While Ivies like Harvard, Princeton, and Yale are bleeding endowment money in the market downturn, their graduating seniors are facing a decimated job market upon graduation. What to do? "Prompted by inequalities in American society—or sensing that the economic crisis limits their short-term career opportunities—young people are applying in force to such organizations as Teach for America," reports the Columbia Spectator. It's amazing how altruistic the unemployed can get! "With many top firms in jeopardy, Columbia students who in other years would have landed prestigious internships or six-figure jobs are simply out of options." And now they will have to resign themselves to two years of teaching poors, where they will annoy people ad nauseum about how much they "learned" after they finish the program.
Meanwhile, Harvard's President Drew Faust told the AP,
"'We need to be prepared to absorb unprecedented endowment losses and plan for a period of greater financial restraint.' Faust's spokesman declined to say much Harvard's endowment has lost during the current economic turmoil."
But she did note in an e-mail that Harvard had to prepare for losses as much as thirty percent. The university has a $37 billion endowment. For now!
We were so close to making it through a whole day believing that the pure joy of Obama's win 
Network news divisions got skittish about calling presidential elections following their colossally terrible performance in 2000. 
Now here's something to consider: stay out of the rainy economy and take shelter by hiding out at college—and earn a $10,000 "
Three years ahead of schedule, Columbia J-School 
Everyone's forgetting to pay their taxes these days—from gay club 
If there's one thing we're absolutely sick of it's journalists complaining about other journalists for no reason except to revel in the glorious, righteous contrarianism of complaint. And we are about to complain about it. Ha, cause we're so contrarian! Check out my surprising viewpoint, baby! I'd like to start off my complaint by telling Washington City Paper editor Erik Wemple to shut up.
Many a trend piece has begun in and around Williamsburg's hip, multi-culti McCarren Park: the Times has been loving to 
Whatever happened to predictability? The milkman? The paperboy? The evening TV? That's what poor, down-on-their-luck residents of Manhattan's West Village are desperately wondering, shaking their fists at the dark, swirling, unforgiving heavens. You see, though many celebrities—Julianne Moore, Giselle Bundchen, Matthew Broderick's well-trimmed beard—live in the area around West 13th street, they don't cause any problems. They just blend in. Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the street's most recent transplants, the Wonder Bobbsey Hobo twins, actresses and moguls Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.
The twits at Columbia can be so déclassé: as Vesal Yazdi wrote in the university's Spectator (and as 
The much-vaunted Miss Williamsburg pageant we 
My only experience on a college newspaper was a mandatory one-semester period, the highlight of which was the adviser rejecting most of my stories for not being "serious" enough, and telling me menacingly, "People who work with me tend to do better professionally." (Confidential to that lady: Suck on the splendor of my cramped studio apartment, yea!). Some people parlay the editorship of their school papers into a nice journalism job—for example, every last employee of the New York Times was once editor-in-chief of the Harvard Crimson. Which is fine! Although it does increase your
Some little assholes used Digg and Wikipedia to spread the lie that teen actress Miley Cyrus had died in a car accident last night caused by "an unidentified black man"—and Yahoo News picked up the story. The hoax was short-lived, thank God. By this morning, it was hard to tell who, if anyone—aside from Yahoo—actually fell for it. One of the only mentions of it as anything but a scam seems to be this retarded Digg entry. So did anyone else actually buy it?
It's about time that the paper of record started covering the happenings in McCarren park, the ragged dirt patch that is home to the 
Hey there, proud parents of exceptional teens, you can end your search for a learning experience that does justice to your child's special gifts RIGHT NOW because the new US News & World Report 
I was wandering the streets of Carroll Gardens (Brooklyn Heights' free-spirited sister) during a Bastille Day celebration last month, and there were people, tons of people!, wearing straw hats and frothy summer dresses and being languid and too cool for anything other than drinking in the summertime. And there I was, hungover as hell, tromping over from my—fine, I'll admit it—South Slope apartment, looking like a hobo 
Gossip Girl, our bitchiest teen soap about Manhattan rich kids glowing dimly, is currently filming at Columbia University (someone run up there and take pictures!) Which makes sense, cause, you know, it's New Yorky and the show loves to make references to all of the city's hotspots (Veselka! Butter! DUMBOsburg!) But, gasp, the scenes they're filming take place at Yale. How dare they confuse one set of rich kids with inflated senses of intellect and caste-like status with another? Plus the architecture is totes different. 
An argument that broke out at a national debating competition last week led to a long-haired, hippiesh Kansas City professor dropping his pants and mooning the room, 
