It's a well-known fact that young people can't listen for shit. But Britain's Lord Chief Justice (yes, that's his actual title) has decreed that twentysomethings are so bad at it, he's actually considering presenting information on a screen, for the young jurors used to texting and web-surfing their lives away. "Most are technologically proficient. Many get much information from the internet... They are not listening. They are reading." Reports the Telegraph, "In one case a juror went online using a Blackberry-device during a rape case, causing the conviction to be quashed." God forbid we inconvenience some Twitter-twits with old-fashioned courtroom rules. Maybe we should just all learn to listen. It doesn't just help you as a juror—it's great for personal relationships, too!
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12 items tagged "olds"
Gawker
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Internet Generation Threatens Rule of Law [The Olds]
Posted: November 7th, 2008, 11:03am CST by Sheila
Tags: the olds
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John McCain Liable To Become Confused Without Teleprompter [The Olds]
Posted: October 15th, 2008, 8:03am CDT by Ryan Tate
Tags: the olds
There's a big dinner in New York tomorrow in honor of Al Smith, the first Catholic presidential candidate. Mayor Michael Bloomberg, News Corp. Chairman Rupert Murdoch, CBS News' Katie Couric and various other smug media elitists will be there, along with Sen. Hillary Clinton. The Democratic and Republican presidential nominees have been asked to give 15-minute speeches, but only one has requested an a teleprompter to keep him from just repeating "Who is the REAL Barack Obama, my friends" over and over for the entire speech. Organizers are confused, the Post reports, because they've never met a politician who couldn't give a 15-minute address without elaborate technological aids, and in fact no one has asked for a teleprompter for this event, ever, but really McCain just knows he'll be tired out from personally insulting and snubbing Barack Obama in a variety of innovative new ways at tonight's debate.
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Rupert Murdoch, Bleeding Heart [The Olds]
Posted: September 11th, 2008, 5:11pm CDT by Ryan Tate
Tags: the olds
If you're even remotely curious about oft-vilified media mogul Rupert Murdoch or his News Corporation empire, there are plenty of gems to pluck from Esquire's lengthy interview with the mogul. There is, for example, Murdoch's baldfaced assertion that Fox News Channel is "very, very fair;" his wild accusation that Times publisher Arthur Sulzberger tried to bar the hiring of white males for five years; and the mild rebuke that Fox host Bill O'Reilly "shouldn't be so sensitive" to Keith Olbermann's attacks. The biggest takeaway, though, is that Murdoch is softening in his old age, despite a punishing work regimen. The quotes in the Esquire piece reinforce the idea, floated by Michael Wolff in Vanity Fair earlier this month, of this change in Murdoch toward the "magnanimous" and "further nuanced:" Somebody talked me into writing an autobiography about six or seven years ago. And I said I'd try. We talked into a tape recorder, and after a couple of months, I said, To hell with it. I was so depressed. It was like saying, "This is the end." I was more interested in what the hell was coming the next day or the next week.
...When I look back on it, I wish I had had more quality time with my children. I remember once taking the two boys on a three- or four-day hike around Aspen Mountain. I remember every minute of it, and they remember every minute of it. I should have done more of that sort of thing.
...My nephew just got back from China. He's been there for two years on a teaching program, teaching English to poor Chinese kids in agricultural areas in the southeast. And I said, "How poor are they? Are they really on only half a bowl of rice a day?" And he said yes. He said that perhaps on holidays or the Chinese New Year, they'll get a ration of meat. He said there are lots of areas like that.
You've got tens of millions of people like that. And then you've also got great economic expansion in these countries, which is causing a huge demand for energy and for food. When people come off the land and go work in a sweatshop and get ten dollars a day or something, the first thing they want is a bit of protein. And that's why, when you go to the supermarket, you're paying 30 percent more for milk or a burger or cheese than you were a year ago.Rupert Murdoch implicitly criticizing China over human rights violations? Revealing emotional weakness? Admitting he consorts with, and emotionally bonds with, children? It's too much. Next thing you know Bill O'Reilly will be defending a Democratic presidential candidate from a right-wing smear campaign.
