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Posted: July 15th, 2008, 11:10am CDT by Richard
Babies! Famous people have been having them! And then they also sell photographs of the babies because, in some twisted Dina Lohanian world of logic, selling the photos of the babies somehow mitigates the other paparazzi attention the little squirming things would inevitably receive. It's a highwire act of faux inferential reasoning, but it seems to be popular. Probably because of those millions of dollars. Brad & Angie (Pitt & Jolie) haven't yet announced plans to sell their new twins' souls (if you believe the Injuns), but they did hawk pictures of their other real kid, Shiloh, donating the proceeds to charity. So yeah, lots of people are doing it. But who hasn't? Which big-time celebs adamantly refuses to publicize, for no valid reason, their progeny? Take a look at a little gallery after the jump.
Weren't Offered Because They Wouldn't Anyway:
Nicole Kidman
The Aussie actress made it clear, before any offers were on the table, that she would not be doing a photo op for her baby (with country singer Keith Urban). Their kid, named Sunday, was born recently. We're told it looks nothing like Tom. (That's not her baby in the picture.)
Halle Berry
Same went for the Monster's Ball actress (except the Tom part). She kept her birth and her baby's visage private. Though we do know that she named it Professor Catface Meowmers after her character in Catwoman, one of the most successful movies of all time.
Cate Blanchett
Because she's a class act from top to bottom, the Elizabeth actress didn't cotton to the baby business. She's been photographed with the blessed child, but it's all for free and completely unplanned.
Those Who Were Offered Money, But Declined
Jennifer Garner
Though her baby (with actor/writer/dude from Cambridge Ben Affleck) is probably the cutest thing in the entire world, the Alias actress declined offers to quietly honor the miracle with a nationally-distributed snapshot. Again, the baby is the cutest thing in the world.
Salma Hayek
This one is a bit up in the air because we're told by a gossip magazine insider that the Fools Rush In actress turned down offers, but there is a really posed photo of her with the baby that's been credited to the AP. So, maybe she did take pics, but for no money.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Though a whole stable of publications offered her money for baby exclusives, the blonde-maned Sex and the City actress said no, and instead trotted baby James Wilkie off into the wonderful world of relative obscurity. Richard's An Idiot Update: She did, of course, pose with her little colt for a sort of gaudy photo session in front of her West Village apartment, right after the bun came out of the oven. But there was no purse—she did it for free.
Courteney Cox
The Ace Ventura: Pet Detective star turned down cash for a peek at baby RoccoRico (or whatever) but did distribute a photo, gratis, when she felt it was time for some attention.
Then, Of Course, There's Tom Cruise
People offered Ol' Risky Business millions for first-look rights on prosthetic baby Suri, but he and wife Joey Potter turned the money down. They did a cover-page Vanity Fair spread with Annie Leibovitz instead. Bless their modest hearts.
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Posted: July 15th, 2008, 11:10am CDT by Richard
Babies! Famous people have been having them! And then they also sell photographs of the babies because, in some twisted Dina Lohanian world of logic, selling the photos of the babies somehow mitigates the other paparazzi attention the little squirming things would inevitably receive. It's a highwire act of faux inferential reasoning, but it seems to be popular. Probably because of those millions of dollars. Brad & Angie (Pitt & Jolie) haven't yet announced plans to sell their new twins' souls (if you believe the Injuns), but they did hawk pictures of their other real kid, Shiloh, donating the proceeds to charity. So yeah, lots of people are doing it. But who hasn't? Which big-time celebs adamantly refuses to publicize, for no valid reason, their progeny? Take a look at a little gallery after the jump.
Weren't Offered Because They Wouldn't Anyway:
Nicole Kidman
The Aussie actress made it clear, before any offers were on the table, that she would not be doing a photo op for her baby (with country singer Keith Urban). Their kid, named Sunday, was born recently. We're told it looks nothing like Tom. (That's not her baby in the picture.)
Halle Berry
Same went for the Monster's Ball actress (except the Tom part). She kept her birth and her baby's visage private. Though we do know that she named it Professor Catface Meowmers after her character in Catwoman, one of the most successful movies of all time.
Cate Blanchett
Because she's a class act from top to bottom, the Elizabeth actress didn't cotton to the baby business. She's been photographed with the blessed child, but it's all for free and completely unplanned.
Those Who Were Offered Money, But Declined
Jennifer Garner
Though her baby (with actor/writer/dude from Cambridge Ben Affleck) is probably the cutest thing in the entire world, the Alias actress declined offers to quietly honor the miracle with a nationally-distributed snapshot. Again, the baby is the cutest thing in the world.
Salma Hayek
This one is a bit up in the air because we're told by a gossip magazine insider that the Fools Rush In actress turned down offers, but there is a really posed photo of her with the baby that's been credited to the AP. So, maybe she did take pics, but for no money.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Though a whole stable of publications offered her money for baby exclusives, the blonde-maned Sex and the City actress said no, and instead trotted baby James Wilkie off into the wonderful world of relative obscurity. Richard's An Idiot Update: She did, of course, pose with her little colt for a sort of gaudy photo session in front of her West Village apartment, right after the bun came out of the oven. But there was no purse—she did it for free.
Courteney Cox
The Ace Ventura: Pet Detective star turned down cash for a peek at baby RoccoRico (or whatever) but did distribute a photo, gratis, when she felt it was time for some attention.
Then, Of Course, There's Tom Cruise
People offered Ol' Risky Business millions for first-look rights on prosthetic baby Suri, but he and wife Joey Potter turned the money down. They did a cover-page Vanity Fair spread with Annie Leibovitz instead. Bless their modest hearts.
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Posted: April 4th, 2008, 4:43pm CDT by Richard
It wasn't made up! Tinsley Mortimer does talk in weird, nonsensical sentences about strange things, like I imagine her to. New York magazine caught up with the socialite at the Takashi Murakami celebration at the Brooklyn Museum last night, and managed to get some choice quotes out of her, mostly about funny little Japanese things. Find some quotes after the jump. (Also, a personal vindication/hideous embarrassment: this was sent directly to me, and not to "tips." People are catching on.)
On her outfit for the evening:
I thought, I need to wear a lot of color. I'm sick of it being freezing. It's been teasing me every day. And now it's freezing again, though it wasn't the day before.
On Murakami's work:
I'm obsessed with everything in here. I want it all. I like the Japanimation sculptures, those anime creatures come to life. I love Japanimation. I love Sailor Moon. She, like, spins and glows light or something.
On there possibly being an anime character of her in Japan, where she's very popular:
Wow. I'm sure there's not. But I'd definitely like to have some superpower. Maybe I could snap my fingers and be instantly dressed in a pink poofy dress, and my hair would be automatically curled, since it's naturally straight. Snap my fingers and my hair would be curled. That's a great superpower. It might not change the world, but it would help me a lot. The hair takes some time.
On Guadalupe (her maid) and clouds:
I went outside yesterday and I was very tired but also happy because I could see a cloud that looked like my old hamster, Tim Daniels. He was named after one of daddy's tennis friends who liked to go see musicals and sometimes he would take me and Dabney to get ice cream cones and I'd always spill but Tim Daniels would say it's ok. He had a nice friend that he lived with named Arthur Meckleburg. We named our iguana Arthur Meckleburg. I was looking at the cloud for a while and then Guadalupe said 'Meez Tinsley, you have been outside for hours!' So I laughed and she made me some fishsticks and then I cried for a while and then she taught me how to do her Mexi-Dancing. It was a great birthday.
(OK, that last one's not real.)
