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18 items tagged "douchebags and amp"

Related tags: Assclowns [+], without, town, models, food, drink, designer, clothing, cheap, celebs, baby, babies, a, Trashy, Supermodels, News, Names, Gossip, Fashion, Drugs, Celebrity

Damnimcute.com

• 

  The NBER Is So Smart: Recession Announced

  Posted: December 2nd, 2008, 9:31am CST by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

  

  REALLY?! Ohhhh really?! Well congratufuckinlations you stupid stupid idiots who finally admitted that shit.

  Yesterday the extremely smart National Bureau of Economic Research stated how the economy is at it’s lowest in a very very long time. Here’s a little overview of what a recession is for my economically challenged readers:

  A recession happens when the GDP ( gross domestic output) of all the goodies and services declines for two quarters in a row.

  Our very smart president issued a statement about the financial crisis, the millions of jobs destroyed, all the damaged banks and accounts:

  I’m sorry it’s happening, of course.

  WHAT THE..!? I feel like he just doesn’t care, but it doesn’t matter I guess since he’s got about a month or so to be in office. He’s probably going to spend his time pardoning fucking CEO’s.

  Our amigo Henry Paulson even released a statement about the 700 billion dollar bail-out:

  I have confidence that we are pursuing the right strategy to stabilize the financial system and support the flow of credit into our economy

  He probably meant to say ” flow of credit into my wallet…”

  These politicians are incredible. Everyone is literally killing themselves over the crisis for such a long time, and now they come out: It’s a recession bitches…

  
  

  

  
• 

  Maybe Miley Cyrus Will Leave Our Lives

  Posted: December 1st, 2008, 11:11am CST by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  Miley Cyrus might leave us to pursue photograhy. Maybe she wants to take crotch shots of her little model boyfriend, who really isn’t as hot as eveyronemakes him seem.

  He looks sort of like a pretty boy and I’m personally not enthused by that sort of bullshit. A man is supposed to have a dominant appeal rather than a feminine pansy look.

  Anyways, Miley might drop the slut act, and start learning about photography and London. What is it with her and London? Just move there already stupid bitch, we don’t want you here.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Evan Is Dating This Delicious Man ( Hell- it doesn’t matter)

  Posted: November 25th, 2008, 8:58am CST by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  Evan Rachel Wood, that whore who attempts to pull off a Dita Von Teese, has moved on to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 27-year old 3rd Rock Hottie.

  It’s nice she’s finally dating someone around her age, and perhaps she will quit the burlesque act and be herself again.  But this post isn’t about her relationship with him. It’s all about how hot this man is. Like holy crap! Those gorgeous features! And even though he’s taken ladies, I’m pretty sure Wood wouldn’t mind sharing him.

  Don’t worry about being a homewrecker- she’ll understand.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Miley Cyrus Prefers Christians

  Posted: November 20th, 2008, 9:51am CST by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

  

  I’m not saying she’s discriminating, the bitch Miley Cyrus just prefers Christians.

  You can see what I am talking about by clicking HERE. She recently had an interview with Ellen DeGeneres and then started being extremely improper and unprofessional. When Ellen asked her about Justin, she just started acting like a 3-year-old. Unfortunately nobody sent her to time-out.

  That girl has GOT to be on something other than the pill. But seriously, watch the clip. Oh, and that picture just goes to prove how dirty her tongue is. Who knows where it has been.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Jessica Simpson Likes To Talk From Her Ass

  Posted: November 6th, 2008, 9:33am CST by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  In an interview with Cosmopolitan, Jessica Simpson’s ass decided to have a word about relationships.

  I’d always fall for guys I wanted to save. Okay I had no idea you thought yourself as Jesus. Then the bitch decided to add- for the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me. Wasn’t that a line in your movie?

  Who does she think she is? The only way anyone is saved is if they get away from her grip of epic failure. Did you see how her new movie was so awful it went straight to DVD. Sure, Russia liked it- but that’s only because to them she is comedy!

