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97 items tagged "politics"

Obama Won Because You're Stupid [Politics]

Posted: November 18th, 2008, 12:50pm CST by Pareene

Tags: politics

The fun thing about George Bush was that he was stupid, so very stupid, and so we could all complain all the time about how stupid all the people who voted for him were. Americans are fat, lazy morons who watch Two-and-a-Half Men. But now? Now 53% of voters chose our guy! So it would sure be dumb for the Republicans who spent eight years complaining about how liberal elitists have no respect for the gut wisdom and heartland values of Real Americans to now accuse the majority of people who voted for Barack Obama of being complete idiots, right? Not so much, if you're former talk show host John Ziegler! He has a fun new website about how Obama voters can't "correctly" answer loaded, misleading trivia questions about the candidates, which proves that they're stupid, and he has some data from pollster John Zogby to back him up!

The site is called "How Obama Won," and it will surely be the "Fuck the South" of the YouTube Generation, except that "Fuck the South" was at least funny, and this is just dumb. Ziegler "randomly selected" 12 Obama voters and proved conclusively that they are all dumb idiots because they didn't know various Republican talking points but they did have vague recollection of bad things said about Republicans. Media bias!

Here are the questions Zogby asked of 512 Obama voters:

57.4% could NOT correctly say which party controls congress (50/50 shot just by guessing)

81.8% could NOT correctly say Joe Biden quit a previous campaign because of plagiarism (25% chance by guessing)

82.6% could NOT correctly say that Barack Obama won his first election by getting opponents kicked off the ballot (25% chance by guessing)

88.4% could NOT correctly say that Obama said his policies would likely bankrupt the coal industry and make energy rates skyrocket (25% chance by guessing)

56.1% could NOT correctly say Obama started his political career at the home of two former members of the Weather Underground (25% chance by guessing).

As a fun example of the level of intellectual honesty we're dealing with, answering that "Sarah Palin" was the candidate who said they could see Russia from their house was considered "incorrect," because Tina Fey said that. What Sarah Palin actually said was "you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska," which is even dumber, because it's for serious.

But it's because of the liberal media bias that these people knew the Russia thing, which happened last September, and didn't know about the Joe Biden plagiarism scandal, which happened 20 years ago.

Anyways! Shock: voters are not terribly well-informed! You know, the American Electorate didn't suddenly become way smarter or dumber between 2004 and 2008. (The serious dumbening happened a generation or two ago BUT WE DIGRESS.) But maybe this time around, with everything having sucked for eight years and things only getting worse every day, the priorities of the silent moronity shifted. Maybe everyone decided to pick a dude who seemed smart, instead of the dude who just seemed less annoying. Or maybe the Democrats finally nominated the dude who seems less annoying! Which is, like, sorry, suckers—it worked for you for 28 years, now it's our turn.

(As FiveThirtyEight says, by the way, this probably counts as a push poll. Zogby? Seriously?)

Why Clinton Might Be A Terrible Mistake At State [Politics]

Posted: November 18th, 2008, 3:29am CST by Ryan Tate

Tags: politics

If Barack Obama appoints Hillary Clinton Secretary of State, as the Guardian claims he soon will, his cabinet would be awesome like Lincoln's! The Times' Gail Collins has already said so, and, what do you know, Obama in January read a book called "Team Of Rivals," about Lincoln's oppositional cabinet. But you know who else read and admired that book ahead of the primaries? Hillary Clinton! It's supposedly one of her favorite works, and yet her "Team of Rivals" resulted only in a humiliatingly inept bumbling of Clinton's presumed lead in the Democratic primaries. Everyone is starting to realize that "no-drama" Obama's plan could backfire too, because:

Bill Clinton took all that Chinese money

newVideoPlayer("/hitchens_hillaysecstate_gawker.flv", 480, 360,""); Chris Hitchens rails on this point in the video above from MSNBC's Hardball, mentioning a 1996 senate report on illegal campaign donations by Chinese agents and Bill Clinton's pardoning the likes of tax fugitive and Hillary Clinton donor March Rich. The argument, presumably, is that Clinton wouldn't be able to deal credibly with China, either because of bias or because she'd be fighting the perception of bias.

Bill Clinton took all that Middle Eastern money

The Times, too, raised the issue of Bill Clinton's fundraising in Tuesday's paper, including his $10 million in paid speeches around the world for organizations like the National Bank of Kuwait and contributions to his foundation from "the Saudi royal family, the king of Morocco, a foundation linked to the United Arab Emirates and the governments of Kuwait and Qatar."

Bill Clinton has creepy globalist billionaire friends

Bill Clinton also likes to fly around on private jets with scummy billionaire pussyhounds, his buddies. At least one of them, Ron Burkle, takes money from Dubai's government and has invested in a Chinese media company. Clinton has earned "at least $12.6 million since 2002 from his work as an adviser to Mr. Burkle," according to the Times.

Hillary Clinton is so not diplomatic

In the first days of Bill Clinton's presidency, Hillary threw a lamp at her husband during a heated argument, according to Newsweek, the Chicago Sun-Times and biographer David Brock, who also claimed (citing a park police officer) that Hillary yelled "You stupid motherfucker!" during another fight, on inauguration day.

