The good news about the Recession just keeps on coming! First it was layoffs at institutional hate monger Focus On the Family, and now it's a failure of reality television! The Los Angeles Times tells us that some once-very popular shows like Deal Or No Deal (aka Guess!), Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?, and Dancing With the Stars are down precipitously in the numbers this season. They deduce that this might indeed be because of the recession and the fears of stark reality it stirs up (as depicted by Lance Bass dancing). And if that's the case, then maybe this recession is a good thing!
Let's just think of it like spring cleaning or an enema. Sure it's unpleasant in its way, but you'll also feel relieved and unburdened when it's over. Frankly, though it will pain me at first, I think I'll learn to live a better life without my beloved Cottage Living magazine, so you should learn to live without Survivor 43: The One Where They Finally Eat Poop. There's been talk of this phenomenon going down on Broadway—that a good purge will revitalize the medium—and maybe the same will be true of television. Look, good scripted TV shows like 30 Rock and Gossip Girl (OK, "good" is sort a of relative term there) are up! in the ratings.
So, I know it must seem catastrophic now, but it'll all work out in the end. Sometimes, things just have to burn. It's nature's way.
You know, it would be a totally awesome Veteran's Day segment, says the bleary news producer, if we recreated that famous photo of the nurse kissing the sailor in Times Square. We think our ideas sound great when we're 
Though we worried yesterday that 30 Rock was facing 
Today's New York Times wants you to know about a lovely-sounding new intoxicant that just might be worth braving the Lower East Side for. For centuries people in many parts of South America have been gathering to drink the tea of the yerba mate plant, which is traditionally served in a gourd, sipped through a silver straw and passed around "like a bong in a dorm room" to cure stomach trouble and nervous disorders. Now, Yuppies and hipsters are gathering at Manhattan watering holes and drinking the elixir mixed with Chilean grape brandy and fruit juice to "cure nothing save the stress and ennui of urban life." 
So, um, the first episode of Gossip Girl (9 muthafuckin' days y'all) FEATURES TINSLEY MORTIMER. We knew the brain-addled, handbag-designing socialite was cameoing, but we didn't know it would be the first episode. "...Dan has spent the summer assisting a famous author, but decides to head to the Hamptons to see how things stand with Serena after a summer spent apart. While interning for Eleanor Waldorf’s company, Jenny sneaks an invite to a much-coveted Hamptons’ White Party at which Eric introduces her to socialite Tinsley Mortimer." [
Oh gawwwd. The Observer 
Oh mah gawww y'all! Britney Spears is an aunt! Jamie Lynn Spears, sister to gumball-filled ex-singer Britney, has 
Good Morning! Sooo... some 
Real or fake, this is pretty funny. I didn't realize a straight-on-straight, Godzilla, model train, crabstick fetish existed, but apparently it does. Enjoy your weekend everybody. I'll be drinking in midtown if you want to find me. [
"One thousand years ago today—or Friday, the 12th—a terrible slave-trading murderer/imbecile who did not even know how to spell his own name, which is Latin for 'asshole,' landed at the 'Sandals' resort in Puerto Rico or some such Caribbean island and thought he was in Bangalore. What an idiot!" [