Your Gmail sponsored link that will make you hate Democrats of the day: "Mama Voted For Obama." It's precisely the idiotic indoctrinating garbage you think it is, except for this awesome scene of cartoon Obama reenacting the My Pet Goat incident as, presumably, the nation burns. Good work, Mama. The terrorists won. [Little Democrats]
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Gawker
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Mama Wants a Fucking Medal [We Hate Your Kids]
Posted: November 18th, 2008, 3:36pm CST by Pareene
Tags: We hate Your Kids
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Surprisingly, 'Bring A Fit Jew' Rugby Party Offensive To Some [We Hate Your Children]
Posted: November 14th, 2008, 4:28pm CST by Richard
Tags: We hate Your children
Antisemitism in Europe has been on a curious and troubling upswing for the past few years, mostly in central Europe, but now it's moving its way west. Some charming under-21 rugby players at Oxford (that's in England) decided to throw a party with a "bring a fit Jew" theme. The young men put on fake payot and carried around bags of money for the fun, splashy event. The University found out and tried to block it, but the kids sneaked their way around it and had the party anyway. The captain of the team, a lad named Phil Boon, has commented on behalf of the students:The captain of the under-21 team, Phil Boon, said he "didn't see what the problem was". He said Jewish girls had accepted invites to the party. "I can understand why it might have offended some people, but it would have been an awesome social." Boon refused to comment further.
[Guardian]
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'Eco-Kids' Save The Earth By Annoying You [We Hate Your Kids]
Posted: October 10th, 2008, 12:19pm CDT by Hamilton Nolan
Tags: We hate Your Kids
Oh, good: at the same time that parents nationwide find that their savings have evaporated, their children are becoming increasingly strident about harassing them to buy solar panels, hybrid cars, and organic produce. Not only that, but apparently our tax dollars are funding public schools that turn out an army of little Green giants ready to scream over watered lawns and plastic bags. You can almost see their parents smiling tightly through gritted teeth: "That's...good, very good." But as soon as a reporter calls, the adults are ready with an entire litany of annoying complaints:“They’re on my case about getting a hybrid car. They want me to replace all the light bulbs in the house with energy-saving bulbs.”
Do they have jobs?
In Clinton Hill, Brooklyn, Jan Schmidt, a stay-at-home mother, and Mark Goetz, a professor of furniture design, have watched, amazed, as their 4-year-old son chastises them for letting the water run while they brush their teeth. “He’ll come over and turn it off and say, ‘Every day is Earth Day,’ ” Ms. Schmidt said. “He learned it at school.”
Ha, I bet she said that happily.
“They’ll say, ‘Mom, I thought we weren’t supposed to use plastic bags,’ ” she said.
Douglas and Alison Distefano, of Rumson, N.J., who have two children, dubbed their fifth grader, Olivia, “the recycling militant general.”
That's nice, sweetie.
Paul Wyckoff, a writer in Hunterdon County, N.J., said his 15-year-old son, Will, yells at him for “leaving the car idling for a few seconds in the driveway.” He has even taken to turning off nightlights to save energy.
“My philosophy is get the big stuff,” Mr. Wyckoff said. “I think he takes it too far. But I’m proud of him. I think he’ll moderate with age.”
Kids: shut up. You're turning your parents into Republicans. [NYT]
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The Bad Moms' Club [We Hate Your Kids]
Posted: September 18th, 2008, 11:34am CDT by Sheila
Tags: We hate Your Kids
Home-schooling? So over. Try city-schooling your kids at the Met and trendy bars. That's what The Professors' Wives' Club author Joanne Rendell is doing. How does an un-schooled Manhattan five-year-old spend his days? It has its advantages: "Un-kindergarten for us means Benny can sleep late so I can write. It means we don't have to worry about bedtimes and can go out on the town with friends any night of the week. We can go to Europe and visit my family when the flights are cheap..."Heh. It's like she's trying to provoke criticism from the blogs.
"Now, in the warm afternoon sun, Benny is playing with two other kids in a strip of mud in a small backyard. His two friends are completely naked. Benny has on his underpants and a pair of socks. Almost every inch of childish skin, cotton, and hair is covered with wet, sticky dirt. The kids are completely absorbed in the task at hand: burying a bobbing-eyed baby doll in the dirt. At the moment, the doll's torso and legs are completely submerged. Her head is exposed, but one eyelid is held down by mud. An earthworm wriggles just a couple of inches away from the doll's shining plastic scalp.
We mothers and one father sit nearby drinking cool beer..."Confused. Is the burying the doll in the mud part a metaphor? Because that's metaphorically what we do all day at work, too.
Unschooling [Babble]
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Someone Lost Their Kid—He's in the Sex Shop [We Hate Your Kids]
Posted: September 15th, 2008, 3:01pm CDT by Sheila
Tags: We hate Your Kids
A child, photographed inside the Park Slope, Brooklyn's newest sex-toy shop, Babeland. Proof that Park Slope yoga-moms will stridently insist on taking their kids everywhere, from last year's babies-in-bars battle to this year's high-class porn emporium fiasco. (My ovaries are screaming at me to use protection.) [via Brownstoner]
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Literary A-Gay the Most Popular Sperm Donor in Town [We Hate Your Kids]
Posted: September 10th, 2008, 11:30am CDT by Sheila
Tags: We hate Your Kids
Ira Silverberg is a well-known literary agent and a well-known gay—his partner is the former New York Times etiquette columnist Bob Morris. He has borne not one but two children via his sperm, reports the Observer. “For years I’ve had one very close friend who always said, ‘When I have a child, I’d like you to think about being the father'... [then] the call came and I hit it on the first shot. Delivered in a baby food jar." Thanks for that, Ira. Kid's gonna love reading this. Remember: privacy begins at conception! [NYO; photo Fishbowl NYC]
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Mom Really Does Love Your Brother Better [We Hate Your Kids]
Posted: August 5th, 2008, 10:15am CDT by Sheila
Tags: We hate Your Kids
Uh-oh: parents do love other kids more. Especially if they're their real kids. A new study finds that foster- and step-children are "twice as likely to die" from unintentional maltreatment. This does not bode well for the children-of-many-colors of Brangelina! (Remember, it's their biological kids that commanded millions for magazine covers, not the ones she adopted as a single mom.) [Science Daily]
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Como Se Dice "Amazing"? [We Hate Your Kids]
Posted: June 30th, 2008, 2:13am CDT by mr.guyball
Tags: We hate Your Kids
Mexican High School Musical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Key differences from the original: They've replaced the basketball dance sequence with "futbol", and it appears that there are fewer Jews in the cast.
Disappointments: Am I the only one who thought Mexican Zac Efron would be cuter?
Excitement: Mexican Ashley Tisdale has a much better nose job.
Next Stop: Bollywood!
[Via OhNoYouDidn't]