[Esquire]
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Brit Hume Getting Too Old For This [The Olds]
Posted: September 5th, 2008, 10:36am CDT by Pareene
Tags: the olds
Brit Hume is exhausted. The flinty Fox anchor has always seemed short-fused and quietly seething (right?) but covering campaign '08 has drained all the joy out of his life. (As have the tensions in his marriage and his fling with Megyn Kendall?) A profile by useless Washington Post media something Howard Kurtz finds the original face of Fair and Balanced Fox openly disgusted with the empty gimmicks of the Republican National Convention: "Baby pictures of John McCain? What in the world are they doing? Oh, this is just atrocious." And: "I'm 65, for God's sake. I don't want to do all that stuff anymore." And "It's dispiriting. This is just partisan poison, and after a while you get tired of covering it." Jesus, he sounds like us. Remember when Fox was the terrifying propaganda organ of a far-right cult of personality? Now it's just the sad official network of embittered, impotent, cranky old white men. (In the event of a McCain victory, of course, it will become both.) [WP]
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Depressing Craigslist Ad? Try Chance of a Lifetime! [The Olds]
Posted: August 17th, 2008, 10:53am CDT by ian spiegelman
Tags: the olds
Look at it this way. Chill with the old dude a couple nights a week, donate his $10,000 to Meals on Wheels, and then write about your life-changing experience on the front page of The New York Times Magazine. Next, you parlay that little gem into best-selling memoir. The critics don't know how not to rave about such a thing. You'll get on Oprah, housewives will throw money at you. And, most importantly, you just might learn a thing or two about the little bundle of troubles that is you. Click through for full-size image. [Craigslist]
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Ageist Media Destroying John McCain [The Olds]
Posted: July 30th, 2008, 7:43am CDT by Ryan Tate
Tags: the olds
Remember how sexist media pundits maybe helped Hillary Clinton ruin her shot at the Democratic presidential nomination? "When Hillary Clinton speaks, men hear, 'Take out the garbage,'" loutish author Marc Rudov said on Fox News in January, leading the way for other controversial statements by Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann of MSNBC. Well now the shouting heads are doing the same thing to John McCain. And it's those bastards at MSNBC again! Just listen to Joe Scarborough make fun of McCain for getting cluster-bombed by liberal jars of apple sauce during what should have been a simple grocery store photo-op (via the Observer): “You know what that looks like?” Mr. Scarborough asked his panel as b-roll took over the screen showing Senator McCain in the dairy aisle of a supermarket in Bethlehem, Pa. “‘No, Granddad—no, no, not down here. Talk to the grandkids. Show ’em the penny trick!’”
“O.K., [liberal MSNBC host Keith] Olbermann, O.K.,” said Republican strategist and McCain 2000 mastermind Mike Murphy, a guest panelist charged with defending the Republican nominee. “Beat up the poor …”Also, the press makes fun of McCain for not knowing how to work the Google and thinking that email and text messages are mainly for dirty hippies in San Francisco and should be filtered by his staff. But, c'mon, that didn't keep McCain from banning taxes on this "internet," or from "understanding the importance of the blogs."
And here is Jon Stewart of the liberal Daily Show making fun of McCain to the youngs by saying he has "John McCain's disease" — which doesn't even exist yet!
Everyone should please stop making fun of McCain just because he would be the oldest person ever to ascend to the presidency. Or, at the very least, if you do make fun of him, please do so via FAX or at a volume he can hear.
Kidding! What McCain needs (as many others have noted) is a killer line like Ronald Reagan's "I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." But newer and hipper. Maybe ask Jon Stewart to write it, he's big with the kids these days and totally owes you one, McCain.
[Observer]
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Only Olds Say 'Jump The Shark' Now [The Olds]
Posted: July 28th, 2008, 6:05am CDT by Ryan Tate
Tags: the olds
"In Indiana Jones, the hero’s improbable achievement was to survive a nuclear blast by hiding in a refrigerator. Hence, 'to nuke the fridge' means to introduce a wildly implausible element to a once-respected franchise, or more generally, to signal the abandonment of past standards of quality." [Times]
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In case you needed a reminder of how old ... [The Olds]
Posted: July 11th, 2008, 12:37pm CDT by Sheila
Tags: the olds
In case you needed a reminder of how old the ladies over at the pre-, post-, and peri-menopausal site WowOwoW are, they've posted their wedding photos! They all look beautiful, like people often did in the 1800s. (That's Judith Martin on the left, also known as "Miss Manners.") [WowOwoW]
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A Guide To The Media Methuselahs [The Olds]
Posted: July 8th, 2008, 9:29am CDT by Hamilton Nolan
Tags: the olds
"I don't want to die. I love what I'm doing," said Viacom chief Sumner Redstone on CNBC yesterday. My, what a positive and also extremely sad quote! Coming from an old, old man like Redstone, it's more of a last-ditch prayer to Father Time than a peppy statement of on-the-job satisfaction. After the jump, a complete guide to the top five elderly figures in media moguldom. They're a cast that could end up having spent decades in power—probably because the younger counterparts who should be overtaking them decided to go into the tech industry on the West Coast instead (except Nick Denton). May these old men all live, um, a lot longer:
Name: Sumner Redstone
Age: 85
Position: Chairman, National Amusements (Viacom, CBS, MTV, etc.)