  
  

  

  
• 

  Prostitute Alert: Dina and Ali Lohan

  Posted: October 28th, 2008, 9:52am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

  

  Seriously kids.

  I agree with my honey buns Anderson Cooper, these people are just AWFUL.  Gosh, Ali Lohan is SOO ugly. I can’t stop thinking how much she looks like a hooker here! Does she think she looks like one of the Pussy Cat Dolls? Hell to the fuck no.

   Her mother is such a fucking faker. Look at that cross on her neck. Take that off Dina. You probably can’t even read. You probably relate Jesus to Santa Claus and God to Prada. But all in all, Ali Lohan needs to stop stuffing her bra and stop wearing push up bras. It’s like she’s crying out: OLD MEN AND ANDY DICK PLEASE TOUCH ME!!!!

  Stupid bitch.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Miley Cyrus: Sex Sneeze Demonstration

  Posted: October 16th, 2008, 9:00am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

  

  This is Miley Cyrus’ demonstration of what would happen if she sneezed while giving head.

  It’s pretty disgusting actually, since she’s got chipmunk teeth. Who wants chipmunk teeth sinking into their package-honestly?

  If this bitch get’s more Claire’s jewlery I swear she’ll look like my great Aunt Lenore who still thinks it’s hip being a hippie.

  Please Miley, stop this nonsense. Stop with the stupid lollipops, ice cream cones and awful fashion faux pas.

  Just….go…..away for a long time.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Jonas Brother’s Will Never Leave Us At Peace

  Posted: October 15th, 2008, 3:53pm CDT by Celebrity Pictures Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  And in other whore news, The Jonas Brothers continue to make thousands of girls scream…but not sexually because they’re all “virgins”. Cough.

  Just when I thought I was going to enjoy a nice game of football on Thanksgiving ( Dallas Cowboys vs. Seattle Seahawks)…I was wrong.

  The Jonas Brothers will be performing during the halftime show.

  Seriously….thanksgiving is a holiday..why do I have to see more of you awful people on my television screen!?!? Seeing Jessica Simpson clutching Tony Romo in the sidelines is enough celebrity-intoxication for me.

  The only way I will enjoy watching the halftime show is if they SUCK. So let’s cross our fingers.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Sarah Palin’s Hacker

  Posted: October 9th, 2008, 9:20am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  Remeber the story about Sarah Palin’s yahoo email account being hacked into?

  Well the dude David C. Kernell just turned himself in and was charged with “breaking into the Republican vice presidential nominee’s personal e-mail account.”

  I had no idea that they made a law called that. Wowzers! Anyways, the kid plead not guilty and he’s released without a bond but the court isn’t allowing him to own a computer (WTF) and can only use the Internet to check e-mail and do class work( BIG WTF).

  How the hell is he going to survive? Anyways, it’s not his fault that Palin’s password was so easy to crack. I think her password was maverick.

  Palin is a stupid moose-murdering bitch and it’s HER fault for making her password THAT simple.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Another Reason To Hate Miley

  Posted: October 7th, 2008, 9:15am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  

  Yes parents.

  Your 8-year-old daughter is now going to ask you to get her belly button pierced. ALL THANKS TO MILEY CYRUS!

  
  

  

  
• 

  Shut The Bitch Down

  Posted: October 7th, 2008, 9:06am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  If Miley Cyrus was a dude, she would be douchebag of the day every flipping day.

  Anyways, we need to shut the bitch down. Remember that whole ridiclous Disney birthday celebration she had? Well she’s not only pissed off tons of parents with the tickets being 250 a pop…but she’s also pissing of the locals. Some dude mailed perez saying:

  as u probably know the fireworks at disneyland go off at 9:30 on most nights. apparently when u get tons of money for a private paty u get fireworks at 11:30 pm. on a sunday! we thought an explosion went off over there! (we live real close) when the fireworks go off normally they always start small and then esclate. last night it was just BOOM BOOM! and it was very late. most people im sure were in bed getting ready for a tedious work week to try to pay off a home that they may lose, but not miley. she got a fourth of july worthy fireworks show and so did thousands of anaheim residents who had no idea it was coming. love your site..peace!…kevin in anaheim

  Annoying, annoying dumb bitches who worship the shit she walks on. They need to go home and turn off Hannah Montanah and start watching Charm School or some shit.