Crazy gossip about the Clinton's personal life, right? But a more sympathetic biographer, Carl Bernstein, described an outburst in a much more official context. Via the New Yorker:

Clinton’s biggest blunder, as Bernstein tells it, was to offend the very legislators whose support she needed most. At a retreat for Democratic senators in the spring of 1993, Clinton was asked whether it was realistic to pursue such an ambitious health-care program, given her husband’s many other legislative initiatives. She responded that the Administration was prepared to “demonize” those who opposed the task force’s recommendations.

“That was it for me in terms of Hillary Clinton,” Senator Bill Bradley, of New Jersey, told Bernstein. “You don’t tell members of the Senate you are going to demonize them. It was obviously so basic to who she is. The arrogance. The assumption that people with questions are enemies. The disdain. The hypocrisy.”

Maybe Clinton learned from that experience and is more politic after 15 years. And yet her 2008 campaign was notoriously beset by the angriest sort of infighting, and Clinton was not above spreading the bad vibes. Via the Atlantic's campaign postmortem:

Mustering enthusiasm, Clinton declared that the campaign was mistaken not to have competed harder for the youth vote and that—overruling her New Hampshire staff—she would take questions at town-hall meetings designed to draw comparative,” but not negative, contrasts with Obama. Hearing little response, Clinton began to grow angry, according to a participant’s notes. She complained of being outmaneuvered in Iowa and being painted as the establishment candidate. The race, she insisted, now had “three front-runners.” More silence ensued. “This has been a very instructive call, talking to myself,” she snapped, and hung up.

When she finally did lose to Obama, Clinton could not bring herself to concede until the absolute last minute.

Hillary Clinton ran a race-baiting campaign against Obama

It's all in the eye of the beholder: Bill Clinton comparing Barack Obama to Jesse Jackson after Obama's South Carolina primary win; Hillary saying Obama is not a Muslim "as far as I know;" Hillary saying Obama was losing support among "working, hard-working Americans, white Americans." Maybe it's not at all racist. But it's definitely not tactful.

Hillary Clinton lied about Bosnia and so forth!

Remember this? Where Clinton claimed to have come under sniper fire while landing in Bosnia when her husband was president in 1996? It turned out CNN had video showing a peaceful greeting ceremony, involving a child with a poem. According to Chris Hitchens this means the she will never be trusted in the Balkans again, or something.

The Campaign to Keep Hillary Out of the State Department [Politics]

Posted: November 18th, 2008, 3:29am CST by Ryan Tate

Tags: politics

Bill Clinton took all that Chinese money

Bill Clinton took all that Middle Eastern money

Bill Clinton has creepy globalist billionaire friends

Hillary Clinton is so not diplomatic

Crazy gossip about the Clinton's personal life, right? But a more sympathetic biographer, Carl Bernstein, described an outburst in a much more official context. Via the New Yorker:

Clinton’s biggest blunder, as Bernstein tells it, was to offend the very legislators whose support she needed most. At a retreat for Democratic senators in the spring of 1993, Clinton was asked whether it was realistic to pursue such an ambitious health-care program, given her husband’s many other legislative initiatives. She responded that the Administration was prepared to “demonize” those who opposed the task force’s recommendations.

“That was it for me in terms of Hillary Clinton,” Senator Bill Bradley, of New Jersey, told Bernstein. “You don’t tell members of the Senate you are going to demonize them. It was obviously so basic to who she is. The arrogance. The assumption that people with questions are enemies. The disdain. The hypocrisy.”

Mustering enthusiasm, Clinton declared that the campaign was mistaken not to have competed harder for the youth vote and that—overruling her New Hampshire staff—she would take questions at town-hall meetings designed to draw comparative,” but not negative, contrasts with Obama. Hearing little response, Clinton began to grow angry, according to a participant’s notes. She complained of being outmaneuvered in Iowa and being painted as the establishment candidate. The race, she insisted, now had “three front-runners.” More silence ensued. “This has been a very instructive call, talking to myself,” she snapped, and hung up.

When she finally did lose to Obama, Clinton could not bring herself to concede until the absolute last minute.

Hillary Clinton ran a race-baiting campaign against Obama

Hillary Clinton lied about Bosnia and so forth!

Obama Didn't Want You In His Cabinet Anyhow, Dick Parsons [Politics]

Posted: November 17th, 2008, 10:40am CST by Hamilton Nolan

Tags: politics

Obama's plan to have a cabinet full of politico-celebrity superstars is turning out to be the least successful Obama plan ever. Already, Al Gore and Colin Powell have taken themselves out of consideration. That was a major emotional blow, because they are both known to get the party started right. And now former Time Warner chief Dick Parsons, one of the most successful black men in corporate America (by some standards), has taken himself out of consideration too. And he wasn't even asked!

"Parsons is keeping his exuberance in check. He said he'll 'most likely' come down for the inauguration, but not move to work for the administration. 'Highly unlikely,' he said with a grin. 'I'm a New Yorker.'"

Oh well that's just great Dick Parsons, we weren't so enthusiastic about having you anyhow. [HERE WE HAVE A PICTURE OF THE TWX STOCK CHART DURING HIS REIGN:]

Parsons wasn't even in the top five names in the mythical Obama administration wannabe flowchart, so it's not a great loss. Hopefully the other two default Successful Black Men in Corporate America That People Have Heard Of will be more willing to listen. [WP]

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Rosie O’Donnell says she’d enjoy having a beer with Sarah Palin

Posted: November 15th, 2008, 6:43am CST by JayBird

Tags: politics

Rosie O’Donnell has said she’d like to have a beer with former Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin if she could. O’Donnell had nothing but nice things to say about her, while admitting that she’s psyched her party didn’t win the election. She says Palin has a lot of spunk and has lived an interesting life and became internationally famous overnight.

