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We just posted THIS but the Associated Press is saying that Twilight is going to suck balls big time.
We are extremely offended at them, they clearly do not understand the books like us awesome fans do. The review was probably written by someone who tried to compare the book to the movie and did not realize that movies can’t have ALL THE SCENES.
Anyways, there will always be haters otherwise life wouldn’t be fun.
It’s extremely obvious MTV has died.
After the emotional ending of TRL, I realized: There is nothing related to music on MTV anymore. The only music I see is the random songs being featured right after an episode of a reality show. MTV should consider changing its name to RWS. Reality Whore Shows. Good-bye music. So long the music revolution of this generation.
All I have is my ipod now…and myspace.
Everytime I watch The Hills, a couple of brain cells begin to fry.
This is why I tend to always switch the channel. And right when I thought MTV would be safe again, they come up with Season 5. WHAT MORE IS THER TO KNOW ABOUT THESE AWFUL PEOPLE!? Ughhhh! All these people do is “work”, talk shit about each other, then drink it off-oh and don’t forget the random glaring and smiling.
Well, apparently the hoes couldn’t refuse the massive amount of money that MTV had to offer them. I see why they would say yes. Also, if they said no, they would just drown in the abyss of being a normal person rather than a celebrity.
What I would like to see in Season 5 of The Hills though is some physical violence and def. more of Spencer. As much of a douche-bag that guy is, he’s pretty much the only one on the show who is somewhat smart and knows how to manipulate all the hoes who surrounds him.
We all know about sad-face Taylor Swift with her idiotic obsession with the TAKEN Joe Jonas.
Tay-Tay and Joe only lasted for like a week or some shit. How can she possibly still be stuck on that virginal dick? So Selena Gomez, girlfriend of Nick Jonas released a statement: I get so mad about ex-boyfriends, but if a boy hurts me, I don’t write a song about it. They don’t deserve it!
Thank YOU Selena. Taylor should take your advice..but she totally wrote Love Song and Forever and Always. I think Taylor actually released a statement following Selena’s on her myspace about moving on or some shit…wtf?! It’s not like they had SEX…right?
No, I must be wrong. They totally had sex. He hit it and quit it! So obvious people. But hey, I’m sure NONE of you want to accept the fact that men are pigs.
( Especially the ones with straightened hair…)
Holy shit.
Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives has fallen from a 40 feet balcony. Somehow..he has NO BROKEN BONES! WTF!? How the hell does that happen?
If I fell from that shit I would become some sort of human salsa. But this dude survived.
Miracle.
Who lied to Hayden and told her she was a model?
Seriously, please girl-put some clothes on. That shit is not sexy. And it’s especially not sexy when you are trying to cover up what you are wearing. At least have confidence that you look like a whore.
Her make-up is just so wrong. Is she trying to look 30? Whats up with this wack fashion-I don’t like it when young celebrities walk around as if they’re on a cat walk wearing sheer shit. That’s messed up.
Do us all a favor, wear some clothes Hayden.
And once again we have a fallen celebrity who is trying to hard to look hot.
Lindsay Lohan, these aren’t the fucking hippie days. Quit with the peace sign on your ass. You are the absolute antonym to peace.
This photograph is recent and Linsday wants the world to know that she too can look like every other white girl on myspace who is trying to say- hey I have a butt too! Ridiculous.
Her left leg looks a little funky with the shorts squishing her thigh. Instead of getting a photographer Linsday, maybe you should get someone dealing with photoshop? They could get rid of your Barbie hairand squashed thigh .
Oh, and quit acting like you’re vintage- you’re just old trash.
Isn’t listening to Miley Cyrus whine about 7 things she hates about you an awesome way to celebrate Thanksgiving?
Like I totally think of her when I think of the Native Americans and the European immigrants in Plymouth Plantation, 1621. Disney decided to fuck up our ears by forcing us to watch Miley Cyrus, The Cheetah Girls and some other bitches and hoes.