  Someone punch Miley Cyrus in the face.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Linsday and Sam: Fun in the Sun

  Posted: October 1st, 2008, 1:37pm CDT by Celebrity Pictures Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  The hoes were spotted wearing bikinis and simmering in the sun.

  Linsday has a hot body, but Sam…not so much. I was actually expecting Sam to be in some trunks and a wife-beater. However, that is too high of an expectation.

  Samantha’s cleavage made me want to puke my perfect taco that I just ate.  It’s almost as if I am seeing curves on an 8-year-old boy.

  Disgusting.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Nick Hogan: King of the Douchebags

  Posted: September 25th, 2008, 9:09am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  While his friend was dying he was smiling about his sentence!

  Like many young, hollywood stars- Nick Hogan made some mistakes and ended up putting his best friend in a vegitative state. But that’s okay because HE HAS MONEY and he can get a wimpy-ass-sentence AND he can even cut that sentence short for good behavior!

  This is what has happened: Nick was sentences 8 months in jail.  WOW! 8 months.

  That ’s really going to change his life drastically. Anywho…now he will be released 3 months earlier than expected: October 21st!!! A jail official has come out of the darkness and said: ” They automatically get credits towards early release, and if they don’t do anything bad while they’re here, they get to use those credits.”

  It’s like they give people in jail stickers for all the bad shit they’ve done.  So whats the purpose of going to jail?

  
  

  

  
• 

  Damn I’m Cute’s Douchebag of the Week!!!

  Posted: September 23rd, 2008, 9:09am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

  

  Yes I know, it’s Tuesday- but we already have our douchebag of the week/weekend.

  Let me introduce the great golf-playerJack Nicklaus’ alleged grandson: Beruch Zegeye. This 17-year-old douchebag attends Benjamin School in North Palm Beach, Florida. Shocking ey? Anyways, the rich bitch is accused of killing a motorist in a DUI crash on Sept. 13. Before he murdered the motorcyclist, he was on his gramps boat that had booze and drugs!

  So Beruch decides to party it up ont he boat with a bunch of bros and hoes. Then he’s like eff this shit, I’m going to drive daddy’s porsche around and act like a complete lunatic. And when on the road he rams into the back of a pizza deliveryman’s economy car causing a motorcyclist to go through a windshield.

  His bail is $200,000. I bet the dumb f*** is already out however we should cross our fingers that he gets life in jail.

  Whether somoene has a million dollars or someone has one dollar- there is absolutely NO EXCEPTIONS in manslaughter.

  Update: The person who died was NOT on a motorcycle, he was driving the car. His name was
  Paul Krommendyk.

  Police said Paul Krommendyk was stopped at a red light at the intersection of PGA Boulevard and Prosperity Farms Road in Palm Beach Gardens on Saturday night when 17-year-old Beruch Zegeye slammed into the back of his car.

  Police said Zegeye was driving his Porsche at about 80 mph in a 45 mph zone. Paul Krommendyk, whose car was then pushed into a third vehicle, died instantly. ( Thanks Jay & Palm Beach Post)
  

  Uhm, and what is really fishy is how Beruch was released on $50,000 bond AND he’s allowed to go to school, church, and the doctor’s wearing an ankle bracelet. Bull shit. Palm Beach County’s law enforcement obviously doesn’t care much about deaths caused by wreckless teenagers.

  
  

  

  
• 

  Miley Cyrus: I want Sex

  Posted: September 16th, 2008, 10:07am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  Anyone lost a drunk-chipmunk? Oh wait..that’s Miley Cyrus.

