Rod Townsend's annual account of eavesdropping on Fire Island's boys of summer is back for 2008. [Manhattan Offender]
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Rod Townsend's annual account of eavesdropping on Fire Island's boys of summer is back for 2008. [Manhattan Offender]
Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. All dialogue 100% verbatim.
EXT. FIRE ISLAND PINES PAVILION NIGHTCLUB
The Saturday night/Sunday morning 3 a.m. new moon sky is extra dark, lit only with an abundance of stars. The only light comes from what is also the primary source of noise in the still night: Pavilion. Outside a variety of gays presides. Some sit at wire mesh tables, smoking and chatting. Others stand in groups while others walk seemingly aimless through the night.
A group of gays wearing assorted low-rise jeans and no shirts sit at a table barely touched by the outside lighting. All are in their early thirties. MARLBOROGAY and PARLIAMENTGAY glow in the dim light, their muscular bodies pink-tan and glistened with sweat. SMOKELESSGAY sits with them, with comparatively thin and pale.
MARLBOROGAY (Lighting a Marlboro Light) Do you want a cigarette?SMOKELESSGAY
You know I don't smoke.
PARLIAMENTGAY
(Smoking a Parliament Light.) Sometimes you do. Last weekend. Posh.
SMOKELESSGAY
I smoke when I do coke because I get fidgety. Is JAMES still inside?
MARLBOROGAY
Yeah, he's dancing with that older guy. He totally loves those ... Look at that.
PARLIAMENTGAY looks toward the door of the nightclub where ADIDASGAY exits and jaunts past their table wearing tight silver Adidas sweatpants with red stripes. After passing the table he begins to walk quickly down the boardwalk.
ADIDASGAY (Yelling into the night.) José! ... José!PARLIAMENTGAY
Wish my name was José. Damn!
MARLBOROGAY
You and your Latino obsession. Oooo. Oh! Some sweat just rolled down my back and somehow got into my asscrack. Nice.
SMOKELESSGAY
(Begins to stand up.) I'm going to go find JAMES.
PARLIAMENTGAY
Sit down and leave him alone. If he hooks up with that guy then I've got a room to myself tonight.
MARLBOROGAY
And if he brings him home, you're sleeping on the Aerobed, sweetie.
PARLIAMENTGAY
First of all, older guys are supposed to bring you home. They should be to the point where they either own a house or can at least afford a share where they aren't sharing a room, or a bed. And don't forget - Ozone. No one wants to walk to our fucking house. It's just too far. Oh. Look at that one.
PARLIAMENTGAY looks toward BACKPACKGAY, standing near the exterior stairs.
SMOKELESSGAY Latino. Probably 23 at most. And look - a backpack.MARLBOROGAY
He's homeless, Jacob. Missed the last ferry. Probably on purpose. And thinks he can just find someone to spend the night with because he's semi-hot.
PARLIAMENTGAY
Semi? Look at that ...
MARLBOROGAY
No backpackers. No, no, no, no, no.
PARLIAMENTGAY
Are you sure JAMES is still in there? What if he already left with that guy?
MARLBOROGAY
You know he'll be in there until the very last song, making out on the dance-floor. He's probably in the middle of the floor groping that old daddy.
SMOKELESSGAY
He was at least 45. His chest hair was, like, grey. We should go in.
ADIDASGAY emerges from the darkness of the boardwalk and passes the table and jaunts back into the nightclub.
PARLIAMENTGAY Guess he didn't find José. Let's go in.The three leave their table and enter Pavilion. Outside, BACKPACK gay begins making out with another gay, shirtless with low-rise jeans.
Previously: A Good Houseguest Brings "Stuff" For The Weekend
Rod Townsend records the gays in and around their natural environment of Fire Island and reports back. Wanna hear something shocking? Summer's almost over already. OMG, and so are those hideous pants you're wearing!
EXT. FIRE ISLAND PINES HARBOR
The Saturday noon ferry has arrived to the harbor and streaming onto the dock are new arrivals. DAYTRIPPERS arrive with umbrellas, coolers, and backpacks, often with glimpses of swimwear visible under low-waisted cargo shorts. RESIDENTS and HOUSEGUESTS bring assorted luggage and bags from Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. Standing in the harbor is an assortment of GAYS, a few of whom wait to board, but most of whom await new arrivals.
LILLYGAY stands wearing a white oversized vee-neck teashirt and Lilly Pulitzer "Crabby Pants" swim trunks. With him is ETROGAY wearing a pink tank top and Etro striped trunks. Both point and wave to HOUSEGUEST who approaches them, drops a Barneys shopping bag filled with food and a canvas Jack Spade coal bag, and joins in a group hug.
HOUSEGUEST Oh, hi. Hi! I like that shirt on you. I like that color. It works well with your dark hair.LILLYGAY
How are you?
HOUSEGUEST
Near perfect. How've you been, sweetie?
ETROGAY
Well, I just saw you yesterday.
HOUSEGUEST
Oh, I know. I mean how was last night?
ETROGAY
Last night? We went over to Coconut Grove. Underwear party.
HOUSEGUEST
Coconut Grove?
ETROGAY
Yeah. Kind of a hike, but it was a nice walk on the beach back. It was super dark out.
HOUSEGUEST
You mean Cherry Grove.
ETROGAY
Oh. Why do I always call it Coconut Grove?
LILLYGAY
Scary Grove.
BIOLOGICALWOMAN approaches the three and points to the ferry.
BIOLOGICALWOMAN Excuse me? Is this the ferry, right here?LILLYGAY
Don't you remember coming in on it? Yes, yes. Get right on.
OTHERGUEST passes by with OTHERRESIDENT.
OTHERGUEST I would have made the eleven o'clock, but I had a long night.OTHERRESIDENT
With Tommy and Mikey?
OTHERGUEST
No, no. I had bought a bunch of "stuff" for the weekend, but let's just say I don't have any more.
LILLYGAY and ETROGAY have been joined by four FORTIESGAYS wearing a variety of print board shorts and swim trunks and shirtless for a quick bout of hugs and hellos. "Brunch," "pantry," and "blueberries" can be overheard.
LILLYGAY
(Points to the giant looming Pavilion nightclub.) Thursday night we were in the bathroom over at that place.
ETROGAY
At High Tea.
LILLYGAY
Yeah, whatever. And I was like, "We need dinner." And these two old guys were in there and said, "We have dinner. It's a catered meal!"
HOUSEGUEST
You left with them?
LILLYGAY
Turns out it's some kind of birthday party. There was all kinds of port wine and asparagus and rice pilaf. And everybody there was really wasted. It was great.
HOUSEGUEST
Really?
LILLYGAY
It was so upscale.
HOUSEGUEST
Really.
ETROGAY
The guys were super-friendly.
HOUSEGUEST
Really. I want to meet them.
LILLYGAY
Oh, God. I don't even remember their names. Is anyone else coming out?
ETROGAY
I don't know if Snaps is coming or not. But I'm starving. I haven't eaten since last night.
LILLYGAY
Liar!
ETROGAY
What?
LILLYGAY
Liar! I saw you eat breakfast.
ETROGAY
Well, I did eat the rest of that pumpkin cake. That was nothing.
LILLYGAY
Liar, liar! It was two pieces! I don't know how you do it.
HOUSEGUEST
I brought lots of food, but nothing brunchy. I'm starving.
LILLYGAY
Well maybe you and Chubz here can wait for those birthday boys but I need to catch some rays. I've got PowerBars back at the house.
As the three walk away from the harbor, BIOLOGICALWOMAN is running toward the now departing boat, an iced coffee sweating in her hand.