Despite their political differences, Rosie O’Donnell wouldn’t mind grabbing drinks with Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

“I’d like to have a beer with her. I’d like to meet her kids. She seems like a pretty nice woman,” O’ Donnell told Extra. “Although I have to say, I am thrilled her party did not win. [But] you got to give it to her for spunk.”

The ultra-liberal O’ Donnell admitted, “I think I probably would like her if I met her….She had an amazing life for herself and her family in Alaska. Very successful. Before you knew it, she was the most famous person in the country.”

But that’s not to say the Barack Obama supporter would have been celebrating a John McCain presidential win.

“If McCain won…I would be in the depression unit of the ICU,” O’ Donnell quipped.

[From Us Weekly]

When you put it in those terms, I think I’d like to have a beer with Sarah Palin too. I disagreed with just about every word out of that woman’s mouth, but Rosie is right: she’s been in a position only one other woman has ever been in as a potential vice president. Even though I sometimes had violent thoughts after hearing her speak, I’d love to pick her brains and ask her about a million questions. Though something tells me that after the Katie Couric interview debacle, Palin is going to be a little more wary of answering questions.

Here’s Sarah Palin siting with a friend pool side while staying at a luxurious hotel in Miami while attending the Republican Governor’s Conference on Thursday. Images thanks to Bauer-Griffin.

Can Obama's Laptop Chats Fill FDR's Shoes? [Politics]

Posted: November 14th, 2008, 4:43pm CST by Sheila

Tags: politics

Soon, we will all be able to sit in the cold glow of our computer screens and fire up the YouTube for a laptop chat by President-elect Obama, reports the Washington Post. It's part of his technology initiative! What Obama must do now is calm a panicked nation in a similar way that FDR's plainspoken chats did. Obama's will obviously be different than the large-scale, almost churchlike (yes-we-can!) speeches we've been used to seeing during the campaign. He's also done his best to manage the high-flying, paternal-Jesus expectations resulting from weepy election night emotions. FDR's fireside chats were, of course, propaganda, but people wanted reassurance, and he gave it to them in a manner that was bolstering and authoritative. See, if Obama doesn't give us something, we'll be left to the hysterical newsmedia and screaming pundits. Which is actually much worse than feel-good yes-we-can propaganda.

A snippet of Obama's first post-election press conference—mostly business.

FDR's fireside chat on home and farm foreclosure, 1933:

FDR's fireside chat on the banking panicmeltdown (sound familiar?), 1933:

Bush to Smirk His Way Through the Rest of His Term [Politics]

Posted: November 13th, 2008, 3:05pm CST by Hamilton Nolan

Tags: politics

newVideoPlayer("/Bush_Smirks.flv", 506, 423,""); United States President George W. Bush gave a speech today about the perilous financial crisis that threatens to plunge our nation into a prolonged recession from hell. As you'll see when you click to watch this skillful video compilation, Mr. Bush has a genetic inability to deliver a single god damn sentence containing Very Serious News without adding his stupid smirk at the end. In and of itself it's sort of a tragicomic statement on the nature of the last eight years. But it's much scarier when you consider the reality of our situation: we don't really even have a president right now.

Obama's people have been repeating the mantra "One president at a time" over and over, like some sort of magic political talisman. Barack has no desire to get too involved at the moment, because politically that would mean taking on lot of responsibility without technically having any power.

And Bush is just sleepwalking through his last few months. He's not just a lame duck, he's a lame duck who everyone despises. He couldn't get anything accomplished even if he wanted to. Which he doesn't. He wants to play with Barney and keep quiet enough to maybe land that Commissioner of Baseball gig a few years down the line.

Neither of those things would be all that bad if we weren't mired in a financial crisis of epic proportions. Because when a crisis happens somebody has to be in charge. And if Bush isn't, and Barack isn't, you know who is? Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson! John Crudele has already taken to referring to him as "de facto president of the US." Which is not too far off the mark!

And hey, maybe it's not such a bad thing to have a guy like Paulson in charge of all the most important decisions, considering they're in his field of expertise? Psht! This is the same guy whose original idea for solving this mess was to give all power to the Treasury to do whatever it wanted, with no challenges permitted. Paulson changed the focus of the bailout package for the third time yesterday. Third time! It doesn't inspire confidence, nor should it.

In conclusion, our fake-elected bad president has no desire or incentive to do anything. Our actual president-elect: the same, until January. Our de facto president is incentivized and predisposed to focus solely on helping Wall Street. And everyone's money is disappearing in the meantime. Also, Iran.

Hope nothing bad happens for the next three months!

Obama Doesn't Need A Celebrity Cabinet Anyhow [Politics]

Posted: November 13th, 2008, 9:12am CST by Hamilton Nolan

Tags: politics

What's the point of having a "Climate Czar" if it won't be Al Gore? The rich and chunky Tennessean has taken himself out of the running for the made-up position in Obama's cabinet, meaning it will probably go to some dead-ender ex-governor who never even won an Academy Award. Is this the beginning of the end of Obama's alleged "Celebrity Cabinet" plan? We're going to say yes, and thank god for that.

