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Posted: July 29th, 2008, 2:49pm CDT by Richard
When the waters finally rise and sluice their way into New York City streets, it will be the bloggers—crazy, beautiful, typo-ridden—who become the first responders. I mean look at the reportage from the front of California's ELE earthquake today. Perez scooped CNN! Because he was there, feeling the rumble and hum of his assets shaking in his chair. So what are these intrepid shut-ins saying of the event? Take a look at a little earthquake reaction digest after the jump.
- Perez taught us lessons with a scientific earthquake diagram.
- Mary Rambin, who fancies herself some sort of fashion person and is apparently in Los Angeles, said Holy Shit! and then remarked that she hadn't "felt the earth shaking since college." Hmm.... Euphemism?
- The Superficial cursed the God that sent an earthquake but was unable to kill Heidi and Spencer. That we know of. They could be under a pile of IKEA rubble right now.
- Mollygood similarly moaned about annoying celebrities not dying.
- Worst Website In the World TMZ hasn't posted anything since 2:41. The only reasonable explanation is that they are all dead. So you heard it here first. TMZ: Dead.
- Trent from Pink is the New Blog hasn't posted anything since a 4:00 am item about Estelle Getty. Though he lives in Detroit, we're still concerned. Update! He's on the Continent, out of harm's way. Until, you know, he goes back to Detroit.
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Reporters are scrambling all over the place in LA right now to find out just what "went down" in the Great Shake Of '08! Newspapers are pulling first-hand accounts off Twitter! Websites are quoting other websites! But the LA Times is already taking ownership of the official reaction-angle to the disaster, by tracking down Southern California's most scaredy-cat government officers to describe exactly how they cowered in fear when the quake struck an hour ago:
The quake interrupted a meeting of the Los Angeles City Council, causing the 27-story City Hall to sway just as Councilman Dennis Zine was criticizing a plan to increase trash fees.
"Earthquake! Earthquake! We've got an earthquake," said Zine, as members of the audience began to cry out. "It's still happening."
Orange County also felt shaking.
"It's the first time in my life I actually got under my desk," said Anaheim Police Sgt. Ken Seymour, who has lived in Southern California his whole life.
[LAT]
Cultural capital of the world Los Angeles held up bravely during its earthquake yesterday, not counting its public officials. Bloggers continued their work, showings of Batman went on undisturbed, and gynecologists kept on, uh, doing their thing. But Judge Judy was not the only celebrity to suffer a disruption; the quake shook LA's indispensable horoscope reader CosmosGal (pictured, bracing herself) to distraction! Even worse, the attractive denizens of the Big Brother house were forced to flee outdoors and remove their shirts! You can see both of the stunning clips of disaster survival after the jump; we urge any other minor celebrities who may have been inconvenienced to contact us at once: