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6 items tagged "corporate"

Related tags: America [+], responsibility [+], of [+], living [+], dude [+], culture [+], a [+]

Gawker

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  "Idea Showers" [Corporate Living]

  Posted: June 17th, 2008, 1:27pm CDT by Hamilton Nolan

  Tags:  corporate living  

  The BBC has a list of the 50 most annoying phrases in corporate jargon, but let's loop back and touch base about it offline. [BBC]

  
  

  

  
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  CBS' Top Spokesman: Professional Slacker [Corporate America]

  Posted: June 11th, 2008, 1:28pm CDT by Hamilton Nolan

  Tags:  corporate America  

  If you ever find yourself needing an official corporate quote from CBS, the man who'll give it to you is Gil Schwartz, the Tiffany Network's top flack. And no matter how you feel about their news anchor, you have to give CBS credit: they're the only major media company to have a top PR person who writes books under a pseudonym about how much corporate America sucks. Schwartz's pen name is "Stanley Bing," and he's been writing for decades (currently, for Fortune) about all the business world's bullshit. Bing's real identity was outed more than 20 years ago, but—more bonus points—the network didn't fire him. They gave him a promotion! So how is CBS' Executive Vice President of Communications spending his time these days? By advising the world on how to slack off at their jobs:

  SchwartzBing's latest book is called Executricks: How to Retire While You're Still Working. His five key points:

  * Delegation: the art of making other people do what you don't want to;

  
  * Absence: the establishments of zones in which one is working and not working at the same time;

  * Abuse of status: formerly the realm of senior officers, now available to everyone with creativity and even a modest amount of plastic;

  * The appearance of decisiveness, even when confused - the decision-making process is the single greatest eater of retirement time and must be telescoped;

  * Intense Engagement when required. Short, intense bursts of actual work are sometimes necessary and must be managed with aplomb.

  SchwartzBing is having a contest now looking for slacking suggestions. Best one wins a free lunch with him. Please enter, win, and send a full report.

  (Gil: Don't forget to also think up excuses for Katie Couric, though.)

  [HuffPo, PRNewser, Bloomberg TV. Pic via WP]

  
  

  

  
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  Why Is This [The Horror]

  Posted: April 25th, 2008, 4:52pm CDT by Pareene

  Tags:  corporate dude  

  Why. Why would anyone make this. David Brooks is admittedly the best illustration for "corporate dude" basically ever, but that is exactly why this is so terrible and wrong.

  
  

  

  
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  Wal-Mart Is A Drag [Corporate America]

  Posted: April 9th, 2008, 10:33am CDT by Hamilton Nolan

  Tags:  corporate America  

  Wal-Mart worked with the same small video production company for 30 years to tape internal company events. But Wal-Mart unceremoniously dumped them as a contractor two years ago,so Flagler Productions decided on a new business plan: selling its old videos of Wal-Mart [WSJ]. And the most incriminating ones sell best! Flagler now gets $250 per hour to let people look through their archive, and since all their customers are Wal-Mart haters, the company is pissed. But they can't do anything about it! They were mean and now they suffer. Which is how life should be, for Wal-Mart. Below, one of the finest examples of repurposing footage from the archives: a 1995 meeting featuring a bunch of company managers on stage in drag. I always knew those Middle America types were kinky like that.

  
  

  

  
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  So This Is What Christmastime Corporate Penuriousness Looks Like! [Reader Response]

  Posted: November 28th, 2007, 4:25pm CST

  Tags:  a culture of corporate responsibility  

  Earlier today we explored the BYOB shysteriness of one company's yuletide party and we asked for your disgruntled corporate christmas stories. You obliged in spades, you bitter battle worker bees. Here's a selection. Keep them coming at tips@gawker.com

• "Our company is not holding a formal party this year because we just began an employee wellness program, which is incompatible with alcohol, fatty food and, presumably, random sex. Our holiday gift consisted of a tote bag (which were available year-round in the supply room), a golf towel from our former parent company (surplus), and a cup. How original."
  
• "Umm, I work for a multi-million dollar law firm - one of the biggest in the world - and this year they have decided to throw our "party" in the unheated lobby of the building that we work in and share with another global firm. The lobby is open 24/7 (meaning there is always business being conducted and people coming in and out), surrounded on all four sides with ceiling to floor open windows (people stand outside and gawk constantly), and is home to one of the largest areas of lost tourist gatherings in the city - seriously WTF???? nightmare!"
  
• "I heard Ann Taylor is having theirs at Spanky's BBQ! Now that's classy....."

  AND, for all you folks looking to crash Reuters' holiday party: Hope you wore a nice outfit, cause it's tonight!

• "It's our "holiday" party tonight (the closest holiday being Thanksgiving) In the Rainbow Room at Rockefeller Center. From 6 to 9. On the same day as the effing tree lighting."