Remember a couple of days ago when that flowchart of unknown provenance came out that allegedly showed the frontrunners for all the cabinet positions, and they were all like political superstars? But then Colin Powell took himself out of the running for the Secretary of Education, and Gore is out, and do people really want RFK, Jr. running the Environmental Protection Agency? If you're going that route, why not Captain Planet? Why not Aquaman?

Other bad-idea frontrunners on that chart: Screamin' Howard Dean for Health and Human Services, Smilin' Bill Richardson for Dept. of the Interior, and NYC police head Ray Kelly for Homeland Security. It's like the lineup of ABC's Sunday morning talk show! Also John Kerry and Chuck Hagel and Tom Daschle and every other politician that any significant portion of Americans have heard of is on that list.

Barack Obama doesn't need a celebrity cabinet. He's the celebrity. Any further political celebrities require air, water, and attention that should be reserved for Barack Obama and his lovely family and a dog to be named later.
[Pic via MSNBC]

Couric Schools Palin [Politics]

Posted: November 12th, 2008, 7:27am CST by Ryan Tate

Tags: politics

"I think she should keep her head down, work really hard and learn about governing." [Post]

Pro-Gay Marriage Forces Finally Organizing, After Losing [Politics]

Posted: November 11th, 2008, 4:52pm CST by Pareene

Tags: politics

We mentioned it before, but it was sad when, on Election Night, America once again said thanks, but no thanks, to recognizing the rights of gay people. Specifically, California's Proposition 8, which banned the state's previously legal gay marriages, passed. Now, hey, everyone's going nuts. The gays are currently blaming Black People, Mormons, the governor, Barack Obama, and others, and they're protesting and demonstrating and doing all the other things everyone forgot to do before the vote happened.

We know everyone was totally distracted by Barack Obama and his magical election, but guys, even we out here in New York knew you faced a well-funded, well-organized, media-savvy campaign of lies and misinformation, and the pro-gay marriage response was abysmal.

Now—now!—Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger says it's a shame gay marriage was banned, oh boo hoo. He didn't lift a finger to campaign against Prop 8 before! Now David Geffen is quoted in The Daily Beast babbling about the lack of outreach to black voters. Where was his money, before? [Update: Geffen gave $200k, out of his billions.] Did he get his rich liberal friends to contribute as much as the Mormon Church did? Did they use the money to build a grassroots movement as well-organized as the pro-Prop 8 guys did? Check out the list of Hollywood's non-donors as of September 10—many of them did eventually donate, but see how they didn't feel the need to until the last second?

Blaming the blacks is ridiculous and unhelpful and stupid. There aren't enough black people in California to have make the ultimate difference, even with bigger turnout, unless you consider these black voters a subset of religious voters, a giant group everyone should've known they'd have to contend with months ago. Black people certainly posed less of an electoral threat than Catholics did in the California polls.

It seems like everyone just assumed Prop 8 would fail, magically, even when the polls tightened significantly. And now—now!—the protests are ramping up. Now—now!—Keith Olbermann delivers his heartfelt Special Comment. Hey, let's all boycott Sundance! That'll show the Mormons! They won't meddle in our affairs ever again!

Of course the anger and resentment is already hardening. But yes, outreach and education and organization and money (and maybe some genuine help from Barack Obama, who was against Prop 8, though you'd never know it) might've won the battle.

Garnering support for gay rights in Arizona, in Arkansas, even in Florida, are difficult challenges that will still probably take years of work, but to get a gay marriage ban passed in California smacks of enlightened rich liberals not trying hard enough.

Obama-Bush Meeting Another Painful Reminder That No One's President Right Now [Politics]

Posted: November 10th, 2008, 10:27am CST by Pareene

Tags: politics

President Bush basically checked out six months ago, leaving the country rudderless and lost. We were distracted from this by a diverting election for a while, but now that's over. As President-elect Obama painfully explained in his first post-election press conference, we only get one president at a time. Except right now we get none! So maybe Obama should use today's White House transition meeting to figure out how to seize power, maybe? A coup, anyone? What else are they gonna do with the afternoon? Usually White House transition meetings are taken up with impressing upon the successor the awesome task ahead of him, but Obama probably understands that better than Bush does. So today Bush will probably just share some awesome White House secrets.

The gold standard of terrible presidential transitions? The 1933 handover from Herbert Hoover to Franklin Roosevelt. Back then, the new president didn't take office until March, so there were four months of lame duck Hoover trying to fix the economy, and the banking crisis, while FDR just passive-aggressively let him fuck things up and promised to undo everything Hoover did, once in office.

It didn't help in 1932 that the two men neither liked nor trusted each other: Hoover called Roosevelt "a chameleon on plaid," while FDR preferred the image of Hoover as "a fat, timid capon."

The meeting itself was lame, because FDR showed up for the tour and instead he got some Paultard shouting at him:

Their first visit after the election was not promising: Roosevelt came for what he thought was a personal call at the White House on November 22, 1932 — only to find Hoover's Treasury Secretary on hand to help the outgoing president deliver a lecture on the importance of the gold standard, the stability of the banking system and the problem of Europe's war debt.