  Who knew? Anyways- what the hell is on her head? Someone needs to lend that gurl a brush and some de-frizz oil.  She looks like a hot-mess, minus the hot.

  I notice on her wrist she has a couple of black jelly bracelets. I recall that when someone wears those black ones it’s considered an invitation to have sex with whoever breaks them. Isn’t that the antonym for a chastity ring?

  This is evidence that Miley Cyrus is a whore and wants everyone to cut her black bracelets. 

  
  
• 

  Jennifer Lopez is a selfish bitch

  Posted: August 20th, 2008, 9:41am CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

   

  Someone ought to tell Jennifer Lopez that it would be wise to shut her mouth before too much shit pours out of there.

  She made an appereance on Good Morning America August 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon.  She had been overheard by sources saying that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about the swimmer”.  She even forgot Michael Phelp’s name.

  To top it off she yapped about how the bigger story should be how she’s been training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth.  Bitch please!!!  Nobody cares about your damn trialthlon,  child or marriage.  Michael Phelps is the shit, and you’re just old news.

  God, Jennifer Lopez is such a skank! I just want to throw shit at her!

  
  
• 

  Tila Tequila Turned Down..again

  Posted: July 2nd, 2008, 12:17pm CDT by Celebrity Pictures Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

  

  Someone finally shut this bitch down.

  Tila Tequila got turned down on her own show! Last night’s finale of A Shot at Love 2 was HILARIOUS.  Tila chose Kristy as her final choice but Kristy was like,”Nope, no thanks…I’m uh…confused.”  Tila stated that she keeps trying to look for love but each person who she attempts to give it to…walks out from her.  Damn, I wouldn’t walk out…I’d run out!!!

  “Why, what am I doing wrong?” asks Tila.  You’re doing everything wrong- by breathing, singing, acting, stripping, faking that you’re bisexual, talking…etc.

  A Shot at Stupidity should be MTV’s next awesome reality show featuring Tila Tequila.

  UPDATE!!!: Tila Tequila changed her Myspace name to TILA TEQUILA- KRISTY IS FAKE! USED ME TO GET ON TV!  Very mature Tila, bravo.  Oh and she added a sweet little poem :

  BITCHES AIN’T SHIT BUT HOES AND TRICKS!

  Thunderfuck my mouth is shut. Been a while, feel like a cunt.
  Can’t wait for this drama to pass.
  Oh the joy…..fuck you. My ass.
  Live a lie.
  Tell my mind.
  Over soon. I can’t deny.
  You will all soon see, the truth in my eyes.

  Smile on my face, the loving embrace….but instead I’ll punch you in the face.
  For a long time coming….I let you touch me….now that it’s over bitch….You better start running.
  Pent up inside….telling these lies….this has gone too far…..the world will soon die.

  Only 1 more day. To feel this way. Tomorrow I smile….brings another day!

  Back to myself. Nobody else. Fuck all this bullshit. I’m back to myself. Yes. Thank the fuck God.

  Tila

  Tila Tequila: You fail. Face the truth, Kristy hit it and quit it.

  
  
• 

  Heidi Montag Can’t Sing

  Posted: June 24th, 2008, 12:57pm CDT by Celebrity Gossip Blog

  Tags:  douchebags amp Assclowns  

  
  Ahh, this is what will be expected when Heidi finally realizes that nobody likes her.

  And yet another shitty song has been released by reality celebrity, Heidi Montag. Well, its called “fashion”. I don’t really know whats so fashionable about it because it’s just more awful than anything. The vocals are all electronic so it covers up her shitty voice. The lyrics are like, ” Fashion..fashion gimmie more fashion..blah blah…I suck Spencer’s..blah blah blah” She tries to sing in French, but even the French are just shaking their heads dissaprovingly.

  Go stick your head in a bag of shit Heidi, I think that would be more entertaining.

  Picture Source