Oh, there’s also an America Idol persona who will be singing-David Archuleta ring a bell? Makes me want to eat a chuleta. (Only my Mom will understand that)
Anyways- Thursday November 27th, go out and do something with your family, try to switch the channel when Miley comes on because chances are she will be wearing a bikini to show the world her awesome new belly button piercing.
Hide your children please.
NO!!!
Skank ass Tila Tequila is dating Mac’s human child. Disgusting. They were apparently fucking at some L.A. club. I wonder if they had sex while on their ipods. That would make an awesome commercial. Actually, it would be pretty gross. It would be funny though if Mac boy was like- Hi, I’m a Mac. And Tila said- Hi I’m syphilis. We go well together, we can infect you and ruin your lives! 
Yay for ruining your life!
What’s wrong with the world today?
Kate Moss looks disturbing.
She always has. I don’t understand what’s so gorgeous about a toothpick with noodle hair. Maybe someone should explain it to me. And all this bitch does is snort shit. I know she’s a model…but there are fresh faces out there and this twat needs to go home.
Agreed?
Akon has recently told the press that if John McCain wins the election- he will move back to Africa.
Fuck. What kind of booty music will I dance to now? No more smack that…no more belly dancer…damn Akon. Well here is what he said:
If he [Obama] doesn’t get into office, I’m gonna change my citizenship. I’m moving back to Africa. You can hold me to that. I’m afraid to live there if he [McCain] is President. The decisions he makes scare me: he’s making selfish decisions, he’s doing whatever it takes to get into office
And for kicks and giggles he also said:
“I don’t think he’s going to last eight years so she’s definitely going to be president. Oh my goodness - that’s scarier. And who would be her running mate? Joe the Plumber?
Lmao. Vote for Change and Vote NO! on Prop 8.
Kali: A Hindu goddess associated with death and destruction. (Thanks wiki)
The bitch you are seeing is…….Heidi Klum. Uhm- it’s quite frightening actually. I don’t have much to say except..I’m pretty sure that her kids probably hid in the closet as soon as she came out. Wait…her kids always do that when the bitch wakes up!
So yeah. Kali. Wow, damn. Make-up sure does wonders. If I had her body I would have gone as Mystique.
Heidi Klum looks really odd.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she had an ax in her hand. It also seems like she’s about to do a porno and someone jizzed abover her lip. I’m just saying.
Anyways, I’m not used to seeing sleek models all dressed up like a Raggady (did I spell that shit correctly?) Ann Doll. It’s disturbing, but I suppose that’s what happens when you fail at your show and modeling.
Wait…the word douchebag just doesn’t cut how fucking incredibly awful this human is.
This guy, William Balfour is a convicted felon who is the prime suspect in murdering Jennifer Hudson’s mother, brother and nephew.
You want to know how old her nephew was? 7 years old. Seven fucking years old. Let me repeat that in caps: SEVEN YEARS OLD. Who kills a child? An adult can threat, an adult can hurt someone- but a child?
Anyways, Willie over here declined taking a polygraph test and has not been cooperating with the cops. To me, he might as well have a tattoo saying ” Murderer” on his forehead. If this bitch is the dude who killed Hudson’s family, I wish the worst for him.
HURRY! Parents! Hide you’re kids.
The Jackson 5 is coming to town. We are all screwed! ( Well, all meaning little boys). So Jermaine Jackson told the Australian Associated press that they will be reuniting and it will be ” just like old times.” Scary. Mike isn’t confirming any of the news yet.
Jeez, this was a great halloween gift for all of us!
I suppose there are auditions for the Ghost Of Christmas Future…and Katie Holmes is living the part.
I’m not sure what she’s wearing exactly..but I think Tom Cruise is attempting to make her look more like him or maybe she’s turning into a vampire. Either story is convinciving. But seriously, whats the bitch doing? Put some flippin’ bronzer on girl. Damn you need the skin to kiss your dry pale skin.