Hoover left office the most hated man in America. So hated was he, that Americans actually thought he'd be arrested on his way out of Washington, for looting all the gold in Fort Knox.

In 1952, Truman was annoyed that his old friend Eisenhower had sold his soul by not denouncing Joe McCarthy. In 1960, Ike was convinced the keys to the nation had been handed over to some punk kid who didn't know what was what, but Kennedy impressed Ike with his intellect. That didn't happen when Bush II took over from Bill Clinton:

At the outset, Bush seemed tense, sitting straight in a wing-backed armchair, his hands clasped in his lap as he rubbed his thumbs and tapped his foot. Twice he thanked the president for his hospitality and said, "He didn't need to do this."

Another trend in transition meetings? The outgoing guy is convinced the incoming guy has no idea what he's in store for. Sometimes the outgoing guy is probably right:

President Carter carefully prepared for his meeting with Ronald Reagan, according to Mondale, but "it all went over Reagan's head and Carter really was shaken by it."

Today's transition meeting between Barack Obama and George W. Bush will probably go smoothly, as Bush is thrilled to be leaving office and has had only kind words for the incoming president, and Barack Obama has been surprisingly gracious about the disastrous presidency of his predecessor, using his name as shorthand for "How Fucked Up America Is" but seldom attacking the man personally.

So we are guessing that this transition will follow the other model. Not the "you're not prepared for the job ahead of you" thing, but something more like this:

Eisenhower also took time to show Kennedy how to use the panic button that would bring a helicopter to the back lawn. Eisenhower demonstrated its use, and "Kennedy watched the fluttering helicopter coming down outside the windows within a few minutes," Kennedy aide Kenneth P. O'Donnell later wrote.

AND:

As they walked to one in a series of White House meetings, Johnson pulled Nixon into his bedroom, and told him, "I wanted you to know about this." He showed Nixon a small safe hidden in the wall.

Yes! The White House is an awesome place, full of neat surprises, and being President means you get to eat candy whenever you want! Bush will presumably show Obama the secret passageway between the observatory and the billiard room, and show off how he gets free cable.

When New President Meets Old, It's Not Always Pretty [TIME]
Rite of passage as once and future presidents meet [AP]

Another Victory: Voters Break Up Congressional Rock Group [Politics]

Posted: November 6th, 2008, 8:51am CST by Pareene

Tags: politics

You think this election was all fun and games and hope and first black presidents and gay marriage banning? No! No, it was not! There were real things at stake that Americans didn't even think about, lives in the balance that Americans never considered, and now they've gone and torn a family apart with their "voting." That's right, the 110th Congress's only all-member rock band has been forced to disband.

"The Second Amendments" are an actual, instrument-playing rock band made up of members of congress. They were basically a crappy wedding band, playing dad music semi-competently, but the "members of Congress" thing made the whole show a little more surreal. Now, though, they are done, forever.

Drummer Rep. Kenny Hulshof (R-Mo.) already announced he would leave Congress, and his replacement, Rep. Bill Sali (R-Idaho), was voted out of office on Tuesday.

Keyboardist Rep. Jon Porter (R-Nev.) also lost his re-election bid, and with bass player Rep. Dave Weldon (R-Fla.) retiring at the end of the session, the only Members left in the group are lead guitarist Rep. Thaddeus McCotter (R-Mich.) and vocalist Rep. Collin Peterson (D-Minn.). (New York Democratic Rep. John Hall, a member of ’70s-era pop-rock group Orleans, had hinted at joining full-time.)

It's a sad story, if you care about what losers in Congress do in their spare time. Nearly as sad as the fate that befell the old Republican vocal group "The Singing Senators" (pictured, above). That group was made up of Jim Jeffords (retired from the Senate a Republican pariah for abandoning the party), John Ashcroft (left the Senate to join the Bush Administration [after losing his seat to A DEAD MAN! -ed]), Trent Lott (left the Senate to become a lobbyist years after his pro-segregation remarks forced him to resign his position in the GOP leadership), and Larry Craig (tried to fuck an undercover cop in an airport bathroom, surprisingly the last one in this band still serving in the Senate.)

Enough of the old losers, though! What of the new DC residents? Every new presidential administration brings with it to Washington DC a veritable army of new, true believing young men and women. Aides and staffers and excited new think tank interns and political appointees and flacks and fresh-faced staffers of the new congress all flock to DC in order to remake the city in the image of whoever is in charge this time around. And every time, the peaceful transfer of power is accompanied by profound, seething hatred, by the old guard, for the new.

Bill Clinton's hillbilly freaks make their home in dive bars far, far from The Hill, and everyone in DC was embarrassed when the cowboy morons of the Bush II showed up in their hats and boots. Now the Obama kids are on the way! And here is some fantastic news for them: the Bush kids broke the country, so Virginia real estate is super cheap. And whatever outgoing Republican you're buying from will be selling at an enormous loss. Hooray!

Sarah Palin Sorry She Ruined the Election for McCain [Politics]

Posted: November 5th, 2008, 1:55pm CST by Sheila

Tags: politics

newVideoPlayer("/Sarah_Palin_is_sorry.flv", 506, 423,""); When maverick John McCain picked moose-hunting maverick Sarah "Pit Bull" Palin as his running mate, everybody said that it was the typical sort of impulsive McCain gamble that would make him such a terrible leader—and cost him votes. Here's Palin admitting as much.

