According to financially troubled magazine US News & World Report, the best college in the world is financially troubled Harvard, whose endowment has "suffered investment losses of at least 22% in the first four months of the school's fiscal year," according to the Wall Street Journal. Turns out all those colleges investing in real estate and private equity and commodities was only a brilliant idea for like ten years. This is a loss of $8 billion! So now the endowment is only like $29 billion. Is the Ivy League too big to fail?
Should Harvard seek some sort of bailout? If it means Keith Gessen and Lena Chen carpooling down to DC on a fuel-efficient bicycle built for two in order to beg skeptical Congressmen for $10 billion then yes, definitely.
Of course, Harvard is too snooty to beg like mere CEOs of automobile companies. They will probably just try to influence congressional opinion with op-eds and thinly veiled autobiographical novels and episodes of The Simpsons.
But, in lieu of federal intervention, Harvard will deal with this crushing loss of a fration of their massive wealth by freezing hiring in the Faculty of Arts and Sciences.
(Also, breaking: College May Become Unaffordable for Most in the U.S. Oh no! What will kids do to pass the time before they move back in with their parents to pass the time until their parents house is foreclosed on?)
Is it possible that college students—rather than being our nation's elite—are just unsophisticated dolts, like the rest of America? According to a new survey, college kids' favorite magazine is Time. Last year it was Cosmopolitan. What, they don't teach book-learnin' in universities any more? But then you realize that the same survey says college kids' favorite restaurant is McDonald's and their favorite clothing brand is American Eagle and their favorite band is Coldplay, and it all starts to fit. [
Ever get to the point at the end of the month where you thought about putting something in hock to shore up extra cash? That's what colleges are doing, especially the multibillion-endowed Ivies who have invested in the types of things that there is "no public market for," 
While Ivies like Harvard, Princeton, and Yale are 
We were so close to making it through a whole day believing that the pure joy of Obama's win 
Network news divisions got skittish about calling presidential elections following their colossally terrible performance in 2000. 
Now here's something to consider: stay out of the rainy economy and take shelter by hiding out at college—and earn a $10,000 "
Three years ahead of schedule, Columbia J-School 
Everyone's forgetting to pay their taxes these days—from gay club 
If there's one thing we're absolutely sick of it's journalists complaining about other journalists for no reason except to revel in the glorious, righteous contrarianism of complaint. And we are about to complain about it. Ha, cause we're so contrarian! Check out my surprising viewpoint, baby! I'd like to start off my complaint by telling Washington City Paper editor Erik Wemple to shut up.
Many a trend piece has begun in and around Williamsburg's hip, multi-culti McCarren Park: the Times has been loving to 
Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman? The paperboy? The evening TV? That's what poor, down-on-their-luck residents of Manhattan's West Village are desperately wondering, shaking their fists at the dark, swirling, unforgiving heavens. You see, though many celebrities—Julianne Moore, Giselle Bundchen, Matthew Broderick's well-trimmed beard—live in the area around West 13th street, they don't cause any problems. They just blend in. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the street's most recent transplants, the Wonder Bobbsey Hobo twins, actresses and moguls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
The twits at Columbia can be so déclassé: as Vesal Yazdi wrote in the university's Spectator (and as 
The much-vaunted Miss Williamsburg pageant we 
My only experience on a college newspaper was a mandatory one-semester period, the highlight of which was the adviser rejecting most of my stories for not being "serious" enough, and telling me menacingly, "People who work with me tend to do better professionally." (Confidential to that lady: Suck on the splendor of my cramped studio apartment, yea!). Some people parlay the editorship of their school papers into a nice journalism job—for example, every last employee of the New York Times was once editor-in-chief of the Harvard Crimson. Which is fine! Although it does increase your
Some little assholes used Digg and Wikipedia to spread the lie that teen actress Miley Cyrus had died in a car accident last night caused by "an unidentified black man"—and Yahoo News picked up the story. The hoax was short-lived, thank God. By this morning, it was hard to tell who, if anyone—aside from Yahoo—actually fell for it. One of the only mentions of it as anything but a scam seems to be this retarded Digg entry. So did anyone else actually buy it?
It's about time that the paper of record started covering the happenings in McCarren park, the ragged dirt patch that is home to the 
I was wandering the streets of Carroll Gardens (Brooklyn Heights' free-spirited sister) during a Bastille Day celebration last month, and there were people, tons of people!, wearing straw hats and frothy summer dresses and being languid and too cool for anything other than drinking in the summertime. And there I was, hungover as hell, tromping over from my—fine, I'll admit it—South Slope apartment, looking like a hobo 
Gossip Girl, our bitchiest teen soap about Manhattan rich kids glowing dimly, is currently filming at Columbia University (someone run up there and take pictures!) Which makes sense, cause, you know, it's New Yorky and the show loves to make references to all of the city's hotspots (Veselka! Butter! DUMBOsburg!) But, gasp, the scenes they're filming take place at Yale. How dare they confuse one set of rich kids with inflated senses of intellect and caste-like status with another? Plus the architecture is totes different. 
An argument that broke out at a national debating competition last week led to a long-haired, hippiesh Kansas City professor dropping his pants and mooning the room, 
It's hard to convince people, sometimes, that blogging is a "real" job. But it totally is, in a statistically insignificant (but marginally growing!) number of cases. But, you know, the obsessive hobbyists don't help with that perception. And, uh, neither does this ad, from the University of Phoenix.
Unfortunately for me, I don't roll around in the comment threads of other sites, so I am just now learning that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull haters have decided that "Nuke the Fridge" is the new "Jump the Shark." Because, you know, they couldn't handle the campy opening scene in which Indy escapes a nuclear blast by hiding in a lead-lined refrigerator. I guess it does lack the gritty realism of faces being melted by one Biblical relic and a gut-shot being instantly healed by another or, say, using an inflatable raft as a parachute, or a thousand year-old knight or... Anywho... 
As long as we're 
Daphne Oz, Princeton '08 and author of the freshman-15 battling book, The Dorm Room Diet, also put out an awesome workout video. The perils of gaining a couple pounds must be fought tooth and nail, says the daughter of frequent Oprah guest Dr. Mehmet Oz. Click for the gayest workout video of our time, starring Daphne's ex-boyfriend (
Bard College, the liberal arts school located 120 miles north in Annandale-on-Hudson, "puts the 'liberal' in 'liberal arts,'" according to the 'Princeton Review.' It has a 600-acre campus and nearly 1500 undergrads. This is their story--as told by a student who would like to be known as Stephan K. Some names have been changed to protect the guilty.