Perhaps some Vaseline?
Here’s a horror flick that will do the opposite of what you want it to do.
It’s called The Haunting of Molly Hartley and you can click HERE to watch the trailer HERE. It’s pretty funny how that Gossip Girl character and 90201 character is in it. Let’s just throw in some of The Hills girls too! That would make the movie epic and funny. But this movie reminds me of the Omen.
So much material to work with, but all ends in hell and shit.
Oh Gwen Stefani is showing of her car, I mean child Zuma.
You’re probably wondering..why did she call the child a car? Well kiddos, it’s because that’s the name of my friends car. Anyways- the child’s full name is Zuma Nesta Rock. Sounds something I would hear coming from that movie Zenon that aired a million years ago back when Disney wasn’t filled with hoes. Princess Zuma?
Problem is…Zuma is a dude. Poor kid.
These celebrities were born on October 29:
Randy Jackson is 47.
Gabrielle Union is 36.
Brendan Fehr is 32.
Richard Dreyfuss is 61.
Dan Castellaneta is 51.
Winona Ryder is 37.
Miley Cyrus and her thong model boyfriend…Justin whatever moved in together.
That’s unfuckivinglivable..(thanks Lil Wayne). Isn’t this what Jamie Lynn did before she got her ass pregnant? Live with the boyfriend…then BAM sex sex sex…and BAM babies..babies..babies.
This is exactly what will happen with the slut Miley. And people will STILL love her and probably praise her for being a “young mom”. Sick.
Disney needs to stop giving opportunities to bullshit actresses.
Lindsay Lohan is going to release her new album Spirit In The Dark one day.
I don’t care to tell you when it’s coming out because I don’t condone buying the album. However I do think that Spirit In The Dark is probably a translation for Spirit In The Closet.
Well, her hair looks fake as fuck and I don’t know why she is silver. It’s not like she’s going to sell an album that’s going to go platinum . All in all, it’s a failure of an album cover.
I expected photos of her and Samantha Ronson making out on the cover or something.
This trailer for Tennessee looks annoying. Watch HERE.
Mariah Carey has the same monotone voice as she had in glitter. Absolutely nothing has changed with her horrific acting skills. The movie would be better without Mariah Carey in it.
It’s about two brothers, finding their father…and something to do with finding a donor and other shit. Oh and Mariah Carey is some lame waitress who wants to purse a singing career. STFU! That’s all she ever is in any role/movie…some lame person wanting to become a singer.
RIDICULOUS!
Apparently Miley Cyrus‘ boyfriend likes to borrow her clothing.
This young dude at the top is her 20-yr-old boyfriend Justin Gaston. What the eff!? Miley looks so damn old on the bottom! Why so red Miley? I knew that bitch always had a lot of make-up on at all those damn Disney Events. But methinks that Miley looks better au-natural! Hey sexy overweight body and red face should be on display 100% of the time!
You go girls!
Good. She’s a woman!
I’m glad Guy Ritchie has moved on to something more human! And she looks like she actually has curves and isn’t made of plastic! Her name is Kelly Reilly,a british actress who was on the set of Sherlock Holmes. She has pretty color! Not barbie hair shit like Madonna.
Guy’s new lady is stunning in comparison to soon to be corpse ex-wife Madonna. Madonna is probably going to work out some more because her husband is getting more poo-tang than she is!
Wait, I lied- she’s got A-rod. That’s enough poo-tang.
Ever wonder what fans of baseball teams do when their team is a failure?
Well, Yankees fans and Yankees haters like to poke fun at the baseball playas! These four guys are making A-Rod so effing pissed off with the Madonna pictures…BUT it’s so hilarious at the same time.
Damn, I would post pictures of that bitch inside A-rods locker!!!
Damn people, you pissed of Raven Symone! Stop making fun of her genetically terrifying eyebrows! It’s not her fault that she was born with such unfortunate hair-lines!
Anyways, the bitch always annoyed me. Growing up and watching The Cosby Show, I always thought this hoe was an effing brat. And she remained one as she grew into her size 78798 pants onto the set of That’s So Raven. She has this long-ass rant about girls making fun of her:
I WAS BORN WITH MESSED UP EYE BROWS, LOOK AT THE COSBY SHOW THEY GROW UPSIDE DOWN AND ON THE WRONG EYE.
Alright, alright. But then the bitch goes on to write about her “thickness” and that pissed me off.
ID LOVE IF THE INDUSTRY COULD ONE DAY UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OBESITY AND FAT AND THICK AND THIN AND SICK. I AM A THICK GIRL..
Bullshit. BULLSHIT!!!!
Raven Symone YOU ARE NOT THICK. Thick is sexy, and you look saggy and floppy. Bitch, if you were thick you would have CURVES not cankles.
You are obese. Deal with it. I can tell by your arms and face. If you actually took the time to get off the couch and run, you would have a slimmer face and a THICK girls body you blind ass BITCH!
You have the money to get a personal trainer and a nutritionist so shut the hell up and stop trying to convince us you are at a healthy weight.
Conrgatulations Lil’ Wayne!!!
He is expecting a son who will be “born any day now”. Since he did not say exactly who the mother is, we can only assume that HE is pregnant. I’m guessing that is why he hasn’t gone on tour. He must take care of his fetus. Lil’ Wayne already has a daughter from his first wife. So this child can’t possibly be his first wife’s child.
The only reason why we can’t see his belly is because he’s hid the baby in his super baggy pants.
Oh. My. Fucking. Gosh.
What HAPPENED!? Who did this?! Who is responsible for dressing you!? Did Tom decide that all your outfits be made by him and the scientology cult? Please Katie. Run. Run as fast as you can. Take Suri with you!!!
You look HIDEOUS. So hideous that I have to wikipedia your age. You’re 29 and you look like THAT?! The crazy scientology cult is not only getting to your head, it’s ruining your fashion sense. It’s ruining your beauty.
Katie Holmes…save yourself from the embarassment, divorce the bitch.
The only thing I like about this Ashley Tisdale bitch is that she has gorgeous hair.
Other than that, she should seriously consider checkin’ into Dr. Troy’s suite on Nip/Tuck. I’m serious! They can do WONDERS for her. But then again, it’s nice to see natural lookin’ girls.
Anyways, the dress doesn’t flatter her. I hate it when I see young celebrities trying to be Nicole Kidman or some shit. She’d look better wearing color rather than grandma’s table mantle. (Yeah, original joke..I know, I know)
These celebrities were born on October 17:
Eminem is 36.
Wycelf Jean is 36.
gemma Atkinson is 24.
Nick Cannon is 28.
Mike Judge is 46.
Alan Jackson is 50.
Ziggy Marley is 40.
That McCain likes to hit it from the back!
Sarah Palin is not who I am describing in the headline.
Fox News decided to cover the cover of Newsweek. (Ha, ha-play on words) Anyways- check out this Newsweek cover on the top. To me, it looks like any other cover. Another important figure just spreading their message. Yet, some dumbass Republican media “consultant” went on Fox to say that the cover is totally unfair. Andrea Tentacles said:
This cover is a clear slap in the face at Sarah Palin, why? Because it’s un-retouched. It highlights every imperfection that every human being has but we’re talking unwanted facial hair..wrinkles…blah blah blah.
Andrea Testicles also said how it’s not fair Barack Obama’s cover looked so good and almost angelic. Uhm….I had no idea Palin was running for President. Why compare her to Barack Obama? Plus, wouldn’t that cover of Barack Obama actually make him unrelatable. Couldn’t you argue that Newsweek made Palin relatable. It’s probably a cover showing that she’s NOT a beauty queen so people can identify her more with politics.
You’re a dumbass Andrea. I think you killed the purpose of the Newsweek cover. Go drown in make-up (you need some).