The phone banks need you now!

Posted: November 4th, 2008, 4:46pm CST by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Natalie Portman was just photographed in NYC at a Phone Bank with Vote For Change to get people out there to vote in the final crucial hours. The news is already predicting the winner in many states and if you want your candidate to win and you have voted, then hit up a phone bank now because every vote counts. We can make a difference, so go head to phone bank and helps others make a difference by voting!!!! addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fseriouslyomg.com%2F%3Fp%3D9587'; addthis_title = 'The+phone+banks+need+you+now%21'; addthis_pub = 'seriously';

Vote!!!

Posted: November 4th, 2008, 6:32am CST by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Just like that oMovies video you can’t wish for your candidate choice to win, but unlike that video I am not telling you who to vote for…just vote!!! Your vote can make the difference, so make a difference and vote!!! I don’t want another 2000.

addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fseriouslyomg.com%2F%3Fp%3D9579'; addthis_title = 'Vote%21%21%21'; addthis_pub = 'seriously';

McCain Goes for the "Sad Grandpa" [Politics]

Posted: November 3rd, 2008, 11:06am CST by Sheila

Tags: politics

McCain is expected to lose the election tomorrow, and the NYT's penultimate campaign article makes it sounds as if he's suffering a serious case of senioritis. He passes the time on his campaign bus with his young friends Joe Lieberman and Lindsey Graham, telling his favorite Henny Youngman "Take my wife, please" jokes. Who but our grandpa LOLs at borscht-belt comedians? And then there's his current regimen: "During the day he gets almost no exercise, eats the candy and junk food strewn all over his bus, and naps slumped in his seat in the curtained-off front section of his plane." Sounds exactly like Gramps—but don't be fooled by appearances. McCain is only executing the last-ditch secret "Sad Grandpa" plan he was supposedly joking about on SNL this weekend. After the jump, see the sketch.

John McCain does Saturday Night Live

Posted: November 2nd, 2008, 11:55am CST by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

I have to admit that John McCain was actually funny in those bits Saturday Night Live, but it didn’t hurt that he had Tina Fey by his side. What will SNL do after next Saturday and the election is over?

addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fseriouslyomg.com%2F%3Fp%3D9561'; addthis_title = 'John+McCain+does+Saturday+Night+Live'; addthis_pub = 'seriously';

Declare Yourself and vote on Tuesday!

Posted: October 29th, 2008, 3:22pm CDT by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Leonardo DiCaprio last month released a viral video with some friends telling us not to vote and it was a huge hit. So now he is back with a few more friends you might have heard of…Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Snoop Dogg, Harrison Ford, Julia Roberts, Ben Stiller, Will Smith, Steven Spielberg, Justin Timberlake, along with Sacha Baron Cohen as Borat, Zach Braff, Colin Farrell, Neil Patrick Harris, Scarlett Johansson, Shia LeBeouf, Tobey Maguire, Ryan Reynolds, and Jason Segal reminding us not to vote….not.
But seriously folks it doesn’t matter who or what you vote for on Tuesday as long as you Declare Yourself and vote!

addthis_url = 'http%3A%2F%2Fseriouslyomg.com%2F%3Fp%3D9537'; addthis_title = 'Declare+Yourself+and+vote+on+Tuesday%21'; addthis_pub = 'seriously';

Obama's Volunteers Just Drunk at This Point [Politics]

Posted: October 29th, 2008, 2:00pm CDT by Sheila

Tags: politics

newVideoPlayer("/obamaphone.flv", 506, 423,""); Have you ever phone-banked? It's pretty dull, even if you are helping people help themselves by voting FOR CHANGE. Have you tried drinking while making cold calls for Obama? The election is nigh; clearly Obama's army is overworked, overtired, and inebriated. (Click for the sound clip, via Mac Daddy World.)

(Speaking of Obama's campaign workers: we know you're out there, canvassing in the flyover states. Any tales from the front lines? Is there a hott Obama-worker hookup scene? Tell us at tips@gawker.com.)

Opie Cunnighan is back!!!

Posted: October 24th, 2008, 7:00am CDT by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Ron Howard shaved his beard and reunited with his old TV dad (Andy Griffith) from The Andy Griffith show and his BFF The Fonz (The Nicest Guy in Hollywood Henry Winkler) from Happy Days to get people out to vote for Barack Obama on November 4th!
Seriously if it wasn’t for the bald spot he looks exactly the same as he did when did both shows originally.

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Today's Sleazy, Racist Republican Roundup [Politics]

Posted: October 18th, 2008, 8:48am CDT by ian spiegelman

Tags: politics

So, how have our friends at the GOP been behaving themselves this week? Oh, it's not good. First, they tricked Democrats in California into becoming Republicans by telling them they were signing petitions for stiffer punishments for child molesters. Then, in DC, Boston, Seattle, and elsewhere, they sent racially charged death threats to ACORN staffers and vandalized their offices. And how were things in Ohio? Watch the most racist Sarah Palin rally so far caught on tape after the jump.

Sarah Palin's Fake SAT Scores Actually Belong to Born-Again Virgin Dawn Eden [Politics]

Posted: October 13th, 2008, 5:15pm CDT by Sheila

Tags: politics

Dawn Eden is a former rock journalist better known as the copy editor who got fired from the New York Post for being too conservative, later writing a book about not having sex. How fitting, then, that she somehow re-appears in the midst of the Sarah Palin report card forgery. The report card "is is in fact a forgery made from my SAT scoresheet, which I posted in January 2004," Eden blogs.

