the escalators, now renamed 'The Winds of Change' that will blow you to the appropriate part of the venue). Good god." It goes without saying that you must 
Email friends of party photographer 
Can't wait to see how fellow Sirius host Judith Regan defaces this tree when she comes in to work next week.
The cookies look a lot like Martha! 1970s stoney Martha. 
And these look just so much like Howard Stern and yet they do not smell of personal lubricant.
That sign also says in tiny type, "Don't fuck with my motherfucking tree, you fucks."
Evite released stats this week revealing that somehow, December 15th is the partyingest day of the entire year. Evites have been sent for 100,000 parties on that dreadful Saturday. According to Citysearch, "in New York alone, there are already 8,000 parties planned for a total of 275,000 invited guests, making New York the No. 1 'Super Saturday' party city in the U.S." That's more parties than New Year's Eve, Halloween, and the Super Bowl. And it needs to stop.
In interfaith households, the Times 
Are you married to a New York Times staffer? Or are you Simon Rich, spawn of Frank Rich? Thanks to an in-house Times email, we know exactly what you're getting this Christmas: "Fleece pullovers." Or maybe pens! "Avoid the holiday crowds by doing your gift shopping inside The New York Times Building," they entice. Everything's under $80!
Hey, do you want to "get down" with Perez Hilton? That celebrated blogger—one of the 
Every year around Christmas, companies throw holiday parties they clearly don't want to throw. Employees of these companies go to the parties looking to get wasted and hook up with a co-worker. The clash of breathless expectations and corporate penuriousness is like a crashing wave upon a rocky cliff, except instead of salt water the wave is fashioned out of a year's worth of accumulated workplace bile. Send tales of your company's trangressions to 
"Two rainy summers followed by drought have produced a shortage of some Christmas tree varieties in New York, especially Fraser firs, one of the most popular choices, according to growers. 'We've had it three years in a row now. Two with excess rain and now a drought. Mother Nature can't seem to get it right,' said Robert Norris, a tree farmer and executive secretary of the Christmas Tree Farmers Association of New York." Silly old Mother Nature! Also, last week's UN conference on global warming in Valencia 