What kind of old man is he?: Befuddled
Trick in staving off old age: Fights with daughters.
Key quote: "I'm gonna fight death as long as I can. I like it here. I don't want to go anywhere else"
Health threat: Face of porcelain
Name: Rupert Murdoch
Age: 77
Position: Chairman, News Corp
What kind of old man is he?: Vindictive
Trick in staving off old age: A much younger wife.
Key quote: "You can't be an outsider and be successful over 30 years without leaving a certain amount of scar tissue around the place."
Health threat: Enveloped in skin folds.
Name: Sam Zell
Age: 66
Position: Owner, Tribune Company
What kind of old man is he?: Gnomish
Trick in staving off old age: Fights with his employees.
Key quote: "Fuck you [OLD AGE!]"
Health threat: Balding
Name: Barry Diller
Age: 66
Postion: Chairman and CEO, IAC
What kind of old man is he?: Angry
Trick in staving off old age: Fights with fellow businessmen.
Key quote: "I thought they were talking about eye charts. I don't see anything full-blown." [On being called a "visionary"]
Health threat: Tooth gappage.
Name: Hugh Hefner
Age: 82
Postion: Owner, Playboy Enterprises
What kind of old man is he?: Desperately youthful
Trick in staving off old age: Parties, hordes of women, pajamas.
Key quote: “In many ways, I'm younger than I was 20 years ago."
Health threat: Priapism.
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How Obama Will Destroy McCain's Sad Videogame [The Olds]
Posted: June 24th, 2008, 10:43pm CDT by Ryan Tate
Tags: the olds
Creaky old presidential candidate John McCain can't work The Google, so it's kind of amazing he beat his young, internet-savvy rival Barack Obama to the punch in making a videogame for his campaign website. Unfortunately, McCain's game is a sad imitation of Space Invaders, a pixelated smash hit c. 1983, but with pigs in place of the aliens, since it's about how McCain shoots lasers at pork barrel politics, or something. You just know Obama's game will be better, and the Daily Show tonight imagined exactly how. "McCain, you know I love you, but you're f—-ing old," host Jon Stewart said. If the Obama camp picks up this game idea and runs with it, it could do for political videogames what "Yes We Can" did for political YouTube music videos: make them not excruciatingly boring, briefly.
newVideoPlayer("/obamagame.flv", 506, 423,"");
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Sad John McCain Can't Work The Google [The Olds]
Posted: June 16th, 2008, 10:15pm CDT by Ryan Tate
Tags: the olds
David Gergen just made a good point on CNN about John McCain: We all laughed when the Republican presidential candidate said he didn't use a Mac OR a PC, and that his second wife did all his internet surfing for him, but McCain's luddite tendencies are screwing up his campaign and thus could wreck the country someday. Exhibit A is Clayton Williams, who was to host a McCain fundraiser but who was discovered to have once made a crass rape joke. It turns out the rape joke has long been in Williams' Wikipedia entry, ranked number three by Google in a search on Williams' name. Whoops! McCain clearly needs to learn The Google. As internet-savvy Barack Obama can testify after his jettisoning of vice-presidential-screener James Johnson, it won't weed out all the tainted associates, but it's great for that critical first cut. Clip after the jump.
newVideoPlayer("rapejokes.flv", 506, 423,"");
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Whoopi's Weirdo Mom's Day Video [The Olds]
Posted: May 5th, 2008, 3:56pm CDT by Sheila
Tags: the olds
Do you have a neighbor lady who's around middle age, doesn't seem to have a job (so she's home a lot during the day), and smokes a lot of pot? Is she full of loopy life lessons and socio-political theories she regales you with when you go over there to buy drugs? Is her name Whoopi Goldberg? Anyway, her Mother's Day video on WowOwow is priceless. "The day to go to Disneyland? Is today! 'Cause it's Mother's Day! No one goes to Disneyland on Mother's Day." Hey, everybody! This Mother's Day, freak your mom out by getting high and making her a video. She'll never forgive forget it. [WowOwow]