How bizarre. So Eden's the one with the 425 Verbal? Not really: whoever forged it "lowered the grades and scores on the printout to make Palin, an honor-society member, look like a mediocre student." Eden then dismisses us with a haughty, "And now, I will attempt to leave all this bloggy excitement behind for a while, as I am currently pursuing a master's degree in theology and need to study for midterms."

Also: Radar Online

Obama 'Tainted' By Gay Porn [Politics]

Posted: October 10th, 2008, 9:01am CDT by Hamilton Nolan

Tags: politics

Hot naked man-on-man pornography supports Obama! Not that there's anything wrong with that. But Page Six would like you to know that one of Obama's big donation "bundlers" is Terrence Bean—a real estate developer who owns a holding company that receives revenue from the sale of a gay porn company. Why, Obama himself is practically sucking cocks on camera, with connections like that! The important thing to remember in the midst of this pornographic—and gay—journalistic bombshell, is that the word "taint" must always receive prominent placement:

Bean, a real-estate developer based in Oregon, was the CEO of Conwest Resources, the holding company that owned Falcon, before Holmes died. The company was sold in 2004 but, now called 3 Media, continues to pay off a note to the foundation.

In 2002, Oregon Gov. Ted Kulongowski returned a $15,000 contribution from Conwest to avoid the "taint" of the porn connection.

Heh.

[The only gay porn hero not suporting Obama? Matt Sanchez.]

A Little More on Pigs... [Politics]

Posted: October 6th, 2008, 4:39pm CDT by Sheila

Tags: politics

"The New York Times has an article about me calling columnist Heather Mallick a pig," blogs Greta van Susteren via Foxnews.com. "Yes, I called a columnist—in a calm, cool voice—a pig for saying that the nominee for Vice President looks like a porn star." Well, Greta: you can be "happier than a pig in shit" or you can be a "thoughtless little pig," like Alec Baldwin called his daughter via voicemail. You can even be a capitalist pig. We've discussed the lexicon of contemporary vulgarities before, but never have we explored the history of farmyard abuse in politics. Like manure, it is a very rich and fertile ground.

There have been entire dissertations written about the "gendered" nature of insults, especially animal epithets. (One paper discusses how Camilla Parker-Bowles was often compared to a cow in the British media, even a "puppy.") Previously, we thought the "pig" insult was aimed at men. But recently we've learned it can be used towards women, too! Like Obama's alleged "lipstick on a pig" gaffe that wasn't aimed at Sarah Palin, Alec Baldwin's 11-year-old, and Greta's pundit-on-columnist insult action.

"Pig" as an insult has both religious and farmyard roots. (Some) Jews and Muslims avoid pork because Leviticus 11:17 called it an "unclean" animal. Pigs are scavengers in the wild—like dogs—and they'll eat anything, even cannibalize or eat human corpses. See, they have no morals! (Because they're animals.) So if you're a pig, you're not only a.) dirty, but b.) lazy, and c.) immoral. In a country rooted in hard-working Puritanism, this is a very bad combination.

However, as they're factory-farmed today, pigs are not dirty at all. Today's domesticated pig is fed mainly a diet of grain as they're fattened up for the kill, preparing them for the day in which they will be delivered to Americans' plates—and TV sets, and enlightened political debate.

Get ready, little guys. You're next.

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin take 3!

Posted: October 5th, 2008, 11:59am CDT by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Tina Fey does Sarah Palin one more time on Saturday Night Live, and this time she takes on the debate. I didn’t think this one was as good, but it was still funny.
BTW am I the only who felt the real debate was ruined for them on Thursday because they kept picturing Tina Fey as Sarah Palin? You know last week’s bit when Amy Poehler says something to her like the more confronted you are the cuter you get and she so did during the debate.

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What has Jessica Alba smiling for 3 minutes straight?

Posted: October 3rd, 2008, 8:36am CDT by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Declare Yourself is back with another brilliant ad and this one has Jessica Alba smiling for three minutes straight. This is the role Jessica Alba was born to play, in fact I think she was so good at I think she should quit acting and get a job on HSN or QVC!!! BTW I wonder if she got Honor Marie one of those toddler muzzlers…
On a Declare Yourself note, there are just 3 more days to register to vote for the US Presidential election in most states, so if you are not registered do it now. You know I am not political, but Declare Yourself has been doing such a great job with their ads that their message has actually gotten to me.

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Don’t vote or Jessica HannAlba Lecture will get you

Posted: October 2nd, 2008, 7:14am CDT by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Declare Yourself is trying a new tactic to get people to vote and I think it is there best one yet. There is so much more on the ballot besides voting for the President, I know in my state there are a lot of propositions I have to have my voice heard on.

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Tina Fey as Sarah Palin take 2!

Posted: September 28th, 2008, 8:27am CDT by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

While I love Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live because she really captures her essence. It think that Amy Poehler’s impression of Katie Couric was really dead on, as in Katie Couric’s dead eye expressions whenever she does she interviews or reads the news. Seriously why does CBS keep her around? Are they waiting for the day that she has no viewers, which she is close to doing any day now.

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McCain Suspends Campaign to Ruin Everything [Politics]

Posted: September 25th, 2008, 5:22pm CDT by Pareene

Tags: politics

So Barney Frank and Chris Dodd—and some senior Republicans!—hashed out a compromise bailout plan that looked much better than the Paulson plan, and it should pass the House and Senate before the markets open on Monday. Hooray! Except John McCain needs to look like he solved this crisis, so he told Spencer Bachus, the ranking Republican on the House Financial Services Committee, to announce that no one agreed to anything and then Bachus added that McCain has his own brand-new plan no one has seen before. So by "solving the crisis" McCain basically torpedoed the bipartisan consensus just as it formed. Barney Frank is all "why didn't Bachus bring this up during our meeting, the fact that John McCain would immediately force him to denounce the plan he just agreed to?" Meanwhile John Boehner has appointed nine ultra-conservative House Republicans to draft a third plan. Ha ha ha...?? The Dodd/Frank plan still might pass. But who knows what Bush will do! We won't debate any of the plans on their merits because what the fuck do we know (except that the Boehner plan will be terrible). Oh and how about those debates?

"I'm hopeful that we can. I believe it's very possible if we can get an agreement in time to for me to get to Mississippi but I also asked Senator Obama to go to 10 town halls with me...he refused." That's a rough quote from McCain to the press at 5:30 or so today. He probably thinks he sounds very leader-y and not just petulant. Obama wouldn't debate me then, on my terms, 100 times, so I won't debate him now! Why can't this 100-year-old man GROW UP.

Thanks But No Thanks, Media! Palin Already Has Protection Against Witches [Politics]

Posted: September 24th, 2008, 4:51pm CDT by Sheila

Tags: politics

Sarah Palin almost—almost!—takes the fun out of making fun of her, because it's just too easy. She believes she'll see Jesus in her lifetime, says "Thanks but no thanks!" in that doodly-adorable accent, has the audacity to live in Alaska, and chooses unfortunate names for her children. Aw, look! Here she is, earnestly taking the podium at church in order to get protected against "every form of witchcraft"! The fun begins around seven minutes in.

Unfortunately, the demon-protection didn't work, based on this bit from Palin's upcoming interview with Katie Couric:

"Unfortunately, that [another Great Depression] is the road that America may find itself on. Not necessarily this, as it's been proposed, has to pass or we're gonna find ourselves in another Great Depression. But there has to be action taken, bipartisan effort – Congress not pointing fingers at this point at … one another, but finding the solution to this, taking action and being serious about the reforms on Wall Street that are needed."

Barack Obama Graciously Turns Down Lindsay Lohan's Offer of Support [Politics]

Posted: September 17th, 2008, 1:53pm CDT by Richard

Tags: politics

Actress Lindsay Lohan, so politically outspoken these days, recently lobbied some criticism, once again on her MySpace page, against Sarah Palin—the Alaskan warrior poet who, just in the nick of time, stopped a confused John McCain from wandering into a cave full of bears and was named his Vice Presidential running mate as thanks. She said that Palin hates gays ("media-obsessed homophobe!") and that that is bad. And now she wants to join the cause and drum up support for Barack Obama! Trouble is, Obama doesn't really want her help.

The Chicago Sun-Times reports:

Apparently, LiLo was interested in becoming very involved in the Democratic ticket's bid for the White House — even offering to host a series of events appealing to younger voters.

However, a top source in the Barack Obama team tells me the actress ''is not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be a positive for us.''

Given Lohan's past problems, plus ongoing brushes with controversy, I've learned the campaign quietly told the actress ''thanks, but no thanks,'' but in far more diplomatic terms.

Lohan has been invited to attend several of the big Hollywood bashes this week — and also pay big bucks for the privilege of rubbing shoulders with the likes of Barbra Streisand, Steven Spielberg, David Geffen and other high-profile Hollywood boosters of the Obama campaign.

Oh, well that's nice. But c'mon, Barry. Cut her some slack. After all, Palin has a whole town's worth of drugged-out supporters.

[via Superficialist]

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin

Posted: September 14th, 2008, 5:21pm CDT by SeriouslyOMGWTF

Tags: politics

Ever since Sarah Palin took over our TVs, newspapers and magazines we have all said she looks like Tina Fey, and we all wanted to see Tina Fey do her on Saturday Night Live. Well now that Saturday Night Live is back we all got our chance, and Tina Fey does a good Sarah Palin.

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The Roots of Sarah Palin's UpDo [The Politics Of Hair]

Posted: September 14th, 2008, 9:39am CDT by Jasper Reardon

Tags: the politics of hair

We know some opportunistic types have been trying to capitalize on the magnetism of the iconoclastic updo of our favorite she-mav, Sarah Palin. But the true story of that hairstyle's humble beginning will move you.

According to The New York Times, "The ballerina-pink Beehive, in a 1,400-square-foot ranch house, is a cut-and-color shop. A haircut is $30, discounted to $20 if you get the $95 color treatment. In a downstairs nursery, the stylists’ babies play with mannequin heads. In a phone interview, Mrs. Steele, 37, described a kind of “Steel Magnolias” on permafrost, featuring Ms. Palin as a recurring presence."

What follows is a heartwarming and utterly pointless tale of one woman and the fact that she has a hairdo: </

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Posted: November 18th, 2008, 12:50pm CST by Pareene

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