Who will be America's next top big thing? No, seriously, who? Everyone likes to guess. We recently speculated about future tabloid fixtures, and now Vanity Fair has put together a list of the new princes and princesses of Hollywood. Look! There, of course, are the Jonas Brothers, the sexy smooth kids of Gossip Girl and promising hottie boombalotties like Hunter Parrish from Weeds and Kristen Stewart. We synced up on a couple of people, Emma Stone and the GG kids, but VF took its typical turn toward the misguided in several of its Young Hollywood predictions.
Can someone explain Emma Roberts to me? She starred in the failed Nancy Drew movie and in a film about a mermaid alongside something called JoJo (not a monkey.) And yet, everyone keeps hooting and hollering about how she's going to be the next movie star to eat the planet. She must have the best PR people in the business.
Another misstep is the inclusion of Christopher Mintz-Plasse, the squiggly McLovin' nerd from the bawdy teen sex fest Superbad. Sure his character was funny in the movie, but the kid wasn't really acting. He's kinda like Michael Cera—awkward in real life and on screen—in that he's probably not really acting. Mintz-Plasse is a one trick pony, and once everyone wises up and stops casting the abominable Jon Heder in movies, they'll get rid of ol' McLovin' too.
So yeah, look at the article and ogle the pretty pictures. Youth certainly fades, but maybe these photos won't, as long as they kick around the internet. Hopefully these colts will be able to look at these photos many, many years from now and smile and wistfully remember a time when the world patted their heads and, however briefly, told them they were special.
Oh, and thanks for the Gawker shout-out, VF! "Celebrity garbage-disposal unit," eh? Hell, we'll take it.