Check out what I’m writting about by clicking HERE.
It seems like everyone these days are commiting suicide or shooting people randomly due to this financial crisis.
So Damn I’m Cute wants to tell you awesome viewers, DON’T KILL YOURSELVES OR ANYONE ELSE! This awful time will end in about 2 years, it might seem forever but it’s really not! Killing yourselves won’t solve this problem. Go to counseling, therapy…everyone has their ups and downs in business.
Be safe!!!
Quick update on these rockers.
DJ AM and Travis Barker have both been discharged from the hospital. Their reps. have stated that both are recovering from the horrific accident and that they need their privacy with their families.
We respect that. Get well boys and once again, our condolences to everyone who lost a loved one in that accident.
Beware.
Mariah Carey will not only crack your ear-drums, but she will ruin your eyesight too with….A NEW MOVIE!!! NOOOO.
I think it’s called “Tennessee” and Mariah will be playing some dumbass waitress whose dreams of a singing career have been screwed over by a bad marriage. Gosh darn it. I’ve heard this story a million times.
This movie will blow.
Evan Tanner,37, best known as UFC mixed martial arts fighter died September 8, 2008.
He was known to be the first American to win the Pancrase Neo-Blood tournament in Tokyo, Japan. In his mixed martial arts records, he had 32 wins and 8 losses. His body was found in the Palo Verde mountain area.
Many condolences extend to his family and friends.
Now Diddy isn’t the smartest cookie in the world.
However, even though he’s one of the wealthiest he still has time and interest in what is going on in the nation he lives in. There are a lot of hollywood hoes who don’t give a shit about politics. But it was awesome to hear the hysterical YouTube video of what Diddy thinks about McCain choosing Palin.
Click HERE.
Time for some bitchassness!!!!
Somewhere in the world, Democrats are laughing there effing asses off. So the extrememly conservative bitch Sarah Palin has announced that her 17-year-old daughter Bristol is 5 months pregnant! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Let’s remind ourselves why this is funny.
Sarah Palin has been chosen to be McCain’s vice president. She’s a conservative freak of nature who is AGAISNT homosexuality, AGAINST abortion, AGAINST feminism and I’m pretty sure she’s agaisnt pre-marital sex. If she couldn’t structure the priorities of her daughter, how the bloody hell is she going to lead the nation when McCain hits the bucket? And yes, come on- he’s going to die soon.
But we can’t just point fingers at Palin. Bristol hunny, they’re called CON-DOMS. I know your mother dissaproves of them but you can actually get them from Planned Parenthood without parent’s consent. Another thing, what was John McCain thinking?
I seriously think this man shot his opportunity to become president in the face, balls, and ass.
Solange is annoyin’ my eyes with her bullshit clothing style and bullshit smile.
Who the eff put this outfit together? Is she trying to be different from Beyonce? If so, she’s doing an amazing job. She’s even seperated herself from all other humans! Congratulations, you think you’re different Solange.
You think your voice is incredibly unique so this must obviously give you the authority to dress like a effin 5 year old…wait no, I don’t want to offend any five-yr-olds. You dress like a cheap ghetto queen. Maybe it’s because you are one. Dont lie, you know the only thing that’s holding your career up is your association with Jay-Z, and Beyonce, bitch!
Miley Cyrus is selling herself to the highest bidder on ebay.
See guys… already a prostitute! Starting Tuesday all her fans will have the chance to win a date with her…hello pedophiles. The lucky winner will attain nude pictures of her and even a lap dance. Haha! Not. This little girl is going to take her winner to Disneyland. Yippie-Dee-Doo-Dah! She’ll probably give them head in the “It’s a Small World” ride.
Michael Jackson anyone? My bad, Miley is too girly for him- I think Andy Dick would be all over THIS.
How many times did this bitch say “you know?”
Please guys watch THIS youtube video Diddy loaded. Honestly did it take you all this time to realize you have ten fingers and ten toes? Did you have to run to realize this shit too?
Wow- I really wasted a good 2:30 min of my life watching this video. I give him kudos for showing that he is human and he does take shit for granted. Then he killed the moment by saying he just got finished breathing. Idiot.
I can’t wait to hear what he says after he does yoga…
I can’t believe this is Andy Dick. This looks like some maniac pedophile waiting to steal Baby Suri from Tom’s grip.
Anywho, Andy just got his ass arrested and this the police report:
“At 0113 hours, Murrieta Police responded to call at Buffalo Wild Wings, 40484 Murrieta Hot Springs Rd., Murrieta to investigate an intoxicated male at the location urinating outside the bar and causing a disturbance. Officers arrived and stopped a truck which was leaving the location. Witnesses told the officers one of the truck occupants had sexually battered a 17 year old outside the restaurant and bar.
The 17 yr old female victim and several witnesses told police that as Andy Dick left the establishment, he approached two females outside the bar. Dick walked up to the 17 year old female victim, grabbed her tank top and bra and pulled them down and exposed her breasts. He then was escorted by several of his friends to a truck which was stopped by arriving police officers in a nearby Sam’s Club a few moments later.
Andy Dick was in the front passenger seat of the truck. A curbside lineup was conducted and the male was identified by the victim, as well as a witness. During a search incident to arrest, marijuana and Xanax were found in Andy Dick’s pants pockets. Andy Dick was extremely intoxicated at the time of his arrest. He was booked at the Southwest Detention Center.”
What the eff? That is so gross!!! He’s such an idiot. I hope he goes way to jail for a looooooooooooooooooong time.
Update: Haha, sorry about the mispelling of PEDOPHILE- a lil’ too much Tequilla!!!
Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards have their daughters in therapy. Their ages are 3 and 4. Now, is this the same place that Heather Locklear goes to? Denise told In Touch :
“My kids are in therapy. It’s very sad that they need to be there, but they do for now. On the other hand, it’s good they have an outlet to deal with their feelings and someone who is just their advocate.”
What more can you expect when your mother is Denise Richards and your father is Charlie Sheen? By the time they’re 11 they’ll be poppin’ pills and overdosing on crack.
Shit-these kids are going to be worse than the Holgans and the Hiltons.
Heather Locklear is seeking treatment for psychological issues at an Arizona facility.
Well I think it was about time this starlet locked herself up in a room to cry about all the shit that has happened between her ex-husbands, her ex-best friend and the whole throwing gangsta signs. Her reps have released one statement:
“Heather has been dealing with anxiety and depression. She requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment. This is a confidential medical matter and no further statement will be released.”
Confidential my ass!
Bill Murray’s wife of more than 10 years, Jennifer Murray, filed a complaint in court alleging he physically assaulted her. She also claims he has a severe drug and alcohol addiction.
According to the complaint, Jennifer Murray moved out of their home due to her husband’s “adultery, addiction to marijuana and alcohol, abusive behavior, physical abuse, sexual addictions and frequent abandonment.”
The complaint also detailed an incident of assault:
It was at the Sullivan’s Island home, according to the complaint, that Murray allegedly abused his wife in November 2007. The six-page court filing says Murray “hit his wife in the face and then told her she was ‘lucky he didn’t kill her.’ “
Jennifer has asked the court for a restraining order. She also wants the court to examine their pre-nup which states that she’ll get $7 million if they divorce.
The two were married in 1997 and they have 4 kids together.
Stay tuned…this divorce is going to get nasty!
“24″ star Kiefer Sutherland was arrested on suspicion of DUI in Hollywood last night. This is the Sutherland’s second DUI in the past five years. If he’s convicted, it would be a probation violation and he must serve a mandatory minimum of five days in jail.
Oh…and guess who the judge is? Judge Michael Sauer, the guy locked up Paris Hilton for her probation violation.
